So my beloved hubby and I had a bet, and he lost.

In all fairness to DH, once I insisted (at the begining of this journey) that he read DSFacts.com, he has supported me on my decision to have the surgery. He is terrified that I might die during surgery (and seeing what happened to poor Stephanie hasn't eased his fears). But perhaps seeing Stephanie pass away may be subconsiously eating away at him, since until this past Tuesday, he has never pressured me into telling our close friends.

I think he will respect my decision for privacy now (although the cat's out of the bag now and I'm not sure if this news will spread to the rest of our group of friends). If it does, and I get badgered any more by our friends, DH will get the cattle prod unless he defends me to them.

My family is on board with my decision, and DH's family is supportive, and to tell the truth, they are the only ones who matter to me in this. As dearly as I love our friends, if they don't support it, it really won't matter to me. (They think the DS is the RNY no matter what we told them last night)

Maybe they will change their thinking after they see how healthy i will be after the DS, but we won't know until that happens. Hopefully soon I can turn everything in....waiting on the stupid CXR results...grrrr....

When ever anyones tells me "I took the easy way out"  or "the cheaters way out",   I am quick to tell them:  1) It has not been easy!    2) It's working where nothing else has.  3) That's what is important to me, I'm going to live!! 

Best wishes

Absolutely, I went with my gut.  I told those who could be trusted and felt like would support me -- a few people have not been supportive, but overall I think the majority of my people have been good-- they all want to come to the hospital.....  I have actually felt the need for more privacy lately. 

I do have an email written out to go out to those I love if something should go amiss, but I will say that overall there was less than 1% negativity.  Those who are uneducated and have not really studied wls have no idea what to think or how to react. 

My parents have been a pain in the wazoo-- but my DH read DS facts and I have had him watch many of the youtube videos and a couple of blogs.  Brok, Lori, Tom and Mark have been great helpers to me in the youtube DS world! 

One person who was fearful for me -I chose to educate them and now they are on board 100%  it just took some time.  Show them what you know-- if they are worth it-- and I think they will support you. 

Not that you should have to defend yourself, I get that - people seem to be fearful of what they do not understand.  I showed them before and after photos, blogs and recipes of things I will be able to eat.  Now there are some I didn't even take the time with, why bother, if these people are your true friends they will support you no matter what.
JMO
JJ

Well, I hope this isn't too long...

My background:  I have always been totally open.  I don't care what people think.  Everyone at the hospital where I work knows I had surgery.  On August 1, I had a total knee replacement.

Forward to Weds. when I was at outpatient re-hab.  I was working out when another patient came in and was in total melt down mode.  I had no idea why and tried to MMOB.  When I got done for the day and was leaving, one of the therapists asked me if she could tell the melt down patient about my WLS and how well I've done.  (All was handled very discreetly and HIPAA compliant.)  I readily gave my consent and told her if Ms. Meltdown wanted to talk to me about it, she could make some arrangements.  (I hope Ms. Meltdown brought up WLS because we all know that whether we're open or not, it's not cool to suggest it to those we don't know real well.)  Be that as it may be:  if Ms. Meltdown wants to talk, I'll happily suggest this forum, visiting our local support groups, patient information seminars, etc.

Also, because of my open way of dealing with WLS, a friend is seeking WLS and told me the other day she was glad she had me to observe and help her through the hoops.  Other people helped me so I feel that if I can help others, I will.  The whole paying it forward thing. 

HOWEVER, from reading this forum for close to 3 years, I've learned that others have really had to deal with some real ********  How can I not respect a decision to keep one's business private?  I truly see why some people want to keep it to themselves.  Not everyone is an crotchety old crone like me *****ally doesn't give a rat's ass about what someone thinks I should or should not do. 

I had the same issue, so I only told 3 close friends, my husband and my brothers and sister (and tried to explain it to my 8 year old son who when I came back from surgery asked me why I am not thin yet...lol). 

I told my boss because I needed the time off and asked him to keep it private. After I came back to work and everything went well I started telling everyone on a need basis.  Most people supported me although I know a couple don't agree with my decision but as others have mentioned it is your body and your decision and everyone else need to mind their own business.

Once I had the surgery and everyone could see that I was doing great (made it through the surgery, no dumping, no wasting away from malnutrition, etc) I would have had no problem telling people that I had the surgery. Because then I would have been "living proof", and they wouldn't have a leg to stand on with their misconceptions. But until then, I really wanted to keep it to a "need to know" basis.

Oh well, time will tell. Thanks for all the support! That's why I love this place. Even though I have not met any of you face-to-face, I really feel like I am among friends!

I told all my friends and all my family knows. 3 close friends were totally against it and now that I'm back home from surgery they are avoiding me. It's upsetting, but I figure, if they are this judgmental, then I don't need their negativity in my life. My Dad and stepmom were against my surgery, but they did not shun me, they were just concerned and now that it's over they're relieved that everything went okay. Everyone else was cautious but supportive.

I'm pre-op but am the sort of person who doesn't hide much from people.  So, as I started this jouney of WLS, I first thought of the RNY. I told lots of people that I was getting the RNY.  I had a few who discouraged me (warned me of regain and failure, etc.) but most people were supportive.  Once i decided to have the DS I had so much opposition I didn't know what to do with myself.  For some (like my dad and my mother in-law I printed out info from DSfacts.com .  But I'm just now realizing that I get too much critisism from people when I tell them about the surgery. I'll wait until after it's done and then share the news.  I don't think I'll care much once it's all done and no one can TRY and disuade me from doing it.

Good luck. I think you were right in this case.

Sher-