How to decide to make the plunge?

Hi ev1. I have been all over this site for the last week or so and I have read so much great information. I have learned so much.

I have an initial appointment with a surgeon in 2 weeks. I am having such a hard time deciding if this is really the right choice. I have PCOS and have tried everything to lose weight. The most I have ever lost was 30 pounds and that was with diet drugs and hardly eating. Of course it came right back plus more.  I have tried every diet out there and have never lost more than a few pounds despite everything. My doctor told me last week that he thinks WLS would really benefit me.

I am worried that I will regret doing this in the long run when there is no going back. I am 5'2" and 220 pounds. I have spent over 10 years off and on trying to lose weight and come right back to this same weight every time. Almost like my body says this is where I should be and I have to fight it so hard to weigh anything less.

So how do you finally make the decision to have surgery?  Anyone truly regret it? 

For me, it was simple. I was dying.

I was at the point where the pain of staying the same outweighed the pain of change. I hope it doesn't take you as long as it took me.

Hi KarinV.

WLS is a very personal choice.  Honestly I don't think anybody can make that decision for you.  

I battled my weight issues off and on my entire life.  Technically I was born obese at 9 pounds 7 ounces.  As I grew older, more and more health issues developed...including PCOS.  At over 300 pounds I had trouble walking up and down stairs because of pain in my joints (pre-mature arthritis) and shortness of breath.  I knew I had to do something about my weight or my life would be shortened.  That's when I began to research various WLS's.  My doctors had told me to diet and exercise many times over the years only to fail every time.  I had to fight my insurance companies and it took me several years before I was able to get the DS.  

I'm still far from goal, but at 100+ pounds lighter the physical aspects of my life alone have improved so much.  I can tie my shoes without getting out of breath, I can walk up and down stairs without pain, my back don't hurt as bad, I get less migraines, my blood pressure is no longer high, my PCOS symptoms have improved (although not gone), my husband shows me more attention, my kids (ages 11 to 25) say they are proud of me, I can go shopping all day without getting tired, I can fit in a booth at a restaurant, I'm beginning to buy "regular" sized clothing, people I haven't seen in a while don't recognize me and when they realize it's me give me complements, the list really goes on and on.  I LOVE my DS...and my journey is still new compared to a lot of people on these boards.  I feel like I eat all the time and this has been easy for me compared to diets I've been on in the past...but it's not a "free ride".  Still, I would do it again if I had to.

I suggest doing your research (like you are now) and do some "soul searching".  You will make the right decision for you.  Keep us updated on your decision!

~Roxy

 KarinV, I am 5 feet 1 inches tall.  I have PCOS as well and weighed 237 lbs at the time of my surgery.  I tried every diet as well and after torturing myself for years about my weight I made the decision that it was time for the DS.  I felt that it was the right choice for me with everything I have in me.  It took me 5 long long years to convince my husband that it was the right choice.  I am barely two months out now and weigh 197 lbs as of this morning.  I feel fantastic, great energy every day.  You need to come to your own conclusion, but my advice is that once you know what you want do not let ANYONE stop you from what you need to do for your own health.

Thank you for the replies. I appreciate hearing from others with PCOS that have been through the same things I have.
I guess I am just torn between the "maybe if I just work harder" approach rather than the surgery but I already feel like I would fail AGAIN.  I am anxious to see the surgeon in a couple of week and see what happens there. I know I am already sold on the DS over any other surgery. I think the surgeon I am seeing has tons of experience with it and looks pretty good to me from what I have read here about him. I think that is making the decision easier.
Thanks again for the replies!  

I was  PCOS "poster child," from very early menarche right up through my total hysterectomy at age 40 with a truly horrible colony of aliens (all benign growths, but totally destroyed "female parts") that had taken over my gut.

Another reason to not wait as long as I did. It was a pretty awful thing.

Oh yeah there's tons of us PCOSers who picked the DS, partially because we recognize that we have metabolic disorder and that food restriction won't do us any good to shed the weight (otherwise those damn diets would have worked, but we all know how that goes!)-- we need the permanent malabsorbtion to help compensate for our busted metabolisms.

