Why do people think its ok...

Why do people think it is ok to tell my spouse I am going to leave him when I get "skinny"? or to ask him when his surgery is?  My hubby and I have been together for 22 yrs. 11 dating/ 11 married.. we have been thru thick n thin together and it annoys the hell out of me that people think it is funny or ok to ask such stupid questions.. My hubby needs to lose weight, yes! but I would never ask him to have surgery. He never asked me too, but WHEN I made the decision he stood by me and I would do the same for him. We have talked about it, but nothing decided.. I don't think he is insecure, but I also don't want these idiots making him feel like I am gonna leave him...Just venting..How would/did you handle these remarks or questions?

Well, I am kind of straightforward and I would tell them to MYOB and STFU, but that's just me.

Michele

 People can be so stupid!  If you guys were good together before DS, you guys will be good together after DS!

Same thing happened to me.  My husband got scared and looked up an old girlfriend online.  We have worked things out and are better but I do sometimes wonder if it's because I've gained so much weight back. 

You hear about the statistics with divorce post WLS.  The truth is this - if your marriage is strong, it will continue to be.  If it's not, the cracks will begin to show and you will either fix them or not. 

okay my message has someone elses face on it, this is really Amanda-DS writing
this is what it said:I never had a good answer the pointed stare worked the best, I would get completely still and just stare at them, I mean intensely stare.....it was almost comical seeing them squirm......got answers like.."just joking"......."my cousins wife left them".........I would not engage any conversation but continued to put my evil eye on them.

The more insidiuos ones are the ones who will say it to him in private.

My hubby was skinny and gorgous(at least to me) before my surgery but he did not handle my surgery well and all the changes. He actually went out and found a replacement for me on line. Asked for a divorce at 8 months post-op. I was absolutely devastated. Alot of counciling later we made it. One of his excuses was "I was afraid you were going to leave and I did not want to be alone". He acted out on his fears and they had been amplified by just those type of comments from family and "friends".

Nip it in the bud. No amount of reassurance by me during my wls journey that I loved him, only him, was enough at the time.

An icy stare and a change of subject.

I was horrifed as well. The first comment was that I was going to get a boob job and leave my husband. I was highly offended someone would think that. Now I see that it is soooooooooooo common after wls but they don't know you and they don't know me. Every relationship is different. Good luck .

People say that type of stuff to my dh and I ALL. THE. TIME! It is so annoying. I find it degrading to both myself and my husband.I usually just call people on it right away and let people know how stupid they sound. Besides, our marriage is truly none of their business. Dh is confident in our marriage and thinks that it is funny seeing me get all riled up but even still, I find it rude.

The people on this board are so high class. Much better than me.
I would probably ask them something like, "How would you like me to tell your husband you are leaving him?"

or just tell them they are incredibly rude.

Thank you ladies for your replies.. as always thank you guys for understanding, because you know where I am coming from.