OT - feeling horrible about being overweight

I'm sorry. What your step daughter is doing is hurtful and very mean. Screw her and her mother. The 4 year old is only doing what she is taught. Unfortunately, most kids are taught the same way. I agree with the person that said to just show her so much love that she'll know what's what.

I kinda touched on this subject tonight on my blog.

You missed the opportunity. You should have said," Well that's just impossible! There is only ONE most beautiful Mommy in the world and that is ME!" Then dance out of the room so you don't have to watch them scooping their jaws off the floor.

Be prepared to say something along those lines should the situation present itself again.

Assume she is offering the most awesome compliment and run with that.

Your husband and your child believe this and you should embrace that truth.

We do all have stories like this. One of my daughter's friends used to ask me why I was so fat--my little girl (5 at the time) would stand up and say, "hey, that's not nice! You're not supposed to ask people that sort of thing, it's mean!"  So, all I can do it hope I raise my babies to be sensitive.  However, inevitably, kids are honest--and I know what I look like.  So, mean or not, it comes from pure innocense.  It sucks, i know.  but, as the members above stated you're looking to do something about it. I look at it like this--I have no more control over whether or not I'm fat than you have of whether or not you've' got blue eyes, a skinny ass, or dark or fair skin.  It was how I was made. My body is happy that way and nothing I do "naturally" will put me in a differnent place with my weight.  So, I'm getting the DS--it'll make me healthier and it'll (hopefully) do to my body what nature never could. 

Hugs, and lots of support coming your way from Cali.

Did you tell the child that her comment wasn't kind, and that it hurt your feelings? 

You can do that without being mean, and it would be a good thing for the child to know
how a careless comment can hurt someone. 

A good time to teach.

You are a good person, and your husband loves you.  He probably doesn't even notice
the things that you hate about yourself.

If the daughter doesn't know how her behaviour affects you, it might not be a bad thing
to gently tell her that you don't care to have photos taken of you without your permission.
And her mother's comments are just sour grapes.

Nolo Carborundum Illegitimatti (Don't let the b******s grind you down)

Hang in there, you'll be looking like a million bucks, then let the ex make her remarks.

Best wishes,

 
 

I'm guessing there is more going on between you two and between you and the ex then you are telling. If you aren't going to fix those problems this is probably going to continue.

I don't think there's issues with my husband's ex as much as a "haha my ex's wife got fat".  I've only met her maybe 4 or 5 times in ten years and that was more than eight years ago.   Step-family issues can be tough and we've had our share of hard times.  We're working hard on a having an enjoyable time while she's here.  I think there was just  a history of weight-related crap and then the comment just sent me off the deep end.  I was just super-upset and knowing others had very similar experiences made it better.  Thanks for your reply.

 How long between him breaking up with his ex and you coming in the picture? Step issues are very tough. 

I think it was like three years total but one of those back and forth over the years.  Not a clean break over that time.  We live like 1800 miles away and have for 7 years.  If there were issues, you'd think they'd be resolved by now.

 Well, that's the feeling I got. That the line was a little hazy as to when he was with her and when he was with you. I'm not saying its right, but I've gone through the same thing w my inlaws, he was still telling things to the wife and living w a girlfriend. So negative things were being said about the girlfriend. I'm not saying its right but from the viewpoint of the wife and kids, its seems a little different than here is this new relationship, you know what I mean? I also get from your viewpoint, you are his wife, the daughter should respect that, but I'm telling you its not that easy. My fil 'cheated' on his wife with his current wife and they have been married for 5 years and we do not have anything to do with her. I'm not saying its right, I'm just telling you there is more to this than them just being rude about your weight.  Its not about your weight, its about their feelings towards you.