I had the same problem with trying to loose weight the "conventional way" for 20 years; I ate right and worked out at the gym nearly every day to the point of exhaustion, and all it did was make me a fit morbidly obese person. That really pissed me off, I raced my skinny "toned" neighbor (who was a fitness freak) up 6 flights of stairs carrying a 30lb sack of laundry and WON-- and she only had a 20lb sack of laundry. I was pushing 270lbs at the time. Being the fattest and fittest person I knew sucked balls, it just wasn't fair.

For several years I even cut back to eating 1200 calories a day while working out 6 hours a week doing spinning, kickboxing, weight training all the while my doctors were hounding me "well if that's not working, you're either eating pizzas in the closet, or you're NOT DOING ENOUGH!".... First, the pizza in the closet comment really pissed me off (I fired that doc, btw).. But "not doing enough", WTF? What more could I possibly do short of: 1) Not eat at all, 2) Quit my job and hope for money to magically appear randomly in nature (or in my bank account) so that I could work out at the gym 24/7 and not have any financial consequences??

That was when I realized it wasn't about "what can I do to work harder..", I was already doing all I possibly and humanly could while holding a full-time job. The problem was clearly something medical, and sadly no doctors have any answers when it comes to PCOS and weight loss short of accusing the patient of having "lifestyle" issues that don't exist. WLS was the only thing I hadn't tried.

After wasting 20 years of my life eating right with caloric restriction and busting my obese butt at the gym I had no substantial or lasting weight loss to show for it, but compare that to the 100+ pounds I've lost in the first 9 months with the DS and I think you may be less conflicted on which course of action to consider.

I have seen PCOSers on other forums who opted for the RNY and had success, but the DS has much better stats for total weight lost, weight maintated many years post op (RNY carries signifgantly more statistical risk for regain and RH), no dumping, and the best quality of life when it comes to food and diet.

I know exactly what you mean. Right now I am trying to eat 1200 calories/day. I have been tracking my food and today I only ate 1115 calories.  That must have really sucked to have that doc doubt what you were doing. I have fired plenty of doctors in my time. The doctor that I have just started seeing is the first one to suggest WLS to me. I had one doctor tell me to just go to Weigh****chers. I did... 3 months into it I had lost a grand total of 4 pounds. I was religious about it too.

My mother made me so angry the other day when I called her to ask her opinion about all this. Her advice was that she could just tie me to the back of her car and have me run the 500 miles to where she lives.   I was sure to lose weight. Then she offered her advice on skipping orange juice because she was drinking 3 or 4 glasses a day and never realized how many calories there was in OJ (I haven't drank juice in years because I KNOW how many calories there is in it). Then she asked me if my husband was pushing me into this (he most definately isn't). I haven't talked to her since that conversation and it makes me angry just thinking about it. Of course she has always been skinny.

I feel the same about wasting years. I am turning 39 next week and spent my entire 30's and part of my 20's in the 200's. I am tired of it and am hoping to be well under 200 by the time I turn 40. I think I have already made my decision after hearing from so many of you and reading so many things here. I really do not want the RNY but had no idea about the DS until I came to these forums. I am sold on that over any other surgery. 

Thank you for sharing your experiences with me! I appreciate it.

If you are still at a place where you think you can still diet and exercise and lose, then do it. For me, I did one last diet, lost 80 lbs and regained 30 in 2 short months and I knew I couldn't do it by myself. I knew I was going to die young. I got a ds to save my life so I can see my grand children one day.

That is the thing. I know deep down that another diet wouldn't work. I had an appointment with my doctor a few days ago because he wanted to talk to me about weight loss. I sat there and listened to him tell me what I should or shouldn't be doing. Most of the things he told me I replied with "I already do that". I have cut out so much already, eat low carb, calories are low and I excercise... scale doesn't budge.
If I were to diet now it would have to be something drastic that I know I couldn't stick with forever so I know the weight would come back. I don't have a sweet tooth, I don't eat fast food, I don't drink soda and I LOVE vegetables. I eat healthy but it isn't enough. I lost 35 pounds last year but I did it with Phentermine and I was hardly eating at all. I had to force myself to eat a little something at dinner and usually then it was only a few bites. As soon as I stopped taking it I gained everything back quickly. Back to where I am now. The ups and downs are not good.