My Mom Won't Support Me and Is Being Very Negative!

My ENTIRE family was like this.  "You're going to die" "You're butchering your body" "You're never going to be able to eat right again" blah blah blah.

It bothered me (and still does bother me) that they show absolutely zero support but you know what?  I've got to row my own boat.

Row your own boat, sweetheart.

Moms panic.  I'm one, therefore I know.  She needs some time to come to terms with the idea.

HOWEVER, she'll feel a lot better and her 'premonition' will have less likelihood of coming true if you get yourself to a surgeon who knows what he is doing. 

You are upset she won't 'listen to reason,'  'won't look at dsfacts.com' or obesityhelp.   The vets here know what they are talking about.  The information here and at dsfacts is some of the best available.  Which is why you want her to read those sites, yes?

AND YET, you yourself aren't listening to the vets or following the information on those sites.  Your surgeon is unknown.  Your surgeon has balked at doing this surgery on you and has few if any other DS patients. 

My advice is that before you lambaste your mother for being worried, you make sure you have done everyting in your power to ensure a great outcome, part of which is using a reputable surgeon.
 
Please, please, please rethink this.

Blessings,
Rags

 ^^^^^^^
Ditto what she said!!!

I love all the advice you've been given, esp Janine's "row your own boat" comment. I will simply add to that part of the discussion that it's impossible to reason with someone who is being irrational, which is what your mother is being at this point. I hope she will become more rational on this subject at some point, but only time will tell. In the meantime, either just drop the subject and go on about your business, or tell her nicely but firmly that you have made your decision and there is nothing further to be discussed.
     But I do share Ms. Calculator's concerns about your surgeon. I've been on this forum about 6 years, she's been around a long time as well, and we've never heard of him as a DS surgeon. As you may already know, we recently had one of our forum members die at the hands of an inexperienced DS surgeon - long story, but the experienced (but very mobile!) surgeon who was supposed to assist him left town, she chose to go with the inexperienced surgeon anyway against lots of advice from many, many people here, and now she's gone. Please, please have your surgery ONLY with an experienced DS surgeon, or someone who is learning from a recognized DS surgeon who will have that experienced person with him assisting on your surgery.

Larra

I really hope you open your eyes and ears to this forum! Listen to the vets! Do not be another tragic story.

Your Mom may very well be right if you don't go to an experienced DS surgeon.

From where I stand, YOU are the one being unreasonable.

 Deanna,
You really need to do a lot more research. Your surgeon is not a vetted DS surgeon. Please listen to the advice you have been given.

Deanne,
Lots of great advice. The doc you have listed is NOT a DS vetted doc ! Please go to www.dsfacts.com and find a DS vetted doc. Then SWITCH ASAP. Do not let this guy without sufficient experience, turn you into an experiment.  It is sad when this happens and we lose people because of it. Stephanie, a very young gal died not long because of this happening as the doc assured her he could do it. She died, so sad.

Once you find a DS vetted doc, do it. Just be sure the doc is vetted and knows what he is doing. Not sure who is closest to where you are... and that is not what is important. In your pic you look young, you want this done properly and done properly the first time. So cancel your date, research somemore and then reschedule. Many of us have had to travel for surgery.

It will be worth it in the end. When I was switched I had to travel, we told family we were going out of town, was not a lie ! We went out of town. I did not tell family until several months later as we do not live close to them in proximity and they would of been worried sick.

Your an adult, you can do this, just do it with a vetted DS doc. Come back and ask questions as you need to, we are here to help... just ask.

Good luck

I went to a non-vetted DS surgeon. I didn't die, but almost did. It's all in my blog here. I had to have emergency revision surgery. I was as stubborn and as stupid as you. Or, maybe more, as I DIDN'T change my doctor and you still have time to!

As for your mom, you are going to have to get firm with her that if she doesn't want to be resonable perhaps you guys can just "agree to disagree" and drop the subject for the remainder of her stay.

Be smarter than me (or smarter than I was - my plastic surgeon one day will be the #1 recommendation on this board whomever that is!).

I did not have support of anyone...except my husband and the members here on OH.  It was tough.  Every one of the few minor issues I've had post-op...my friends or family say, "See we told you so." or "Just wait you are gonna lose all that weight and gain it back to be fatter than ever."  This surgery is not a piece of cake (ummm...did I say cake? say no!  lol)  This is your journey, make the right decisions for you and don't let anyone else do it for you.  

I had a vetted surgeon and I still had some issues.  I have not posted many of them publicly, but there are a few members that will tell you I have been through a lot in 2 months.  I'm not that far out from my surgery and I DO understand how important it can be to you to have the surgery done.  I know how anxious you can be to get it done and over with.  I was prepared to sell some of my most precious items if my insurance would not cover my surgery.  If the surgeon I went to would have denied me the DS...because I have lupus (which is related to fibromyalgia) and thyroid disease...I would have went to any quack that would have done it.  I was desperate to lose the weight.  I know, foolish, especially I have seen some dear sweet people like Stephanie on here pass away when she did not follow the advice of the vets.   I ask you to please reconsider and get yourself a vetted DS surgeon.