Emotionally dealing with the DS
I made sure not only did I thank her but I told the manager. At our local Goodwill the people are really nice and helpful. I've been going there for years and have always had nothing but good experiences. I've heard stories about some of the other stores though.
Hopefully my mind will be ok :) Thanks to an awesome therapist and an awesome support system not to mention amazing peers and vets that I've met through sites like this :)
Hopefully my mind will be ok :) Thanks to an awesome therapist and an awesome support system not to mention amazing peers and vets that I've met through sites like this :)
NoMore B.
on 11/20/11 10:09 pm
on 11/20/11 10:09 pm
You bring up some excellent points here that people need to consider, and to be prepared for the emotional side of massive weight loss.
Your description of giving away your clothes is very similar to what happened to me. I had always thought it would be a happy day for me, but instead I was extremely upset and found it very difficult to give things away. I was emotionally attached to my clothes, I think 1) because of the frustrations of finding size 24W clothes I liked and all I had to go through to get them, and 2) because I was thinking about how good I thought I looked in them at the time and was feeling foolish. I also went through a panic when I realized that I would have to give away every single clothing article I owned - clothes, underwear, bras, even shoes were too big.
It's definitely been a roller coaster of emotions for me. The first time I was able to shop in the Misses section of the stores, I had another panic episode. In the department stores, I was overhwelmed with the choices and didnt know where to start. In the "regular" stores, I felt like an imposter that was going to get called out and sent to Lane Bryant at any time. It's not like me to be panicked and anxious, I know it sounds borderline crazy but it's exactly what I felt.
Be prepared. My relationships have changed. I have a sister that barely speaks to me now because she confused my excitement over my weight loss as bragging (she's obese herself). I had similar reactions from my mother, who said a year ago when I put a new picuture on FB that I should get a memo that I'm still fat.
The other thing I struggle with is the attitude of people towards the obese. Now that I appear to be a normal weight on the outside, people feel free to comment to me about others weight issues. Even people who knew me as MO, which amazes me. Did you ever see how Tyra Banks sometimes puts on a fat suit and goes out in public to see how people treat her? I feel the opposite, that I'm wearing some type of thin suit but still identify so much better with MO people.
Yeah, I rambled on a bit here. Sorry...As you can see, the emotional ups and downs are alive and well in my head.
Your description of giving away your clothes is very similar to what happened to me. I had always thought it would be a happy day for me, but instead I was extremely upset and found it very difficult to give things away. I was emotionally attached to my clothes, I think 1) because of the frustrations of finding size 24W clothes I liked and all I had to go through to get them, and 2) because I was thinking about how good I thought I looked in them at the time and was feeling foolish. I also went through a panic when I realized that I would have to give away every single clothing article I owned - clothes, underwear, bras, even shoes were too big.
It's definitely been a roller coaster of emotions for me. The first time I was able to shop in the Misses section of the stores, I had another panic episode. In the department stores, I was overhwelmed with the choices and didnt know where to start. In the "regular" stores, I felt like an imposter that was going to get called out and sent to Lane Bryant at any time. It's not like me to be panicked and anxious, I know it sounds borderline crazy but it's exactly what I felt.
Be prepared. My relationships have changed. I have a sister that barely speaks to me now because she confused my excitement over my weight loss as bragging (she's obese herself). I had similar reactions from my mother, who said a year ago when I put a new picuture on FB that I should get a memo that I'm still fat.
The other thing I struggle with is the attitude of people towards the obese. Now that I appear to be a normal weight on the outside, people feel free to comment to me about others weight issues. Even people who knew me as MO, which amazes me. Did you ever see how Tyra Banks sometimes puts on a fat suit and goes out in public to see how people treat her? I feel the opposite, that I'm wearing some type of thin suit but still identify so much better with MO people.
Yeah, I rambled on a bit here. Sorry...As you can see, the emotional ups and downs are alive and well in my head.
So far the clothes have been my biggest hurdle. I used to think I looked so good, so put together. Now that the clothes are gone I look at old pictures and all I can think is "wow I looked so uncomfortable in them".
