Who's Business is it Anyways!!!!

Good Morning DSers....

                        
                       I just had to write today.....Why do people insist on knowing your business and making it their business to find out how you lost weight...I am frustrated that I have decided to do whats best for me, my health and my well being to be asked questions about my weight loss...When I began my weight loss journey I decided this will be a personal decision, so I only told a few family members...who have supported me fully.  I realize people will no doubt notice my weight loss and might have questions but  I am not ready to come clean to anyone and that is my choice.  This is about me...no one else.....Is there anyone out there in the same position as me right now and is trying to keep your weight loss journey a private thing....Pardon the rant!!!!  Lovin my DS!!!!!

Your private life is just that...private.  You are under no obligation to share anything about yourself that you don't want to.   If people are rude enough to ask you about your weight loss...simply change the subject.

Gypsy-
Although I am not switched yet, I am already thinking about how I am going to deal with this, especially at work since we are a small and tight knit working community.  It's probably similar to people thinking they can just come up and touch your stomach when you are pregnant.  I'm hoping I can maintain my composure as I am sure the questions are going to get old really quick, but if I can put up with it for a while, in time I am hoping their curiosity will fade.  I sympathize with you on this and am just not sure what the right thing to say would be.  Of course, you could always tell them you were taking some new "nunyo"  pills that help melt fat away instantly, and when they ask what "nunyo" is, say nunyo-business.

Hi there!
You're correct in saying that your decision is a personal one, and that you don't have to share it with anyone.  However, a coworker of mine went out on leave for several weeks, and I began to notice that she was dropping lbs like crazy upon her return!  Since I'd been interested in WLS myself, I did send her a private message on FB to ask what her secret was... sometimes people are asking because they genuinely want to know, more-so for themselves.  It wasn't something I was looking down on her for at all.  I actually hoped she'd gotten WLS, because I had SO MANY questions.

I think there's a difference in someone who is super skinny or already at an ideal weight asking you what you're doing, and someone else who is obese being curious and not asking in some sort of judging way.  Those snarky people who ask just to be nosy are the ones that I don't want to tell either... but the ones that I feel who could really benefit from my journey, I'm gonna spill it!  It's definitely something that you have to make your own choice about.

I'm so glad your DS has been and will continue to be successful for you!

Nic

It is entirely your decision how much to say and to whom. Yes weight loss is visible, and people will notice. Some are wonderful and will just tell you that you look great. Others are rude and ask personal questions.
    If you prefer not to answer those questions - your decision - you can either politely decline, change the subject, or prepare some equally rude replies to dish out when the need arises, like asking about that face lift or how's that drinking problem going. Or you can just ignore the question as if they had never said a word. Whatever suits your personality and relationship with that person.

Larra

Unfortunately, I had to delete this post due to privacy concerns.

Hi Gypsy_girl,
 First off congratulations on your success you are doing great, I had my surgery just one day after you. Keep doing what your doing and don't let what people say effect your new life.
   That being said I have always wondered why telling people that you/we've had a surgery to lose weight is an issue. I know I'm a guy and look at things different then the ladies do but It is obvious that we are losing and losing fast people will notice. I know people that would take 2 months off work and claim they were off for some reason or another just to find out later that they were lying and had a WLS. This bothered me more then if they would have just been honest and admitted that they were getting a procedure that would help them live a longer more productive life. I know before surgery it was no secret that I was obese and I did not get this way in private I will admit I loved me some ALL U CAN EAT joints and was not able to keep that a secret and  I don't thin****pt ALL those restaurants open by myself. In my experience (I know it is probably different for guys) but when people say " Man you look great have you lost weight" I reply " Yes I have lost 110 lbs and I feel great" I then add "I had WLS" before they even ask and every time they reply "Oh Yeah, I know someone who had that". Most of the time I don't take the time to explain the difference in what we have and what most people get. Unless  they seem interested in a WLS them self or start asking specific question and then I share as much as I can to help someone else. People get all kinds of procedures for all kinds of reasons I don't understand the privacy but if it is an issue I would hope your friends and family would respect you for making such a huge commitment to improve your health and quality of life. I wish you the best and hope you continue to have great success.

Floyd,

First of all, your private life if just that....PRIVATE! I have noticed more and more that people are losing their "boundries" and feel no shame in asking questions rather it be regarding health, marriage, finances, etc... You are only obligated to share those things which you want to share. I think I would just respond and tell them, "I'm sorry but it is a private matter."

That being said...I have been very open with my journey at work, home, and church. I found that by sharing openly, I have gained a lot of support. Yes, I had those that felt the need to tell me that I was taking the easy way out, as well as all of the other negative feedback. BUT, what I am finding more than anything is support. Since we have to miss so much work to fit in all of the pre-op appointments, I found that by sharing my journey, there has been understanding and support and even willingness to help with my workload. They are offering to help cover the work while I'm out post-op also. I have friends and even just acquaintances offering to visit me in the hospital and help out at home.

This is a personal journey and you need to travel it in the way that you are the most comfortable with. Don't let them make you feel bad!

It's an American social disease IMO, this belief that anyone can ask any kind of personal question and expect an answer :-/.

I wear a t-shirt that says, "Ask me about the best kept secret in weight loss surgery, the duodenal switch." That's how OUT THERE I am about the subject :-). But that's my CHOICE. It is your absolutely right to share as much or as little as you wish. You can just smile and say something like, "That's a personal matter" as often as needed to get the nosy folks to get a clue and shut up. People will complain about it, but they are the ones in the wrong for intruding like that.

It is no ones business.  I told my parents, and my husband and kids know.  As far as work, they thought I was getting my gallbladder out.  I work at a school, so I sit down.  I went back after 7 days.  It has been almost five years for me and I am happy with my decision.

  Good luck