Emotions and Marriage

honeybadger 11
on 11/24/11 3:56 am - FL
My husband is 110% supportive and has not said a single bad word about this journey, recovery and my diminished state of participation in the house and our relationship but Ive been with him for 10yrs and i know hes stressed and miserable but hes a stuffer.

We are very active people always out by ourselves or with friends but we havent been able to do anything together in a month. I feel the strain this puts on us. We dont even eat dinner together right now because we arent eating the same things. We can snuggle because of my surgery sights. I feel completely removed from him right now.

I know this will get better as i heal but how did you all handle this? Is there anything i can be doing to make this transition easier? 

Plus the DS makes me a basket case and some days i cry for no reason constantly. And talking to him to get his "stuffed" emotions to the surface makes this hard because i cry thru the whole talk! He knows its the surgery doing this but hes less apped to talk because he doesnt want to stress me...ugh its a terrible circle!


~Jennifer
Revision to DS 11/9/11                                  LapBand 12/2006
SW  321/ CW 248/ GW 185                           SW 330/ HW 348/ LW 300
Join me here: http://weightlosssurgery.proboards.com
        

Elizabeth N.
on 11/24/11 4:13 am - Burlington County, NJ
Hang in there. It's a matter of time sweetie. Back off and just heal. And try eating dinner together anyway.


honeybadger 11
on 11/24/11 4:25 am - FL
Thanks EN. Love the kitties! This DS phenomenon is crazy. I would say our marriage is solid but after only 2wks and all these ridiculous emotions its make you think you dont know nothing! We talk everything out so we will get thru it but its scary how fast things can change....marriage really takes nurturing that you dont think about when you are healthy and are able to give it fully without thinking! 

Thanks again, you really are a soild on this board and im always happy when i get a reply from you.

~Jennifer
Revision to DS 11/9/11                                  LapBand 12/2006
SW  321/ CW 248/ GW 185                           SW 330/ HW 348/ LW 300
Join me here: http://weightlosssurgery.proboards.com
        

octobermorning
on 11/24/11 9:54 am
DS on 07/25/12
I think that may be the cutest picture I've ever seen!
* Gail R *
on 11/24/11 6:09 am - SF Bay Area, CA
ou probably know this, but it may help to remember this. Fat stores hormones and as we get rid of the fat, the hormones are released into our system to wreak havoc! there's no reason you can't snuggle togeather watching a TV movie. It sounds like you have a wonderful relationship. His support tells it all so don't expect him to open up about his worries. Just feel like the lucky woman that you are. You have a healthy life to look forward to. (and a lot of closer snuggling once you are recovered. LOL)
Happy Thanksgiving.

~Gail R~  high wt.288,  surg wt 274, LW 143, CW 153,  GW164

honeybadger 11
on 11/24/11 7:27 am - FL
Thanks Gail. You are right, i do know about the hormones and that actually what i tell him everytime i start crying for no reason! But it is good to remember this isnt me, its the hormones:)

He is amazing and i love him to no end so yes i will follow your advice and feel like the lucky woman im am:)

Thanks for the positive words. I KNOW its just a phase but the feelings are intense. Im so glad to have this board!

~Jennifer
Revision to DS 11/9/11                                  LapBand 12/2006
SW  321/ CW 248/ GW 185                           SW 330/ HW 348/ LW 300
Join me here: http://weightlosssurgery.proboards.com
        

Elizabeth N.
on 11/24/11 11:13 am - Burlington County, NJ
It's also drug induced. Some people take a long time to be really normal again after general anesthesia. Even after a sedation, I'm a mental case for a couple days. General anesthesia does me in sometimes for weeks.

* Gail R *
on 11/25/11 2:59 am - SF Bay Area, CA
I think it took me at least a month to get over the effects of my anesthesia. I really had a strong reaction to it and had a hard time waking up after surgery.  I wasn't clear headed for a long time which can be very disconcerting!

~Gail R~  high wt.288,  surg wt 274, LW 143, CW 153,  GW164

Julie R.
on 11/24/11 8:42 am - Ludington, MI
My gosh, dear, you are only two weeks out!    You've just had major surgery.   You and he both need to give it some time.
Julie R - Ludington, Michigan
Duodenal Switch 08/09/06 - Dr. Paul Kemmeter, Grand Rapids, Michigan
HW: 282 - 5'4"
SW: 268
GW: 135
CW: 125

Its a Secret
on 11/24/11 9:21 am
thank you for saying that about crying...I've been crying over sit coms.

Your hubby loves and supports you...right now you are working on healing, after that work on getting hubby unstuffed.  say every day that you love him and be with him where you can, it will be enough till you can be back to normal :)
                
×