Dating and Sex after DS Weight Loss

Ok, friends, no one has seen me without clothes (other than my doctors and nurses) since 1998, when I was 283 lbs. and size 28.

I'm now 120 lbs, size 4 (I LOVE my DS) and just starting to date for the first time since my divorce in 1997.  I look pretty good in clothes.

I have been dating a really nice man for about a month. 

I have a lot of questions:  how long can I put off sex before he moves on?  (He's not pushy - but he is affectionate.)  My body is saggy and I have lots of extra skin so I feel "ugly."  I cannot afford plastic surgery.  Should I tell him about my WLS and if so, when?  This seems to be such a complication I'm almost thinking about stopping the dating thing.  Except that he's so sweet to me and fun to be with.

Who else has experienced this challenge and how did you deal with it?  Any advice is welcome!

Carol

Im not post op but i will say you are adorable! The BEST relationships are built on honesty. If he is someone you are considering being intimate with i would think things are somewhat serious (maybe) and he's into YOU...from what i understand most men dont really care so much about the saggy skin, usually they are just excited to be geting some!!! haha.

I would just be honest with him and if your not comfortable explaining the surgery just tell him you lost a lot of weight and now have some saggy skin that make you feel uncomfortable to be naked with him. IF he truly want YOU and not your body he is not gonna care:)

Be PROUD of your accomplishment! You have ROCKED your surgery! Now go stand in front of your mirror in the buff and tell yourself you are gorgeous and deserve a man that will love you for who you are!!! REPEAT until you believe it:)

I think once you make it thru the first time you will see that there is nothing to worry about.

Again, im not post op so maybe i dont know anthing but i will say you are the woman and you hold all the power so work it!!!

Good Luck i hope it all works out for the best,

jens

 LIKE!!!☝❤

Ginger, you are so cute!  and you are doing great!

Congratulations.

Carol

Jen, you are so sweet!  Thank you for the encouragement!
Carol

Did you know that we have a singles forum here on OH?  NICE folks there!!  I just found it myself.

www.obesityhelp.com/forums/wls_singles/a,messageboard/

~Becky

Thank you, Becky!!!

Carol

Carol,

Have been with my hubby since well before my DS,so I have no personal experience with what you're going through.

However, I encourage you to re-read your post. You are NOT ugly. You lost weight. Good for you! You should feel proud, not ashamed.

If you do not want to have sex right now and he moves on, then good riddance. He's not that great of a guy, then, is he? For sex to be any good, you both have to be ready. I think it would smooth the way if you talked about it upfront, though. I like the idea that you say you lost a lot of weight and are self-conscious about your extra skin but you ARE interested in being more intimate with him. Go with that and see what happens. If he bails, then good riddance.

If you have some disfiguring scar because you survived a horrific fire or breast cancer, I hope you would feel the same. Being formerly obese and having WLS is not a crime. You beat a major health issue with a powerful, life-saving tool. You deserve someone smart and sensitive enough to know that. Give him a chance to be that guy. Don't hide info from him. 

Good luck.

Nicolle

Damn! You're good!

I have my moments.