During surgery....

"What do you think you might want from your husband while you are in surgery and recovery? How about once you are in your room? What are you imagining? " 

Thanks Elizabeth, this is a really good question!  

We have decided to leave her with her Grandma the day of, btw, so don't worry about that.  She knows (and has known for some time) that I am going to have an operation to help me be healthier.  

As for my husband... well he is just wonderful support.  I don't expect him to do a thing except be there for me and maybe get me ice chips when I'm allowed to have them.  Hold my hand while I do laps.  That kind of thing.  :)  

I do think she can handle a visit and she is the type of child who will get really upset at not seeing me.  Dr. E says 1-3 days in hospital and I'm hoping for the shorter end of that!   (But not counting my discharge before I walk out the door, so to speak.) 

That is awful that the staff was not attentive to you, I'm sorry you went through that.  I am pretty mobile and usually am pretty good at speaking up for myself, but not sure what I'll be feeling like post-op.  I don't remember much of the post-op period from my band except asking for pain medicine.  

I had my band with Rumbaut in Monterrey and my DS with Keshishian in Delano.  Both hospitals catered to a primarily Mexican demographic....one in Mexico, one in a farm-worker heavy town.

Mexicans don't "send" family members to the hospital.  They "accompany" them to the hospital.  (I'm only part Mexican, but my hospital gene is 100% Mexican.)  I have memories from over 50 years ago of a veritable army of older lady relatives in black dresses and red lipstick with rosaries in hand, parked FIRMLY in the hospital waiting room, when my mother was having surgery. 

So both of those hospitals, Monterrey, Mexico, and Delano, California, had a place for a family member to sleep in an otherwise private room.  Monterrey had a couch that could hold a sleeping hubby and Delano had a built-in Murphy bed.  My husband spent one night with me in Monterrey and two nights in Delano, and left me alone when he knew I could fend for myself.  (And because I threw his ass out so he could get ONE night's sleep and be up to being my caregiver the next day.)

 I had my band with Dr. Rumbaut also!  I had a great experience in the hospital there, although one day his service dropped me off at a reading center for special needs children instead of the hospital to get checked out!!!!  I just remember sitting there and trying to explain to the lady what happened.  I only know a tiny bit of spanish.  

I love the army of older ladies parking firmly in the waiting room!  That's just wonderful :) 

I agree with what others have said - leave your daughter with Grandma. Hubby needs to be at the hospital - not only for your support, but for himself too. Even though it can be stressful waiting, he will want to be there to get the word that every thing went well and that you are resting in the recovery room.
As far as in the hospital afterwards...EN's situation happens way too often, if not your entire stay, then a shift or two. I'm a nurse, and I know that there are overworked, bad nurses out there. Just like ANY job - there are good and bad. I had great care where I was, but my husband stayed the entire time - he went home to take a shower and came back. It didn't bother me that he was there, he worked on the laptop while I slept. I probably got better care because he was able to notice things faster than they would have and was able to call them in. Also, I had him there to help me up to the bathroom and to get up to walk so I didn't have to wait for the nurses and aides to come help me.
Lisa

 Thanks for the feedback everyone, it helps to hear from those who've been there done that!!!  

I'm assuming you're having your surgery at Fairfax? Granted my surgery was 9 years ago but I had a horrible experience with the nursing staff. I also didn't have a 24/7 advocate so that could have helped fuel the situation. A friend took me to the hospital and stayed during my surgery and I had various friends visit. My sister came the day I was discharged and stayed at home with me for a week. She lives out of town and couldn't do both so we felt it was more important she stay with me after I was discharged.

I didn't sleep for the entire time I was in the hosptal. I had very severe sleep apnea and needed my cpap (which I brought). Unfortunately I had an NG tube in so I couldn't use the cpap. It was a nightmare. I was ignored by the staff and barely seen by Dr. E.

I think I was in the hospital 3 days (2 nights) which was 2 nights too many for me. I've been at Fairfax a few times since and nothing has changed.

You just need to make sure you have an advocate who can speak for you.

 Gah!  This has been my impression of Fairfax hospital and one thing I was worried about.  :(  Thank you for your honesty, and if you have any other tips to make the stay there smoother I would appreciate it.  If it's such a crappy hospital why does he even operate there?  Fair Oaks is so close and seems so nice.  

I am thinking I probably won't be able to use my cpap after surgery either... It is a nose only mask and I just can't see how it will work with the other stuff going on on my face.  My apnea is pretty mild thankfully.  

Ugh I hope I don't wind up with the NG tube (but I probably will, due to my band).   I wish I had a tough *****y friend I could bring with me!  My husband is sometimes way way too sweet and patient!  

I think he does Fairfax because his office is right there in Vienna, its a huge tramua center and has a great reputation (it really does). I've been to both Fairfax and Fair Oaks, and they both suck (at least that's been my experience). I know other people who have had a great experiences at Fairfax.

I would bring the c-pap just in case. I think my situation was worse because I was so exhausted from the surgery and the lack of sleep. My sleep apnea was very severe (fortunately all gone now)!

I'm sure you'll do fine.

 Janet, thank you!  I will definitely bring my cpap and try to use it.  I have the worst time with it at home though.  :(  I am really hoping that after I lose some weight I don't need it anymore.  

I was born at Fairfax hospital so that should count for something good, right? :) 

Ah yes, then there was the ICU nurse who stuffed my CPAP mask onto my face over my oxygen canula rather than to go find the right kind of tube to connect it to my bleeder gadget that I had thoughtfully brought with me for my mask....Um, because I USED OXYGEN WITH CPAP ALWAYS and this was ON MY PAPERWORK AND DOCTOR ORDERED.

Thus began the lovely open wound on the bridge of my nose that stayed for many, many months, was clear to the bone at times, and that will immediately recur five years later if I use a standard nose mask.

Her reasoning? "Oh, we're giving you lots and lots of oxygen so you don't need your CPAP, you'll be fine." Um, so why the FUCK do my alarms keep going off every time I doze off? And why do I keep waking myself with the classic choke-cough-jerk of an apnea episode, with a nice little howl of pain due to my fresh incision, every minute or two?

Yeah, they found the ******g equipment for my second day in ICU, after former housemate mobilized the pulmonologist in charge of critical care (and of my case). Too late for my nose wound issue.....Oh, and did they do ANYTHING to mitigate that little problem? Nah, it was "just a little blister that would heal right up." 

*snarl*