How do you get your spouse on board?

I did gave him facts and we spent a lot of time talking about our feelings about these facts. He trusted me to make a decision that was for the best for us all. He has since stood by me no matter what and has been my biggest support. It's a process like any other major life decision.
If you are a praying couple, do that as well.

 I haven't had mine yet.  In the beginning, my husband was all for it.  Then I guess he got to thinking about things, because I've talked to him about how people's relationships change, some in a good way, some not so good. Then when I was trying to scare my own self out of having surgery (just to see if I could...I figured if I could scare myself away, then I wasn't ready for it), I got really upset about Stephanies death, and read the memory board, and then HE got upset and worried.  Now, although he knows that I'll listen to his opinion, he is fully aware that it's just not up to him to decide HOW I want to live.  He loved me thinner, he loves me fat, so he'll love me skinny too.  He's a long lanky type, so he's NEVER known what it's like to be fat.

My doc put it to me and my husband best......she said I had a choice.  I MIGHT could live ten more years--and they way things were looking, that was a big IF---or I could make the choice to have the surgery, lose the weight, lose the diabetes, joint pain, sleep apnea etc, and live 30+ years.  It was just simple.  Sometimes I just need to be hit in the head with a frying pan of facts.  If your doc supports you, get him/her to talk to your wife, and have her get the facts....pit her facts against yours if necessary.....

 Shawn,

I know exactly where you're coming from.  My wife is very skeptical.  I show her all of the excellent examples of success (via the vets) and also the examples of what happens when someone isn't mindful of their new internal arrangements and ends up with the consequences.  She wants me to reconsider the VSG.  I have spoken with 3 bariatric surgeons, 2 of whom perform the DS, and every single one recommended that I "try" the VSG before "committing" to the DS.  One of them went on to say something to the effect that he wouldn't totally eliminate the DS as an option, but that I'd need to committ (obviously) to the postop lifestyle not only the medical and dietary changes but the psychological as well.  

The choice is clearly yours... having a partner to be involved along the way is a clear help (as others have attested to!).  Hopefully, your (and my) wife will get there with you!

Let me try to use my psychic powers and guess that you've talked to Smith and Maynard. :eyeroll:

Have you asked them whether you can expect as good results doing the DS in two parts as you would getting it done at once?  Whether if there was 18 months or longer between surgeries, you might need a RESLEEVE as well as the switch in order to get good results, making the second surgery even more dangerous than a virgin DS?

Let's see - committing to the required psychological changes: (1) with a VSG, facing dieting for the rest of your life, EVEN assuming you get even remotely close to your goal weight, and living in fear of nearly inevitable regain down the road; vs (2) with a DS, getting to enjoy eating a high fat, high protein diet, with far less guilt, fear and hunger, and losing the unnatural relationship you've had with food most of your life.

Sorry, not seeing the advantage to the VSG., especially if your BMI >45, or if you have or are headed for comorbidities, especially metabolic ones.

 You're half right:  Smith and Kemmetter in MI.  I think Smith has good surgical experience but his followup seems lacking.  I've been going to his support groups - for the most part they tell me what I already know.  Most of the people there are preops trying to get their numbers to have surgery.  I did meet one vet DS there (5 years out) and she was a wealth of info.

I did not specifically ask the "is two surgeries as good as one" question regarding the delay of the intestinal "switch"  and the less effective nature.  I spoke to them both rather early on in my data collection and didn't really know to ask that.  However, after reading more and more here it seems that there is a cumulative effect with the complete DS performed rather than sleeve then "switch."  When I was talking with them it seemed like I would have a proverbial bullet left in my chambers that if I needed the switch I could get it later on.  I completely agree that as a virgin abdomen the entire surgery would be MUCH easier than facing potential (likely) adhesions, etc.

Regarding the psychological changes I completely agree with you!  I've felt like the VSG would set me up for life-long dieting - my wife's thoughts: "So you could learn to eat as you should've been all these years."  Where I can see somewhat of a point with her comment - I feel much more at ease with the DS diet.  I've done well previously on low carb diets.  In fact, I've started a low carb "diet" for about 6 weeks now and have little difficulty (seeing the wife's carbed out snacks is tricky - temptation...).

My BMI is over 45.  I have a family history that is littered with comorbidities (I only have OSA at this point).  All of these combined = me really feeling the DS is the appropriate choice.  I'm continuing to gather information to be able to speak intelligently about the DS and to have the complete picture so that I will be ready to become a post-op DSer and not only be successful, but safe!

Many thanks to you and all the vets for all of their posts, information, and experience.

Luckily for me my wife was supportive of my choice to have the DS surgery. What I did was take her to several local support group meetings. She get to know people that had the DS and hear their stories and that did the trick!

I did the same thing as Butch, took my DH to a couple of DS support group meetings, that sold him.

I hated taking him to my dietician appts, surgeon appts, etc, all he would do is tell them how horrible I was at following a "diet" and didn't think I would be able to follow the DS "diet". I was always so embarrassed.  Once he went to the support groups, he found out that these other skinny people had the exact same difficulty with "diets" that I had and were maintaining or losing weight, he was sold.

He still doesn't completely understand the DS or the DS way of life ( he doesn't take the time to do any research or understands what I try to explain to him), he does support me.

Good luck, and please consider only being cut once!

Thanks everyone for your support, I'm just going to keep giving her research info and hopefully It will sink in. I am having a DS regardless of her support, it would just be easier if she was on board.
Thanks again
Shawn