Is this OK? I can eat more at 8 wks out?
Tofu - You are right!! I now have my eyes open (at last). I have started counseling this week and DH said he would join me soon. We have been married for 21 years and there seems to be some built up and unaddressed anger that must be resolved.
That hurt more than just my body.
Thanks for your comment.
Sherry
That hurt more than just my body.
Thanks for your comment.
Sherry
Ms. Cal Culator
on 8/18/11 3:44 pm - Tuvalu
on 8/18/11 3:44 pm - Tuvalu
Let me add what I always get in trouble for saying but believe nonetheless...if you REALLY believed...deep down in your secret heart...that you did not in some way DESERVE to be abused, you'd get the hell out. Or you'd have him arrested. And or, you'd get an order of protection and a GOOD weapon.
The fact that you are still there, with him, means YOU need counseling.
But he needs to get the **** out now. Right now.
By the way...this will get way worse, real soon. As you lose weight and other men look at you in a way he isn't used to seeing them look at you, he will decide that YOU are encouraging them. And he will act out. This is a problem that is heard of quite often after one partner makes a huge change.
(I think that ALL marriages contain an unspoken contract...yours MAY say, "I'll let you abuse me if you let me be fat." And his MAY say something like, "I'll marry your fat ass if you let me take out all my frustrations with what a loser I am on you." You might want to think about what the trade off is in your contract with him...and if you really want to continue to give him permission to behave this way.)
yup. It is as simple and as clear as that Sue.
Abusive people will never forgive you for not allowing them to abuse you either. Once you are out of their lives you are still the reason why things go wrong and always will be. There is no smoothing over at all. Hard one for us fatty people pleasers to accept.
Abusive people will never forgive you for not allowing them to abuse you either. Once you are out of their lives you are still the reason why things go wrong and always will be. There is no smoothing over at all. Hard one for us fatty people pleasers to accept.