It's a great idea

I know!  I know!
Assume that every fart, gas bubble, menstrual cramp or twinge is a dire medical emergency, compounded by never-ending dehydration, and grace the doorstep of every emergency room within a 450 mile radius.    Then, when they all lock their doors when they see you coming, and you've posted incesssantly about it to anyone who will listen, wonder why anybody would dare to think you might have some type of mental disorder?

Did all these things really happen...Wow, I should have come on sooner, it's like a soap opera that you can tune into anytime you want.  Amazing!!

 Oh yup, they've all happened!