"Emaciated" they say.... (just venting)

I look like a deflated baloon! I'm wondering how long it will take before I know how much of the skin is going to shrink back, and if I'll need to have the slack chopped off

Give it a couple of years. Don't get in a hurry with that stuff.

Not to mention I plan on having a baby in the next 3 years, I figured I'd wait for plastics until after that if needed. No point in getting all nipped and tucked only to have a baby stretch everything back out.

A tiny insight from my undergrad neuropsych class:

If they are not usually nutso, then they're just in shock. Just like your brain needs time to learn to recognize new images of you, so do their brains. They have images of you stored in their gray matter hard drives, and those have to be replaced.

Now, YOUR brain sees you constantly, theirs only occasionally, so imagine what a brainbender  it is for them. The pertinent neurons are shrieking MISFIRE MISFIRE lol.

Unfortunately, when their brains get bent, they run their mouths. That sucks.

Here's hoping that they level out and you don't have to ***** slap them.

A better non-lie to tell them would be more along the lines of, "My doctors and I are extremely happy with my progress. I am being carefully monitored and all is well. Thanks for your concern. Please relax. I'm fine."

Another more direct thing, if you're so inclined: "I don't talk about your (mention some area of appearance that is hopefully silly to them, like FIL's bald head or something), so please, stop talking about my appearance. My body is not a topic for our conversation. Nice fall weather we've been having, eh?"

FWIW, in the first year or two, we CAN look really deflated. It takes time for things to redistribute and settle in.

Yeah, it's got to be shock. I love my in-laws, they're good eggs and very nice. This is really the only hitch I've run across with them and I'm a bit paranoid that it might go downhill from here.

MIL had a friend who was SMO who had gastric bypass about 14 years ago, I'm guessing she had a RNY, and this friend of hers had constant health problems as a result. She lost a lot of weight, but she was always sickly and having some sort of health problem. It's not clear if this woman wasn't compliant, or if she was suffering from complications. Anyway, my MIL is probably comparing my fussy tummy (largely thanks to the crap she tries to feed me) with some of the problems her friend has, and always looking for signs that I'm getting sickly.

I should probably mention that my MIL is a lousy cook. Whenever I stay over for the weekend there's always tough chicken on the menu that is guaranteed to make me puke.

I've offered many times to do the cooking for everyone while I'm there, so everyone is happy and I'm not forced to eat food that may make me sick or lack enough protein. I'm going to talk with the hubs about pushing this issue.

That's what I've finally done for this coming Christmas. I WILL BE THE COOK for as long as it takes. My paranoid inlaws are worrying at me about putting too much fat in the food. Um, folks, I *do* know how to cook, and besides, even if my creations contain more fat than the crap you serve up year after year, it's like THREE meals. Your arteries will not clog.

I finally got sick of being sick for days after every visit there. Plus we just cannot afford to exchange gifts this year. So this is our gift for everyone. I can do a LOT better than purchased mashed potatoes and steamed brussels sprouts, folks. (Fortunately they have never yet mangled the standing rib roast LOL.)

This year the potatoes will be baby redskins mashed by my own tender hands and nicely infused with butter TYVM. And there will be a proper reduction sauce for the beef, not the "au jus" that's just drained off the platter. Eeee gads. Seasonings will be done with FRESH herbs, not the same damned dead crap out of years old bottles. And I will have all the butter sauce my gizzards need to be happy.

My SIL who usually does the big holiday dinners is in poor health, so thankfully she was DELIGHTED at my offer to cook. I had anticipated a struggle.

Who buys prepared mashed potatoes? Why not eat a bucket of spackle, it's the same thing. They might complain about all the fat in the meantime, but I guarantee they're going to be stuffing their faces with delight- which means they won't be talking and that's a good thing! With you whipping up the meal, I'm pretty sure its going to be one of the best holiday dinners of their life.

I've run into problems with MIL not listening when it comes to what to keep around the house when I'm around so there's something to eat. She doesn't need to go out of her way, just have some extra soft protein around for me to eat: a couple containers of chobani, and some kind of meat softer than chicken. I've told her a million times that dry chicken- especially chicken breast- makes me sick as a ******g dog. Add tomatoes or tomato sauce to the list, because lately I've been getting a lot of acid reflux whenever I've eaten it.

What was on the menu last weekend? Chicken breast burritos and lasagna (very bland lasagna at that). While she used tomato sauce in moderation with the lasagna, it was still enough to give my stomach hell.

Oy...

The last time we visited she got the cheapest london broil in the world, all sinew. I puked up the sinew. Tough, try, and flavorless grilled chicken breast was on the menu as well. Luckily we brought up some delightful veal hot dogs from a Ukrainian butcher, so I had some edible protein that weekend. We also grabbed a batch of protein monster shakes from a convenience store- while carby, it was the only fast protein I could get my hands on.

There was another weekend where she let me cook one of the dinners. I made a kick ass meat, cheese and veggie calzone, granted all I ate was the calzone filling, but it was much better than leathery chicken breast with no seasoning.

I think I'm going to have to leave a batch of my shake powder up at her house going forward if she doesn't let me do the cooking more often.

Granted, they buy the taters from a catering restaurant, but still..... *eyeroll*

MIL has some pretty severe chronic pain issues (bladder stuff) that she believes are helped by a low oxalate diet, but it's not real clear if it helps. Nonetheless, it helps her OCD anxiety to adhere to that diet. so I'll do so. I have done very careful research to see what seasonings and everything are acceptable :-).

I have to admitt the many times that I have been on the weightloss rollercoaster... people were saying that I was getting 'TOO Skinny'... at that point I was 195... the funny thing is everyone else can get smaller and lose weight but if you do... then its a problem... its like they are afraid about how YOUR weightloss will effect THEM.... Hilarious

OMG Girl .. my mother just said that to me last week.  I t hurt my feelings so bad I cried.  I feel so self concious now.  I am so sorry you are going through this.  I always say when I was SMO no one would have said.  You look like a BIG FAT WHALE...and felt OK with it...  Stay strong!