She saved my life
As many know I am a horse nut. They are my children and so much more to me.
Well Tuesday I had to do one of the hardest things I will ever have to do in my life. I had to put my dear Thoroughbred mare to sleep. With the loss of her I not only lost my baby girl but the reason I am still here today.
I got her back in Jan of 04 from a rescue. She just was something different, and had been looked over many times because of some damage from her recent racing past. I knew that damage would take her life eariler than it should. But within a couple months of owning her, she attatched herself to me so that I was the only person she wholeheartedly trusted. During the first 6 months of owning her I started to realize I would die before she did if I didnt get a hold of my weight. Yes I bought her knowning I would never beable to ride her because I was too big (I will NEVER make a horse carry over 280lbs & I was 376 at the time). But I was able to ride her about a year after my DS of which she is the reason I ever pursued surgery, but she preferred I was her mom and my sister was her rider She was ride able till Winter 2008. But once that damage gained true hold it was down hill. This spring I knew no matter how hard I worked and did everything I could to save her "leg", she would have to be put down. She had a great summer, she was allowed to get her way about everything (always respectable tho). But the down turn in weather caused her down turn and fast. So in the course of 24 hrs I had to make this decision and it was not easy. I cried many tears this past spring because I knew our time was comming to an end.
Through these last 7.5 years together, she gave me what I needed to gain control. I was there for her and she was for me. Through all the ups and downs. But I know she knew it was ok to finally let go, we both helped each other through. Everyone laughed at how much we were alike. Stoic to the point that Drs got mad at me for saying im alright even when things were bad and I would get mad at her for always fighting through everything when she was clearly in pain (such as refusing stall rest, she would take down the barn if we left her in).
Well once asleep, I just looked at her....and she looked happy. And I felt relieved. She helped me kept me going, and I did the same for her. Now that my life is really going in a way I want it to, I feel she let me know it was time to let go because I would drop everything for her. I really have put my life on hold to care for her more and more the past 2 years.
Its still painful but I am at peace and I know she is running around with my old dog who loved her dearly too (with a host of other animals we had).
Rest in peace my big beautiful mare, your "boys" miss you already. I will always miss you, you were my baby girl, my hero, my best companion and my therapist.
Backfire (aka Girlie, Big Mare, Momma)
4/16/1996- 10/18/2011
Well Tuesday I had to do one of the hardest things I will ever have to do in my life. I had to put my dear Thoroughbred mare to sleep. With the loss of her I not only lost my baby girl but the reason I am still here today.
I got her back in Jan of 04 from a rescue. She just was something different, and had been looked over many times because of some damage from her recent racing past. I knew that damage would take her life eariler than it should. But within a couple months of owning her, she attatched herself to me so that I was the only person she wholeheartedly trusted. During the first 6 months of owning her I started to realize I would die before she did if I didnt get a hold of my weight. Yes I bought her knowning I would never beable to ride her because I was too big (I will NEVER make a horse carry over 280lbs & I was 376 at the time). But I was able to ride her about a year after my DS of which she is the reason I ever pursued surgery, but she preferred I was her mom and my sister was her rider She was ride able till Winter 2008. But once that damage gained true hold it was down hill. This spring I knew no matter how hard I worked and did everything I could to save her "leg", she would have to be put down. She had a great summer, she was allowed to get her way about everything (always respectable tho). But the down turn in weather caused her down turn and fast. So in the course of 24 hrs I had to make this decision and it was not easy. I cried many tears this past spring because I knew our time was comming to an end.
Through these last 7.5 years together, she gave me what I needed to gain control. I was there for her and she was for me. Through all the ups and downs. But I know she knew it was ok to finally let go, we both helped each other through. Everyone laughed at how much we were alike. Stoic to the point that Drs got mad at me for saying im alright even when things were bad and I would get mad at her for always fighting through everything when she was clearly in pain (such as refusing stall rest, she would take down the barn if we left her in).
Well once asleep, I just looked at her....and she looked happy. And I felt relieved. She helped me kept me going, and I did the same for her. Now that my life is really going in a way I want it to, I feel she let me know it was time to let go because I would drop everything for her. I really have put my life on hold to care for her more and more the past 2 years.
Its still painful but I am at peace and I know she is running around with my old dog who loved her dearly too (with a host of other animals we had).
Rest in peace my big beautiful mare, your "boys" miss you already. I will always miss you, you were my baby girl, my hero, my best companion and my therapist.
Backfire (aka Girlie, Big Mare, Momma)
4/16/1996- 10/18/2011
DS Aug 15th,2005 @ goal, living life and loving it.
"An Arabian will take care of its owner as no other horse will, for it has not only been raised to physical perfection, but has been instilled with a spirit of loyalty unparalleled by that of any other breed."
I'm so sorry for your loss, it must be very difficult. Be sure to rely on others for their support and try to remember all the good times you gave her. Best, Lisa
HW / SW / CW / GW 299 / 287 / 160 / 140 Feb '09 / Mar '09 / Dec '13 /Aug '10
Appendicitis/Bowel Obstruction Surgery 8/21/10
Beat Hodgkin's Lymphoma! 7/15/2011 - 1/26/2012 
Ran Half-Marathon 10/14/2012
First Pregnancy, Due 8/12/14 I LOVE MY DS!!!
Nicole, I'm so sorry for your loss. She's a beautiful, sweet girl. I'm an equine fanatic too and also believe that animals are some of the best therapists. I'm a therapist myself by trade and have used equine therapy and seen the miraculous results it produces. One session of equine therapy can often do more than 5 sessions of traditional talk therapy. I appreciate you sharing your story because it really drives home the power that animals have to change/influence our lives. Sometimes they give us a reason to go on when there seems to be no other. I'm glad she's now at peace and grateful for the wonderful years you had to share with her. I'm sure there will be tears involved, but give yourself permission to grieve. It really is like losing a family member. I believe sometimes our animals offer even more support/love than our family members! I'm sending prayers and well wishes your way that you'll have comfort and a sense of peace in time.
Warmest wishes,
Lisa
Warmest wishes,
Lisa
HW 293, SW 282, LW (Post RNY) 202, SW Pre-DS 242, CW 219 GW 140
Julie from Ludington, MI is my Angel!
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