Why do "friends" say such sh*tty things?

I have a "friend" (and I use that term loosely and will probably not use it any longer with her) that told me today that she is preparing herself for my funeral because she just knows that I will commit suicide.  She said that my first weight loss surgery (the lap band) wasn't a real weight loss surgery and she knew I wouldn't succeed so she didn't worry about me but now that I've had a real surgery she's concerned because everyone that she's ever known that has had WLS has killed themselves because of it.  She says WLS messes with your mind and makes you crazy.  We live in a really small town (less than a 1000 people) and I know most of the same people she does and they didn't kills themselves.  Some of them did get depressed and some did die due to complications (mainly from not taking care of themselves properly) but that hardly represents everyone that's had WLS.

I'm ready to let this person go and move on with my life without them (it's no real loss to me) but it does bother me that she's telling other people this stuff.  I actually didn't even tell her I had it done, my brother, who lives in a handicapped assisted living facility that this person works in was talking to me about it over the phone and she overheard the conversation since we have to talk on speaker phone.  My brother is very concerned and I've had to talk to the head of the facility because he started living there when our mother died due to complications of obesity in January of 2010.  They said they would tell her that she's no longer allowed to discuss it with anyone, including my brother, but the damage is done there.

I just wonder what makes people be so hurtful, hateful, and stupid?  This is the same woman who called me fat all through high school (sometimes behind my back, sometimes to my face) and just can't believe that everyone is so mean to her daughter, who is overweight. 

I feel better just getting this out of my head, if you've read this far thanks so much because I understand there really isn't any answer to my question, it's just really, really sad to know that we live in a world where this type of discrimination is still accepted.

Abusive people are like that, they will always look for any excuse to put you down. And now that you'll be loosing weight from the surgery, she's just looking for some other reason to criticize you. Whether she does it for control or to make herself feel better (maybe both) it doesn't matter- any way you slice it she's not worthy of your friendship.

It sounds like you've already realized you're better off without this sort of person in your life. Even though she's talker it will come around to bite her in the ass.

I so agree about abusive people. It would be so much easier if they had to wear a sign to warn you they were there. LOL. I guess sometimes it just surprises me when someone shows their true colors and does something so classically abusive.

Hugs,
Ratkity

Ugh!...What a horrible woman. She should have lost her job over the privacy issue. I had someone like this in my life. Almost one year ago, she showed up at a recital I was hosting and openly made fun of me and my weight (she was in the audience, and was so loud that three rows of people complained to her about her comments) I absolutely dimissed this woman from my life. I live in a small community too. She saw me at a restaurant and tried to approach me, and I immediately shut her down. I wasn't obnoxious, but i sent her a strong message that she is not welcome in my space. I also sent her a letter, letting her no that she was no longer welcome in my life. I am ever so thankful that I had the courage to do that. Since then, she has moved on to other bait. I feel sorry for her. I believe in the law of the harvest: What you sow, you shall also reap. These miserable people will get their just reward. I don't even care to be around to see it. She is out of my life. Good Riddance!

Good luck with your own beast. I have no answers for her behavior because in a million years I couldn't think of a reason to be so cruel to another human being.

Sending you a big hug♥

Just had a "friend" thing happen to me also. Rid yourself from her now. I made sure I blocked mine from facebook and everywhere I could. Just let it roll off your back and continue on with your life as if she doesn't exist.

**like**

Eff that *****  Write her out of your life, and let her weep when you shed the pounds.  This chick is just a jerk - and jealous.  Is she overweight herself?   Want some passive agressive revenge?  Sign her up for free embarassing samples (depends, baby formula, etc.)   over and over.  I know it's petty - but you won't believe how good it feels.

 I also live in a small town in a rural area.    I moved here from a large metropolitan area.    I was very excited to be experiencing rural life in a scenically beautiful location.     The scenic part has been great, not having to deal with urban traffic and commuting has been great, but the IGNORANCE factor drives me nuts!    The chief goal of many of the inhabitants in this town is to have as many babies by as many different people humanly possible by their 19th birthday, and to score a job working at the local assisted living facility.    Printed pajama bottoms is the clothing option of choice.    College isn't even considered an option by many of them.   I know some people might consider this a generalization, but when you're dealing with this type of population, you're dealing with a culture of ignorance.    The chances are that this woman has never, not once, performed one bit of research on any aspect of this, or any WLS.    Your friend is only going by what she has formulated in her own pea-sized, ignorant little brain, or perhaps has seen on the Jerry Springer show. 

The only thing you can do is steadfastly chart your own course here.    The proof will be in the pudding.....your slim new figure and great health, so long as you follow the DS rules.   It's been hard for me to find friends in a town like this, but I've found a few.   That's probably why I'm on OH as much as I am!

Oh Julie!  I wish I lived closer so we could hang out.  You are one of my favorites to read on here and I really repect your advice. 

 Thank you!   And don't forget, at least I live in a beautiful scenic place to come visit me!!!!