Coping with personal tragedy post-op

Shelly, my condolences to you during this time.  As someone who's recently lost her father I can understand what you are going through.  It's tough, take time to cry and feel your grief; each day tends to improve ever so slightly.

Please take care of yourself during this time.

I'm so sorry for your loss. Keep on taking good care of yourself during this difficult time, not taking care of yourself won't help you or anyone else.

Larra

Oh, Shelly. I am so sorry for your loss and pain.

You are already doing the right thing by thinking of your health during this stressful time. Poor self-care helped most of us get to where we needed WLS in the first place. Now is NOT the time to slide back into that old habit. Your dad would be proud that you are taking better care of yourself than ever.

This may not be popular, but I don't care: One of the things I like about my DS is that I can still self-medicate a bit with food when I am feeling extreme stress. It's not to the extent that I could before, but a little bit of ****ty comfort food goes a long way to soothe me. Since I do not do drugs or drink much, I still like to use food a bit to calm me down. Some carbs are ok, in my probably screwed-up book. As soon as you find your footing, get back on track and cut back on the carbs again and up your protein.

If you are feeling really bad, a good therapist could be a good investment.

Hugs,

Nicolle

Shelly, I am so sorry to hear about the loss of your father. My Dad and I were like two peas in a pod and his passing was very hard on me.

Thankfully the good Lord gave me something to get through it. My baby boy had been born just 3 months prior so that certainly gave me something I knew I had to focus on. Perhaps your DS will be something you can focus on. It is a big event in your life. Your about 8 months out so you know about what you need to do for yourself, as you mentioned the chips and breading stuff. Maybe you can leave a bowl of nuts out on the counter that you can grab easily. Perhaps some stuff like cottage cheese, yogurt, tuna salad, or egg salad on the front row of your refrigerator shelves so that you can grab them easily without much thinking.

You were smart to ask your family for help remembering your vites and protein. Remember to get lots of water in, also. I'm sure at times now you just don't feel like doing a darn thing. I can tell you that time will heal your wounds, although I know that seems like forever, now.

Sending you big hugs, Jenny

Sweetie, I am sooo sorry you are having to go thru this.  Grieving is a complicated process and hard on our bodies and souls.  Do whatever you have to, to get thru the next few weeks...screw the carbs...they are the last of your worries.  I would recommend peanut butter on crackers or toast if you can handle it.  Nuts, in general, are a good thing to keep with you at all times. That way you get some much needed fat, protein, and calories (as I am sure you will not be eating or drinking enough).  I have my best drinking with hot decaf tea so I drink that a lot....so however you can drink the most, do it. 

My prayers and thoughts are with you!  Keep us updated as you can so we can know you are okay.

Laurie

Oh Hell Shelly. I'm so sorry.

Just do what you must. This isn't the time for thinking about it. You have to just do it. Get some protein bars that you tolerate and force yourself to eat 1/4 of one after you use the restroom (i do this trick with half a glass of water to get my fluids in)...Just try to be good to yourself. See you next month??

Shelly, I don't think there's anything I can say to make it better, but I can tell you about my experience losing my Grandmother a few weeks after my DS surgery. She has been in a nursing home for several years. We were very close and I had been going to visit her regularly up until the beginning of this year when my health went downhill due to obesity related issues (really bad high B/P, etc.). I planned to go visit her before I left for Mexico for my DS but I got busy and didn't do it. I told myself that I would go see her as soon as I got back. Five days after I got home she passed away. I was feeling great despite my surgery and had planned to go see her on the Saturday after I returned. She died on Tuesday of that week. As you can imagine the guilt was huge. I should have figured out a way to squeeze in a visit with her sooner.

To add insult to injury I was tapped to give the eulogy at her funeral. I was only 3.5 weeks post-op and I didn't eat anything the morning of the service because I had a really touchy stomach at the time and wanted to make sure I didn't hurl while I was up on the pulpit speaking. Afterwards there was a luncheon at the church. I ate a small cube of watermelon, a couple of berries and a piece of cheese. 10 minutes later my brother was holding open the back door of the church (so I wouldn't get locked out) while I was out barfing in the bushes. Sounds awful I know. But we were both laughing hysterically about it at the time.

Although I felt terrible about the whole situation, I know my Grandmother would be very happy about how things are going for me. She battled her weight too and suffered through many surgeries (back, knee replacements, etc.) all things that I will now avoid as I lose my excess weight while I am still young.

I'm sure your Dad and my Grandma are up there rooting for both of us.

I am so sorry to know of your loss. Just take the best care of yourself you can. Grieving takes time, so don't rush yourself to " feel better".
I'm glad your have family to help you now.

IM so sorry for your loss, I think you did the right thing by making sure your family helps you stay accountable with your vites and protein.  Im sure sorry this happened.
Hang in there, prayers for you and your family.
JJ