Questioning: A good way to drive yourself bonkers!

I'm sure I've posted similar ideas in other threads, but I tend to obsess, so humor me while I hammer out my thoughts here.  Thanks guys. 

After an appt. with my psychiatrist yesterday, my little voice of questioning has only grown louder. My psychiatrist was going through the whole "surgery is serious/permanent" schpeel and wanting me to try harder to exercise, cut out the sugar, figure out the reason I stop exercising after a few weeks, as I've done in the past, etc. She also said I'm young and not really that obese; by comparison to someone's idea of what obesity looks like, I don't fit that image, yet anyway.  She was also concerned that with such a big surgery and rearrangement of my guts that I might encounter other problems.

As much as I don't want to admit it, she only voiced concerns I've already had and played over and over and over in my head for months now.  With that said, I am going to buckle down one last time and give it my gusto-- exercise and cut out the sugar, things I need to do regardless of whether or not I have surgery. I want to feel completely comfortable with my decision to have surgery.  If I seriously make this final attempt to establish lifestyle changes, which I will need to do with surgery anyway, I feel like I will have done my part.  I will have my answer. Thanks again for listening guys.

That is an excellent idea. Do whatever you need to do so that when you move forward with surgery, you KNOW it's what you must do in order to beat morbid obesity.

That being said, hey, LOTS of people start and stop exercise routines all the time. If the structured routine route isn't something you can embrace, do something else. Go dancing (take some ballroom dance lessons to get started; it's wonderful fun and you meet lots of new people). Volunteer to work horses at a stable where they have a therapeutic riding program. Become a Big Sister and make getting out and moving around part of your commitment to your youngster. Get a dog and go do obedience/agility training/trials. Learn to bowl by joining a league.

There are LOADS of ways to work more movement into your life. Connecting it to socializing and doing good things in the world makes it less like exercise and more like being a normal person :-).

HOWEVER!!!!! I will insert my standard caveat that it's possible this psychiatrist has her own weight biases. She might be anti surgery. She might be a fat bigot. She might have her own body issues. Sort out YOUR stuff and make sure she's not projecting HER stuff on to you and messing with your head. Happens all the time.

Unfortunately, I had to delete this post due to privacy concerns.

Sigh,
I wouldnt push surgery on anyone.  You're therapist is correct. It is a life altering choice, and one you have to be really ready to make.  If you have any doubts, you shouldn't do it.

That being said, you know the statistics on the number of morbidly obese people that are able to maintain their weight through diet and exercise?  It's something like only 3%.  I hope you are part of that 3% and I dont want to discourage you, but chances are you're not.  And even if you are, that path still is life changing - meaning you have to entirely change your lifestyle.  You have to be prepared for hours of exercing, meal planning, - a life time of a diet.

I think your therapist is approaching this from a psychological point of view, and not a clinical one.  I doubt she is that well versed in obesity causes and treatments.

I'm glad you're doing some soul searching on what you want to do.  My best advice is to take what your therapist said as her opinion, consider it with all the other information you have, and decide what you think is best for you.  Just because she gave you advice doesnt mean you go directly from hearing it to abiding by it.  You gather it as more information and part of the whole package of information you have, before you decide what to do.

 

Thanks guys.  Like I said, she merely reiterated what has been on my mind.  It doesn't mean she's right or wrong, and you're right Joanne, it's just information that I can mull over.  In the long run, I think I will feel better about my decisions if I set the foundation for better habits right now, especially when it comes to walking and just getting my body moving.  And who needs sugar anyway? Normies don't and neither do post-ops.  Sugar just wreaks havoc on my already insulin wonky system.

Honey, if diets worked, there wouldn't be an obesity epidemic, nor would there be a multi-billion
dollar diet industry in the US. Do what you have to do to get what you want.

Yes, do the diet changes and increase exercise; I did that pre-op and was very happy with results,
but it took me almost six months to lose 30#. I did my surgery on 6/20/2005, and at my post-op
weigh-in I'd lost 30#. For me, that was "Case Closed" for whether the surgery was effective.

Do your research, even the "Failed" and "Deceased" sites, just to make sure you know what
you're getting into, and make up your own mind about whether you're ready to devote the rest
of your life to getting and staying healthy.

Hugs,

Thanks, Lynn.  I'm challenging my body to see if it can budge any weight and see if it wants to keep that weight around by gaining it right back! Honestly, it has been years since I've lost any weight and for the most part I gave up trying.  No matter what, though, I won't let years go staying obese, I'll know soon enough what I must do.  I'm not giving up on my health!

Well, without the surgery, you'd probably quit dieting, just like we all do. The surgery makes sure you CAN'T quit!!

I decided to do protein first, cut all white foods (rice, pasta, bread, and potatoes), and walk
at least 30 minutes a day. I started slowly, at 15 min. daily, and worked my way up to about 45 minutes.

I found that finding a protein powder I could use (especially a low or zero carb one) was key; by using the increased protein I was able to keep from being hungry. Very important! It took some exploration, and I had some really yucky ones, but I eventually found that the Isopure Ultra Low Carb Dutch Chocolate or the Zero Carb Vanilla were pretty good. Also, try the Syntrax Nectar samples which can give some great flavor changes. I keep the Lemon Tea and the Cappuccino flavors on hand all the time.

Good luck!

My first thought was that this doctor wouldn't have been doing her job unless she brought this up at some point so you wouldn't regret it later thinking you hadn't fully thought it out. I don't know how young you are but you sound mature and like this isn't new for you. You see what direction your weight is going for you and it doesn't get better over time in most cases.
 
I had tried the lifestyle changes over & over with going to the gym and Weigh****chers ad naseum and at some point you have to realize your metabolism isn't the same as thin people either. I certainly would appreciate her concerns but you obviously are better informed than she is by reading here enought to know this is probably the best thing you can do to resolve this issue and live a normal life.

I don't know how old you are. I just keep thinking that I wish my weight had never gotten to this point, but the reality is that it did, it has, and this is my life now. I was 217 when I thought it was time for DRASTIC ACTION and got the band, and now I am 310. Since that time not only did I try working the band, but various diets, weigh****chers etc. I lost 17 lbs painstakingly following weigh****chers and exercising, but it too me like forever and I was MISERABLE. It's my opinion that what most obese people experience when they diet is *not* the same thing as what a normal weight person experiences when they cut back a little bit. Our bodies have decided what weight they want to be, and they fight like tooth and nail to keep us there. It's not only our choices, it's the choices our bodies are telling us to make... if that makes any sense at all. It is hard to fight that.

Whatever you decide, take your time and make sure it is the right choice for you!