Wish me luck at the grill!
(He'd also bring along enough of his magnificent homemade Flathead cherry wine to get the entire population passed out. He's a trip, a truly wonderful human being.)
Duodenal Switch 08/09/06 - Dr. Paul Kemmeter, Grand Rapids, Michigan
HW: 282 - 5'4"
SW: 268
GW: 135
CW: 125
You can do it in the oven too!
1. Get chickie and remove his gizzards and rinse him off. Give gizzards to any cats you can find, since we are not doing gizzard gravy in this recipe. Let chickie come to kinda sorta room temp or he will not sear as well. Don't worry, you will not get botchulism or e. coli from this step.
BLEACH YOUR HANDS. (Since people think touching a chickie will cause instant death, y'know, gotta put that in there.)
2. Get can-o-beer, OPEN THE CAN (important) and pour off an inch or so.
BLEACH YOUR HANDS.
3. Shove OPEN can-o-beer up chickie's ass. It's actually down chickie's throat, but up the ass makes better press.
BLEACH YOUR ELBOWS....I mean hands.
4. Get a little hunk of onion or potato and plug chickie's butthole (the end up which you did not shove can-o-beer, which really IS chickie's butthole, but our chickie has two asses for the sake of humor).
BLEACH YOUR BUTTOCKS.....I mean hands.
5. There are many marvelous seasoning mixes out there that are marked as being for fried or roasted chickie. Or you can mix your own. I used something in sis's cupboard called Johnny's Seasoning Salt. It's kinda like that McCormick stuff only better. Rub this into chickie's skin until he squeaks.
BLEACH YOUR KNEECAPS....I mean hands.
6. Heat the oven till it's almost burning down the house. We are talking mega searing HOT HOT HOT.
BLEACH YOUR....oh wait, we didn't touch chickie in this step.
7. Put chickie, which you have intelligently placed beer can ass down in a pan so as not to burn the house down, into the HOT HOT HOT oven. Let him sear for about ten minutes. You should not get flames from this step. If you do, you forgot the pan.
BLEACH YOUR BIG TOENAILS....I mean hands.
8. Reduce heat to about 350 and let chickie cook in his juices and his beer for oh, an hour or so. Do not disturb his repose by checking on him unless you see smoke or flames.
9. You need a thermometer to check him according to the so called experts. I think 180 at the thigh is the "safe" temp. IMNSHO you can tell when a chickie's goose is cooked, but that's not good enough for a lot of people.
Oops, we forgot a round of bleach. Are you blonde yet?
10. Pull out the whole shebang and let it stand for a good ten minutes or so before you OH SO VERY CAREFULLY pull chickie off his can and put him on a platter to slice. Upsetting the beer can is a very bad idea. Hot beer stinks when spilled.
Enjoy :-D. Oh, and don't forget to bathe in bleach lest a chickie germ get missed. *eyeroll* Seems to me when we butchered chickies we didn't go through all that bleach nonsense.....
After I sear my chick I normally loosley cover in foil for most of the roasting. I then uncover again to make sure the skin is crispy as I want it.
Your chick will fall apart when lifting off the beer can if you've cooked it right so be careful when you lift her off the can o beer.