Come to your own conclusions, or don't

In the course of discussing this situation with others, I decided to make a compilation of posts that could be illuminating to some who are getting caught up in a drama, again.  I am not a hard-hearted person, but after a certain amount of due diligence, I am of the non-medical opinion that this is not a situation any of us can help with, and that the "help" that is being solicited may not be in the best interests of the person soliciting it.  It takes a lot to get me to this point, and I'm not sure I'm right, but it is something to be considered - and something that this woman's doctors may be considering, based on her complaints of being dismissed.

First, these may explain a little what I am referencing: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Munchausen_by_internet
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/M%C3%BCnchausen_syndrome
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hypochondriasis

Now, think about those definitions in conjunction with this posting history:

Here is a link to all of her posts on Obesityhelp.com's DS forum.  Most of them are rather pointless and innumerable short posts to other people's posts.  Sometimes, 1/2 of the most recent post avatars on the front page of the forum were here annoying pink avatar.
http://www.obesityhelp.com/forums/ds/board_id,5357/user_id,9 39187/a,messageboard/action,memberPosts/page,1/

Here are numerous threads (most of which she has started) about her many many problems.  They are more or less chronological.  They suggest a pattern of behavior that meets some of the definitions noted above.  She has burned out a number of us, especially vets, with this behavior.  Her story seems to change a bit over time, always in her favor of course, as a long-suffering victim.

http://www.obesityhelp.com/forums/ds/4273958/Terrible-upper- Gi-experience-some-problems-found-any-ideas/#35178872 (11/15/10 - preop - which she went back and deleted the original post on 6/17/11 for some reason)

http://www.obesityhelp.com/forums/ds/4315618/Freaking-out-ov er-my-recent-skyrocket-in-my-ALT-AST-Liver/#35567311 (2/3/11)

http://www.obesityhelp.com/forums/ds/4368306/Anyone-had-have -really-bad-acid-reflux-amp-threw-up-blood/#36094950 (4/6/11)

http://www.obesityhelp.com/forums/ds/4369920/8-hours-spent-i n-the-ER-and-still-nothing/#36107103 (4/9/11)

http://www.obesityhelp.com/forums/ds/4369998/Has-anybody-hea rd-from-KimberlyHeidi/#36113622 (4/11/11)

http://www.obesityhelp.com/forums/ds/4372419/Had-surgery-for -complications-today-even-more-confused-now/#36124650 (4/13/11 - she had her ex-lap and essentially nothing was found)

http://www.obesityhelp.com/forums/ds/4380215/So-much-pain-st ill-lost-faith-in-ERs-DRs-and-my-surgeon/#36202034 (4/30/11 - another cry for help)

http://www.obesityhelp.com/forums/ds/4380462/Bean-and-other- Dr-Elariny-patients/#36203778 (5/1/11 - which ended up being an attack on another Dr. Elariny patient who was questioning her story, who may or may not have deserved that)

http://www.obesityhelp.com/forums/ds/4384614/What-would-you- do-Request-the-feeding-tube-or-no/#36238290 (5/10/11)

http://www.obesityhelp.com/forums/ds/4387287/Gastroparesis-G ERD-Help-Needed-Reglan-issues/#36263662 (5/16/11)

http://www.obesityhelp.com/forums/ds/4388820/People-who-have -had-complications-from-surgery-please-post/#36275884 (5/19/11 - somewhere in the middle of this thread, she posted another thread, about going on vacation to DisneyWorld in the middle of the summer, a ridiculous proposition given her alleged "delicate condition," which she has since deleted, which is where she FINALLY lost the patience of a few of the vets - see the posts on page 3 of this thread referencing that blowup, starting 6/4/11) 

http://www.obesityhelp.com/forums/ds/4393106/Fainted-today-s o-scary-advice-needed/#36316991 (5/30/11) 

And of course the one started on 8/19/11:
http://www.obesityhelp.com/forums/ds/4440350/In-Hospital-Nee d-some-advice/#36711190

In between, she has been regaling the FaceBook message board with her tales of woe. (You can't see these posts if you aren't a member of the group):

https://www.facebook.com/groups/174102532625545/search/?quer y=Kimberly%20Harris%20Becker%20&offset=20#!/groups/174102532 625545/search/?query=Kimberly%20Harris%20Becker%20&offset=70 

And yet in ALL of this, including multiple ER visits and hospitalizations and innumerable and expensive tests, NOTHING significant has ever been found.