I'm dreading the relationship changes but hopefully I'll be able to turn them into an opportunity for new friendships :)
I'm dreading the relationship changes but hopefully I'll be able to turn them into an opportunity for new friendships :)
You're welcome. :)
I lurked on the boards for a long time before contributing. If it wasn't for the vets and all the advice and random things they posted I wouldn't of learned anything about the DS. I made OH my new addiction and as far as research and learning goes this was one of the best places I could of come.
One thing I found is that you have to learn that although the vets are full of knowledge their delivery can be a little harsh. Please don't ever take it badly. They say what they say and the way they say it for a reason. If we were all able to learn and thrive with unicorn horns and rainbows we probably wouldn't need WLS in the first place. Sometimes what we need is a slap across the face to get back into reality and really understand the message.
Whatever you do NEVER stop reading. NEVER stop communicating. Never stop searching the boards.
The DS is such a complete change in life that the closest thing I can compare it to is the birth of a child. It changes your body and mind, in good ways and in some bad. But it will be the most uplifting amazing experience you can fathom. Emotionally and physically you are in for one hell of a ride but I've yet to find a DSer *****grets it.
Good luck and feel free to msg me :)
I lurked on the boards for a long time before contributing. If it wasn't for the vets and all the advice and random things they posted I wouldn't of learned anything about the DS. I made OH my new addiction and as far as research and learning goes this was one of the best places I could of come.
One thing I found is that you have to learn that although the vets are full of knowledge their delivery can be a little harsh. Please don't ever take it badly. They say what they say and the way they say it for a reason. If we were all able to learn and thrive with unicorn horns and rainbows we probably wouldn't need WLS in the first place. Sometimes what we need is a slap across the face to get back into reality and really understand the message.
Whatever you do NEVER stop reading. NEVER stop communicating. Never stop searching the boards.
The DS is such a complete change in life that the closest thing I can compare it to is the birth of a child. It changes your body and mind, in good ways and in some bad. But it will be the most uplifting amazing experience you can fathom. Emotionally and physically you are in for one hell of a ride but I've yet to find a DSer *****grets it.
Good luck and feel free to msg me :)
I'm so glad to see you here on the board again! Either I keep missing your postings or you've been away for a bit. I'm two weeks out and have already planned to start therapy after surgery. I REALLY wish I had started before surgery though--these past two weeks have already been a rollercoaster. I'm at the "doubting" stage preop. I'm wondering if I'm making the right decisions, doubting how well my family will be doing, and not looking forward to surgery anymore. Also, I'm a control freak so I know after surgery it'll be really hard (emotionally) for me to let go and feel ok that I'm not able to help with the kids and that my family will do just fine.
It sounds like you're doing great. Thanks for your honesty and for sharing your story.
Sheri
p.s. Pictures please!
It sounds like you're doing great. Thanks for your honesty and for sharing your story.
Sheri
p.s. Pictures please!
Sher--the bear mama
You haven't missed any posts :) I needed a break from my computer life. Thank goodness for my phone or I wouldn't of even been on FB.
The doubting stage is normal. As long as you have research under your belt and a good surgeon the rest will all fall into place. The week or two before my surgery I was an emotional wreck. Thank goodness for soft tissues, zanex and my therapist. As a fellow control freak I totally understand your pain. :)
You're very welcome. I've received so much support and guidance from this site that not paying it back feels like a crime. Plus it feels good to get it out here too.
Pictures are coming this morning. I took some yesterday because I knew I needed to update them. I posted them to my profile but I'll be photowhoring in about an hour :)
The doubting stage is normal. As long as you have research under your belt and a good surgeon the rest will all fall into place. The week or two before my surgery I was an emotional wreck. Thank goodness for soft tissues, zanex and my therapist. As a fellow control freak I totally understand your pain. :)
You're very welcome. I've received so much support and guidance from this site that not paying it back feels like a crime. Plus it feels good to get it out here too.
Pictures are coming this morning. I took some yesterday because I knew I needed to update them. I posted them to my profile but I'll be photowhoring in about an hour :)
I love this post! Thanks everyone for sharing. I too am afraid to lose the hefty version of myself, because I'm not sure how well I'll identify with a smaller version. Plus, my weight is my self protection, my Glock, if you will. I'm afraid by being smaller, someone will think they can man handle me, throw me off a bridge or something. The things we fear.
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