Please help with eating.

Ok, hopefully we'll here from Eloise soon.

Elly... LEt us know how you're doin and what the doc said.

 
This problem will not fix itself.  I've been there, and I know!

I had a similar issue.  I was throwing up stomach bile for about 7-8 months post-surgery.  I would eat and not vomit the food; just the foamies.  

I would be totally hungry, and my hubby would fix me whatever (and I mean whatever!) I wanted.  By the time the food got the 4 steps from the kitchen to my recliner, I would be barfing and queasy for no discernible reason.  Or, I would try a few bites and my stomach would hurt, or I would get nauseous.  No food seemed to agree with me at all.

Quickly, I was totally dehydrated and malnourished.  I had to go on TPN for 3 months.  AS SOON as I got on TPN (like, the same day), I felt better.  I could eat without vomiting!  I didn't have all those sensitivities to smell, texture and taste from food.  TPN was a lifesaver.

I agree with the other posters--get to a hospital where they can run a full blood panel on you right now.  If your numbers are low enough, they will give you something there, and they should hook you up with an infusion company.  They may also surgically put in a TPN line for you.  The infusion company will coordinate your TPN care from home.  You do it yourself:  hook yourself up to the feeding bag, turn it on, and let it do its work.  The infusion company and your doctor watch your numbers to make sure that you're improving over time. 

You can do this!  Go get help, stat!

Eloise,

i can identify with what you are saying. I had a time in my life (before surgery) that I felt this way too. Once you have suffered from inadequate nutrition for a while you are truly not thinking clearly. It sounds like you are self-actualized about this since you recognize your brain is foggy. I went through this too. In fact, even though a dr. wanted to check me into the hospital, I declined and went straight back to a business meeting.

I can see now that this was borderline crazy thinking and very dangerous. You need to get help right now. If you don't feel like getting in your car and driving to the hospital, call a friend. If you are embarassed to call a friend, ask a neighbor to drop you off. It might be more comfortable to reach out to someone who does not know the details (less judgement). Does your insurance include EAP (employee assistance program)? If so, call them. If not, consider calling your local crisis response. Any reasonable health professional would see the dire situation you are in.

I wish you the best - especially the strength of mind, body and character to get some help straight away!