How do you get your spouse on board?

I'm sold on the DS but my wife thinks it is crazy. She only thinks about the chance I die in the OR. I have  diabetes, sleep apnea, fatty liver and High cholesterol. I have tried to explain that I will probably die if I don't do the surgery. She thinks I should continue to try to diet and if I'm hungry just don't eat. I have been lurking here for a month or better and need some advice.
Thanks in advance,
Shawn

Have her read posts here - perhaps pick out a few good ones for her.  And have her read dsfacts.com.  Diet and exercise have a >95% failure rate for those who are morbidly obese, and I believe that a doctor who doesn't recommend bariatric surgery to a patient who is MO is committing malpractice.

I faced a bit of this resistence from my husband - at the time, we had been married less than 5 years, I was nearly 50, and he had never seen me diet - and to succeed and then fail, multiple times.  He didn't get it.  He felt I was looking for a "magic pill" and would fail without "learning how to control my diet."  Being a scientist, I was able to rebut his arguments, but did not dispell his concerns completely until he saw the results.

He still has some concerns, 8 years later, but now they are more that I spend too much time online spreading the word about the DS. :-)

Either way, my main point for you is that, in the end, it is YOUR life that you are living, not your wife's life.  She doesn't know what it is like to live in your body, or in your head.  This is not something crazy - it is a medical treatment with - as with all medical treatments, as well as with doing NOTHING - some risks, but the assessment of risks balanced against potential rewards is YOURS to make when all is said and done.

I gave my husband stuff to read about the surgery and some statistics about its safety. I also gave him some posts to read about how people post-DS are living and feeling so NORMAL. That is really what appeals to me about this surgery, the lifestyle post-op seems to give you a more normal quality of life than any other option. I'm sorry she's being so dismissive but maybe you should tell her... "don't dismiss me. I am not a weak person! This is impossible to do. I want to live healthy for the rest of our time together!"

That would have broken my heart if I got all the info for my husband and he suggested I go on a diet. UGH!!! I'm so sorry.

Thanks for your kind words, I'm an RN so I have some background, I have shown her tons of info and have done hours of research. I have shown her numerous picture. I ve told her that this will save my life. We have 4 boys that need their dad around. I told her that I'm going to do this but would like her to be there for support. Fortunately I have a lot RN friends that will help me.
Thank you for your support

I believe Ron was the hardest one for me to tell that I wanted to have WLS. Of course I couldn't tell anyone else until I told him. I agonized over it. He was, as your wife, worried I would die on the table. Even now that my surgery is next week he is worried for me. I just had to keep reassuring him that this is what I needed to do for me and that doing so will give us many more years together. I needed to make him see the prize at the end also. I made sure I had researched the a lot and had the knowledge I needed to reassure him.Go to a seminar with her to a reputable DS surgeon and make all of your appointments so she can go also. She will come around. Just keep reassuring her that this is what you need to have a healthy/happy life.

My hubby was dead set against it. In fact, he threatened to divorce me if I did it. It was all pure terror of losing me. What turned him around was #1 .I was doing it any way and #2. he started doing research to try to convince me not to, and in the process, he realized how awesome the DS was, and how it changed lives!

Shawn,

As a father of 2, I can relate. I can tell you that my wife was worried and skeptical as well. Now, in only 9 months, I am 205 pounds lighter, and my wife has never been happier. I am a better husband, a better father, and physically and mentally healthier than I have ever been.

It was the best thing we ever did for our family!

I had the same problem. "Just try harder" was my DH's favorite line. He is MO but has never seriously TRIED to lose weight. He fought me for awhile, but then I took him to see a DS surgeon. He listened but still wasn't convinced. Then, I sat him down and told him I was doing it...and miraculously, he is now on board. Stay the course- only you can decide what is best for you.

I said facts. My husband said diet and exercise. For a year and a half I did every single diet and exericise. WW, atkins, pills, gym, curves, worked out two times a day. I lost 80 lbs and then in one summer regained 30 lb. I knew I coudlnt' do it by my self and he saw how hard I tried. He never fully supported me but trusted my decision. It wasn't ideal but it was all I needed. My mother went with me while my hubby stayed home and took care of the kids.

He loved me at 370 and loves me at 160 my husband really doesn't care what size I am but I think he knows I'm happier healthy.

So I guess I'm saying don't expect 100 %, take what you can get. lol.