Transfer addiction resources please

How do you know how much time they have in?  I can't tell who is 2 months from who is 2 years or 20 years.  How do you tell in 2 meetings who is working a program and who is just parotting the lines?

I need a sponsor now. 

~Becky

It is OK to ask people who seem to have it together.... that your gut tells you that you want to be like them... how long they have in the program. It can be small talk over coffee.
You just get to know the people at the meetings you go to most regularly.
Not everyone finds a sponsor by their second meeting. You are highly motivated to be looking so seriously now. That is a really good thing, but it does make your search a little harder because you don't know people yet.

You use the same part of your gut feelings that told you that you needed help, to feel who is sincere and who is just parrotting lines. The fact that you asked this question shows that you are more aware than most. I understand that you are NOT trusting yourself right now, but I promise you that if you are looking for a good sponsor, one will turn up. Maybe not tomorrow, but soon.

In the meanwhile, it is perfectly OK to have a "temporary sponsor' while you are looking for one you can really feel comfortable with and work with.

Lisa

Lisa,

That is exactly what Tom (my ex) told me tonight.  I will go to the same meeting every night this week and try out some other meetings at noon and not rush into the picking a sponsor thing.  I want to hear what these women are about and find out how long they've been sober.

~Becky

HUGE HUGS!!!
I am so sorry to hear you are struggling... I dont really have any advice or suggestions just to say that I am thinking of you and hoping that you find comfort in the AA meetings and therapy...
I def see that this can happen to any of us...

Thank you Jody.  I'm doing well tonight. 

~Becky

Becky,

  I ready this thread once already, and didn't have anything that I thought could help you at all. I wanted to see how you were doing, so I checked to see what has been added on here since I last read it.

This post, the one to Jody, that you're doing well tonight, made me cheer. Out loud. Loud enough to wake the cat sleeping on the table next to me enough that he looked at me as if to say "what the hell are you thinking, cheering out loud at 11:35 at night?"

I don't know if it's getting through all of the hurt that you're feeling right now, but you've got some extra love vibes coming at you from "up north" here... I hope that you'll be able to feel it soon, if you can't yet.

Love yourself a little more each day, because god knows that we do! I wish I could just hold you for a while, barring the fact that we don't actually know each other. I really am aching to give you a healing hug right now.

Oh April.  What gratitude I have.  Your post made me cry.

I have so much support and love flowing towards me that it is amazing.

I have met someone on the addictions forum here who is helping me with logistical type stuff.  My boyfriend who hit me in the head with a 2x4.  My therapist who told me for the past month to stop buying the beer, my ex who has called me every day and accepted every call I've made to him and my children (both the 2 legged ones who talk back and the four 4 legged ones who lick tears quite well.)
I am going to be fine.  How could I not be fine with all this love around me?

I am grateful and very lucky.  I stopped this insanity before 3 months were even up.  The woman who spoke at the meeting tonight drank for what sounded like about 30 years!!!  I can't even imagine.

April, thank you for being so caring.  I love you for it.

~Becky

{{hugs}}

About once a year at Dr. Rabkin's San Francisco WLS monthly meeting the topic is Transfer Addictions.  I believe the presenter last year was Dr. Bill Hartman.  He referenced studies and literature through out his presentation so there should be some very specific help available to you.  I'll see if I can find any of my notes.

Let your doggies help too  You'll be so much better with them when you aren't working with a hangover or wanting to stop early and have a drink.  Your absolutely undivided attention will make a big difference.

I hope your chip gives you a helpful momento to make it through another day!

Thanks Tammy.  I would appreciate any info you can dig up.  I think that part of the equation is the difference in how I metabolize alcohol now.  I have not had a hangover since my WLS and I used to have HORRIBLE hangovers that would last 24 hours.  I could drink without impunity which just made it easier.

My dogs are a huge help.  I am going to be competing at a flyball tournamet the first weekend in December and I'm sure glad I won't be drinking.

~Becky