Dating and Sex after DS Weight Loss

Hi Carol,
I was where you are a month or so ago.  I was dating a nice gentleman and was ready for the next step.  I'd already told him about losing weight and about the scars that I have from PS.  It didn't bother him a bit.  I did feel better that it was scars and not loose skin, but I never really dated after I lost weight.  I must say that the mons lift with the LBL, made sex a bit different and everything was up where it was suppose to be and much tighter.

Congrats on your weightloss and have a frank talk with your guy.  Wait until you are ready.  If he's a keeper he'll wait for you.

Atta girl, Chris! Good for you!

Hi Carol!  I love your name!  I'm a huge fan of the Nissan Z's... I'd love a 370 someday. :p

You are a gorgeous lady, and it's completely natural to have these reservations.  I can imagine how difficult this may be for you, but everyone here is correct.  If he's worthy of you, he will not care a lick about that loose skin.  Just be honest with him, and who knows... he may have some reservations of his own that he'd like to share!

I hope that this all works out for you!!!

Take care!
Nic

Totally OT here, but my husband has a yellow Nizzan 370z..  I tease him that it's his mid-life crisis car.  LOL!

At least he picked a fun one! :p  Buying one is definitely on my "to do" list in a couple of years!

I'm also not dating but I definitely think you should be honest about how you are nervous.

Also wouldn't hurt to go get a pretty little something to make you feel better. You could get a nightie that holds the girls up or something that covers your stomach and see if you can get more comfortable.

Also a glass of wine helps!! Good luck and you are super cute. If I know men, he is going to be pretty damn happy you are getting naked in front of him and not that you have some extra skin. Men.

Carol, this is a great topic to post.  I am in a similar position.  I have been dating (finally!) a wonderful man for the past 6 weeks or so.  I am very proud of my weightloss and considering where I came from, I think my body looks pretty darn good...even with the loose skin. My abs actually have a 2 pack and I'm working my way to 6! LOL!

However, I am very concerned that he will be turned off by the loose skin,  I know this guy is a good man, but men are stimulated visually and I know I would be mortified if he was repulsed by the sight of my body.  I did tell him about my surgery so he knows, but knowing and seeing are two different things.

I have thought about the lingerie idea and that would probably work for a while, so maybe that's the place to start.

Anyway, just wanted to say I understand and I'm going through the same thing.

Good luck!

Lia

 Carol, honey, you and I are of a "certain age."    I was 47 when I started dating again, and even though I didn't date a ton of men before meeting my husband, I was honest with them from the get-go about my surgery.   I figured, I might as well weed them out right at the beginning.      I usually told them after a few dates.   It seems to have had no effect on any of them, and they still continued to chase me even after I'd come clean.      One thing I realized, that at our ages, NO woman, unless she's been under the PS knife or has lived in a gym for the past thirty years, is going to meet the male image of the ideal body.   Most men our age are mature enough to honor that, and are usually pretty darn happy that someone just wants them!     My now husband never batted an eye at my saggy bod, and still thinks I'm sexy as hell, and I've had no plastics.    

If you don't want to put off sex, then don't put it off for crying out loud!    If you are dating this man exclusively, it's a natural thing to want to move on to further intimacy, and you both deserve to have this time together.     If you truly feel that you are so "ugly" (and I agree, that you look adorable) you might want to spend some time with a counselor to work on your body issues.     Good luck, and above all  - ENJOY yourself.   This guy is not (I hope, and if he does, then dump him!) expecting perfection.

Thank you, Ladies, for your encouragement and support!

He has commented that I eat small portions when we eat and to tell the truth, I usually grab something to eat as soon as I get home because I eat every couple of hours.  So I guess the healthy thing is to explain that I need to eat more frequently and give him the really short-version of why and just not discuss wrinkles at all.

You know, on "Sex in the City," the girls very often keep on their bras....  Maybe I can get away with that since I'm now a 34 LONG instead of a 48 DDD.

In fact, I'm going to buy a sexy, but supportive, bra this weekend, just in case!  Lots of lace and maybe black....

Carol

I can't tell you what to do. i can only tell you where I stand for me.

If I were to dance around the living room nude I would look like a Shar-Pei in a wind tunnel. Not a pretty sight. However!!! When I'm dating someone and we get to the point of getting naked, I feel that if he's sticking around to see it then he really wants to be with me. Not my saggy skin.