ON THE OTHER HAND - there have been multiple instances of people who had bowel obstructions/internal hernias that were not diagnosed on various non-invasive tests, but were found on ex-lap.  But she's gotten them to perform an ex-lap in recent months, and only endometriosis was found.

I don't know what, if anything, is wrong with her.  But after making what I think were prudent inquiries that were not violative of her HIPAA rights, I have decided to NOT get involved with this person regarding her continuing medical issues, which are ALWAYS complicated by accusations of inadequate or inappropriate medical attention, any further.

I hope this is not a case of a genuine problem being ignored by multiple doctors who believe her to be drug-seeking, attention-seeking, or otherwise not in need of their intervention.  I would hate to see this become another Stalker Val situation:

Diana- you are brave and bold but I hope you are right as posting this is tartamount to a public humiliation, isn't it? I  was wondering tho if a Muchausen person realizes they are such ir if their suffering is real to them and they don't see what they are doing . . ?? Just curious . . . I suspect I know someone who is one but although it may have started that way (munchausen seeking attention & love) for her right now her situation is real and life threatening and if I ever mentioned to her my suspicions she would be devastated and I am sure would deny it up & down . . .

You call it humiliation, I call it pointing out to potential enablers what they are doing, and asking them to step back and look at the big picture and associated behaviors.  Giving her advice how to keep getting more and more unnecessary medical attention, if that's what she is doing, is not help.  Neither is the continuing attention from the message board members. 

And frankly, it's not good for the current members of the board who are buying into her pathology, if that's what it is, and it sure as HELL isn't good for newbies coming here and getting scared by her factitious reportage - if that's what it is.

Depends on whether you buy into the factitious-disorder theory or the somatoform-disorder theory.

ok perhaps that word was harsh and I do see what you are saying. The most recent post about needing advice was so draining to me after reading it all I did leave out of frustrarion not having a clue of what to say. But it aso occurred to me that perhaps she was even eating carbs to keep it going for that many days . .?

But it aso occurred to me that perhaps she was even eating carbs to keep it going for that many days . .?

HUH? So what? Carbs are NOT evil.

I hear you.

Unfortunately, there is an endless supply of fresh listeners and sympathizers online.

Stalker Val is such an apt comparison, too. She cried wolf so very many times that it's quite possible she didn't get good attention and care for the disease that killed her. What she did to a LOT of people on OH with her endless shenanigans was a damned shame.

I was--fortunately, I guess--absent during most of the Stalker Val stuff.  Just after my return, the claim was..."Stalker Val died."

And the response was, "Again?"

That's sad.  (And, ironic.)

If one has made so many claims of impending death that all the Internet Greek Chorus can manage is "Again?" when hearing of the ACTUAL death, one has probably spent way too much time going way too far with the hysterical false claims.

Poor Dr. Elariny, he seems to get more than his share of drama queens.  He might consider a better screening process.

It wasn't that long ago that another drama queen was blaming him for all sorts of issues as a recent post-op, which were all quite normal in the course of a MAJOR surgery, and then attempted to re-write history.

This one has used up most of this board.  She will always have an audience, but the shame will be that it will be pre-ops (that she will likely scare away)  -and-  well meaning, but not well educated post-ops.

I don't like to scream out  "AW" when it surrounds potential medical issues, but Stalker Val and others have made us cautious.  We are a message board, not medical professionals.  We offer "been there / done that / try this" suggestions, encouragement, and a kick in the ass when needed.  This one needs something alright, that only a medical professional can help her with, whether it is her gut or her head.

She isn't in podunk for goodness sake, she has access to some of the best medical care in the world at her doorstep!

And I'd like to distinguish this from the situation with Eloisie, *****ally didn't seem to be appreciating the trouble she was actually in, and who got a tongue-lashing about getting herself to a doctor ASAP.  She seemed to be in need of help focusing on how to appreciate and communicate how bad her situation was.

This is a very different situation.  This is a person who has received care, has been told what to do, and still insists on posting endless longwinded repetitive posts about her medical issues, apparently to garner sympathy and attention she seems to need - and ignores much of what she is told, both by us and by her MANY doctors, all of whom seem to be coming to the same conclusion about her.

I hope that the newbies don't become afaid of posting medical problems if they think they need advice, even though this is a message board and not a doctor's office.  We are generally full of decent advice, but when people need to be snapped out of a stupor or a ridiculous course of action, some of us WILL get loud!  Again, good cop, bad cop - someone should get through to them.