Mental Frustration and Self-Pity Party

z85sparty
on 8/29/11 6:06 am - Mason, MI
So, tomorrow is my first appointment with a plastic surgeon to begin the process of having my stomach skin removed and have a TT done.  I will be honest, I am mentally freaking out a little bit here!  (FYI, I do not want to have the actual surgery until at least November after I run my marathon.)  

Lately, I have been feeling so free and amazing due to my weight loss!  I look (what I think) is amazing, hot, and sexy!  I can  wear clothes I never thought in a million years that I could nor should wear, lol.... all the while still have this (what I consider massive) stomach skin "thing".  I've had this stomach hang for over 16 years now!!! 

There is a small part of me that is wondering how I am going to feel with this semi-security blanket all gone!  If I feel like amazing now, how am I going to feel with this all gone!!!!  My best friend tells me that I am a "hooch" now and that I am going to be "a total freak off a leash" after surgery, lol!!!  All in fun and in a total loving way!!!  It is just weird and mind blowing to think that the last bit of me (reminding me of how big I used to be) could be all gone soon!!! 

As the same time I am having a huge mental frustration with myself.  I have been working very hard to get my mind to catch up with my body!  As happy, hot, and great as I feel you would think a nice, sweet, pretty girl like me would have men flocking to her.... yeah, well, NOT!  At the same time I am trying to mentally work on how "good" I am, I keep asking myself "WTF is wrong with me" that guys won't hardly talk to me?!?!?!?! 

Okay... Self-Pity party semi-over!!! 

So thankful for my DS! 1/20/2012 - SW 290/CW 155 - 1 year to lose, 1.5 years and counting maintaining! 

A Run With Meghan (My Running Blog)

My First Half Marathon: Fort For Fitness (9/24/2011): 2:22:58
My Frist Marathon: Marine Corps (10/30/2011):
 5:39:59
My First Sprint Triathlon: Trek Series (8/7/2011): 1:55:18

(deactivated member)
on 8/29/11 6:36 am
Congratulations on your newfound health, fitness, and hotness!   I agree, you are a very pretty girl and should have men approaching you!  But maybe they're intimidated or don't know how?  I have heard of other pretty women having the same problem.  But, I am not a man, so I can only guess!   Have you tried some dating sites?  I'm sure you'd have luck with those, the men on there are actively looking for a date/relationship (you would think, anyway).  Good luck with your marathon and tummy tuck! 
Elizabeth N.
on 8/29/11 7:38 am - Burlington County, NJ
It'll be rather strange to have a flat belly, trust me. But you'll get used to it :-).

Ya know, I notice all the time how people lose all their weight and then are totally perplexed that they don't get the attention they were so sure they'd get from the preferred sex. This is not pointed at YOU directly, okay?

The thing is: IT'S NOT ALL ABOUT THE WEIGHT FOLKS. There is zero magic in weight loss when it comes to attracting the kind of attention you want. You still have to seek out relationships with the kind of people you want to be with. You still have to do the work. And if you have odd things going on with your psyche, they're still going to crop up in those relationships.

I suppose I'd look kind of silly trying to give guy-finding advice, since I'm an old married lady. But I gotta tell you, I never EVER lack for conversation and interaction when I go somewhere. Maybe it's because I'm not looking for someone and it's easier, I dunno. But it sure works great to just look someone in the eye, smile and say "How's it going?"

beemerbeeper
on 8/29/11 2:22 pm - AL
Check out the singles forum here on OH.  There are a bunch of great folks there who know exactly what you are going through.  I hope to see you there!

~Becky


(deactivated member)
on 8/29/11 4:40 pm
I can relate to this. Whilst I am still a heavy weight, I have been approved for an apronectomy.  While I am excited about the mobility I will gain, I have had this huge hanging stomach for...well, ever.  Will i miss it? Will I look in the mirror and freak out?  Will I be ME without all this fat?  It's weird, and I cant explain it as I DO want it off, but there is part of me that is really unsure about the whole thing.
hollyweasel
on 8/29/11 11:48 pm - MI
Congrats on your weight loss!  It looks like Dr. L did a great job, let's hope he did a great job on me too!!

Ya know, I think this has more to do with self esteem than weight.  Next time you are somewhere, YOU should go and talk to a guy.  Sure some will shy away, and some won't even know what to do, but others will be attracted to you for having the balls to do it!

DS Surgery in Detroit Medical Center on 8/17/11.
Start Weight: 386 

        
KellyJTn
on 8/29/11 11:54 pm - Oak Ridge, TN
I am having the same problem. I think I look pretty darn good (even with the excess skin) at the weight I am now, and I'm still losing. I never have men approach me in public, EVER. Sure, I catch some glance every once in a while, but approach? No way. And I don't walk around with a frown on my face, I'm always cheerful and happy. I'm not sure what it is about me?  I am on a dating site, and I get emails there frequently, but then after a conversation or two, I find out they aren't the kind of guy I'm looking for, so I move on. One thing about having higher self esteem is that you don't settle now, or atleast, I don't. I'm SO picky now!! 

 ~Kelly ~   
SW 364/CW 164/GW 150             
 

         

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