Come to your own conclusions, or don't

 No butt-handing here - I totally respect where you're coming from.   I also don't want to smash this woman or humiliate her, and most who know me know that I am not in the habit of doing so.  I just do not want well-intentioned, kind-hearted newbies to be sucked into the drama that she has created.   

I'm not sure if you have been following her facebook posts, but I do agree with one poster on there that she have one more complete exploratory lap to rule out any Peterson's defects or internal hernias.    I know of too many people who've had a tough time getting them diagnosed, including myself.   Her surgeon has already performed this once, but I think it needs to be done one more time, just for safe measure, even if she needs to find a different surgeon.

HOWEVER, I'm not sure if you've read her complete posting history, but if you have the time sit down and take a gander.    Unfortunately, she's deleted a few of the more crucial posts, especially the one about the trip to Disneyland, but it seems there's far more of a psychiatric/psychological/attention-seeking element here than just a person desperate for someone to help her physical symptoms (real or imagined).     I think though, that you might glean some enlightenment from it.     As a teacher of an entire population that often relies on manipulation as a means of survival, and who has dealt extensively in both my personal and professional life with individuals living on the edge of society, I've learned to rely on my instincts to tell me when there is something missing from a picture, and not to sound arrogant, I'm rarely proven wrong.    In this situation, I think there is more at play than what we can help her with.    I

Julie, thanks for that.  I have followed the posts, not on facebook but here.  I definitely agree there is probably more than meets the eye with this lady.  As a newbie who definitely is sucked into the drama, I appreciate your comments. 

I guess I'm just that person that feels like even if she is a malingerer or Munchausen, she could still have something wrong.  She has completely disappeared from this board so I guess we'll never know!  Which tells me either she feels like we're on to her and is moving on or something really bad happened. 

I think your idea of a 2nd exploratory is a good idea.  Hope she pushed for that. 

 Lynnmarie - a perusal of her previous posts will show you that the same pattern has been exhibited before - disappearing for a while, then resurfacing with a new issue.   However,  my sincerest  hope is that she has not posted because she is somewhere reputable, having a follow-up surgery to discovery what the problem is, and that it is solved, this time for good!

Yeah...it IS hard to just jump right in and accuse someone of being  "frequent flyer" and of "drug-seeking behavior," unless you're a real asshole.  I remember when yet another troll of one of my favorite ******** accused Pumpkin X. of drug-seeking behavior when, in fact, following a spinal tap, she was leaking spinal fluid and ALL of her symptoms...headache, blurred vision, EXTREME sensitivity to sounds and smells, dizziness and more...all stuff that's hard to prove so easy to accuse about...turned out to be the result of a leak and once the leak was fixed the symptoms went away.

But I, too, sense a difference in this case.  In Pumpkin's situation the ER docs were stymied...so it was all her fault.  But her specialist--who practiced at a different hospital and so was not consulted--stepped in and told her what was wrong and how to fix it RIGHT AWAY.  And it didn't go on for months.

This one just has too much drama for me.

I do hope nothing is seriously wrong with her, but I am having a hard time with the believability of these continued situations as well.

I really don't know what to think.  At the very least, even if there is a physical issue present, the whole situation is probably overblown and I think she's an attention *****

Even the people that have had real problems post-op that last for months don't post that often.  Jeez, I can't help but think of a certain young DSer that has been having problems for YEARS now, and even she hasn't made as many collective posts in those years about her situation (persistent diarrhea) as miss Pink Avatar has in the last 3-4 months.

Again, let me be clear - I DO think there is something wrong with her.  But I also want people who have been freaking out about the horrible care she has been receiving to see the bigger picture in the context of her history, and to grasp what is the more likely explanation of what is wrong.  People have been upset, doctors and hospitals have been unfairly criticized if not outright defamed, and if you step back and look at the big picture, the situation may very well not be what is being portrayed.

If you want to keep supporting her, fine.  If you want to keep getting upset with how the medical establishment - and her husband - are treating her, fine.  If you want to keep trying to find ways to help her get more testing, more drugs, more hospital time, fine.  I don't know that I am right, but I do feel pretty confident that it is more likely than not that I am.

If you DON'T, you don't need to feel guilty either.  And in fact, you may be doing her a bigger favor by not feeding her pathology.  That's what this thread is about.

I could just never stand in judgement of weather someone was really sick or not. I know when I was sick for 6 months they were people that thought well if you just suck it up you will be fine. Till I ended up in the hospital not being able to walk or move my arms.
After weeks and weeks on a feeding tube I am now just fine happy to report, but it seems my tummy needed more time to heal and heal with nothing being put in it, I didnt drink or eat anything just the feeding tube and sure enough it worked!
I begged for that tube from month 2 I knew my body and I was not getting any better.
If you feel she is having a little pity party for herself then I agree just ignor it.
But we are not doctors we cant judge her, really we dont even know her beyond what we see here on the net.
If people want to take time out of their day to reply to her and make her feel better, well thats up to them and if they want to do it forever thats up to them.
Really the only thing we take with us when we leave this earth is how we treated other people.
I hope and pray whatever is going on with her will end. I know I am better now living a happy life and I am glad I didnt stop trying to find out what was wrong with me, because if I did I would not have been able to spend the weekend with my wonderful grandkids and my husband, because I would be dead.

Lorilee, it's a fine line.  I don't know that I ever heard anyone suggest that you were malingering.  Whatever the difference is in how you reported what was going on with you, and how she is doing it, the *aura of inauthenticity* was not there with your posts.  My recollection is that people were more concerned that you were accepting your problems and not seeking help soon enough or vigorously enough, and were accepting the word and complacency of a surgeon who was known to be in the habit of abandoning his patients.

I'm not sure I'm right about the current situation - I've said that repeatedly.  And even the title of this thread says it's up to you to decide what you think and what to do.  But the warning signs are there with her posts, and some people don't see them, are ignoring them, and may be unintentionally contributing to promoting her behaviors which - if they are NOT medically justified - are prolonging the drama, cost and time to receiving the real help she needs, as well as causing angst and upset among those who keep trying to help her.  If this helps some of them realize that they are not seeing the big picture, I'm good with that.

If you want to keep supporting her, that really is fine with me.  For those who DON'T want to, they should not feel guilty for thinking there is something hinkey with the situation.

I know *I* never thought for a moment you were malingering.

But I do agree that if you dont want to help her anymore you should not feel guilty about it.