Sometimes I get so hung up on the end "number", I forget about the good things...
I've lost just slightly over 150lbs, and have just passed the 50% mark for what I want to lose.
It seems like a lot, but I was SUPER FAT to start with, and still have almost 120lbs to go. (Although I'd be happy to lose just 100 more, truly.)
I get so obsessed with being THERE, being at the end goal, that sometimes I think I lose sight of the things that happen along the way. Sometimes all I think about is that my MIDDLE point is where some people started. It can be frustrating to think how far I have still to go - but I have to remember how far I've come.
I am sitting on a love seat, wearing JEAN SHORTS for the first time in a decade (a 3X - the 4X fell right off, and I'm guessing these 3X will soon, too). My legs are tucked under me, something I could NEVER do before, and I'm wearing my Mom's shirt. I've gone from the largest size pants they sold at Catherine's, to a 24. From a 5/6X top to a 3X, and I wear some 2X as well. I've not been buying new clothes other than 2 pairs of jeans and these shorts - but I am at the point where I HAVE to, because my tops are so baggy I look silly.
Today - I outlasted my MIL and my very fit, very slender SIL while taking my daughter to the museum. I walked all through the playground and walking trail, and up and down flights of stairs and barely broke a sweat. My SIL took a nap and the other 2 are in bed, and it's midnight and I am going strong, even on 5 hours of sleep. :)
I can look at myself in the mirror. I'm not HAPPY with what I see, but it doesn't make me want to cry, either. It sure as hell makes brushing my teeth and combing my hair easier. ;)
I actually have an interest again in things like make-up, skin care regimines, and whether my clothes are stylish or not (instead of just caring that they fit).
My aunt recently (jokingly) greeted me with, "Do I even KNOW you? Who are you?!"
My MIL actually told me I was looking good.
I have ENERGY. It's nice. :)
I have hopes that by Christmas, if I could lose another 20-50lbs, I would love to get a professional photographer to take a picture of me and Lili (my 4-year-old daughter) for the FIRST "family" picture ever. I've never let myself truly be photographed with her, sans my messy c-section pictures and random snaps with cell phones taken under protest.
Also...I'm happier. :)
The end!
It seems like a lot, but I was SUPER FAT to start with, and still have almost 120lbs to go. (Although I'd be happy to lose just 100 more, truly.)
I get so obsessed with being THERE, being at the end goal, that sometimes I think I lose sight of the things that happen along the way. Sometimes all I think about is that my MIDDLE point is where some people started. It can be frustrating to think how far I have still to go - but I have to remember how far I've come.
I am sitting on a love seat, wearing JEAN SHORTS for the first time in a decade (a 3X - the 4X fell right off, and I'm guessing these 3X will soon, too). My legs are tucked under me, something I could NEVER do before, and I'm wearing my Mom's shirt. I've gone from the largest size pants they sold at Catherine's, to a 24. From a 5/6X top to a 3X, and I wear some 2X as well. I've not been buying new clothes other than 2 pairs of jeans and these shorts - but I am at the point where I HAVE to, because my tops are so baggy I look silly.
Today - I outlasted my MIL and my very fit, very slender SIL while taking my daughter to the museum. I walked all through the playground and walking trail, and up and down flights of stairs and barely broke a sweat. My SIL took a nap and the other 2 are in bed, and it's midnight and I am going strong, even on 5 hours of sleep. :)
I can look at myself in the mirror. I'm not HAPPY with what I see, but it doesn't make me want to cry, either. It sure as hell makes brushing my teeth and combing my hair easier. ;)
I actually have an interest again in things like make-up, skin care regimines, and whether my clothes are stylish or not (instead of just caring that they fit).
My aunt recently (jokingly) greeted me with, "Do I even KNOW you? Who are you?!"
My MIL actually told me I was looking good.
I have ENERGY. It's nice. :)
I have hopes that by Christmas, if I could lose another 20-50lbs, I would love to get a professional photographer to take a picture of me and Lili (my 4-year-old daughter) for the FIRST "family" picture ever. I've never let myself truly be photographed with her, sans my messy c-section pictures and random snaps with cell phones taken under protest.
Also...I'm happier. :)
The end!
I was reading this and I know exactly how you feel....What really struck me was when you said that you have started caring about your appearance again.... This struck me...because this is the place that I am at right now... I have totally let myself go over the last few months... nothing fits because I have gained weight and got a total unfill.... and I just dont care... My hair is a mess... and my toes have not had a pedi all summer.... this is not me at all and it becomes this dark place that you feel like you cant climb out of.... Another great thing about this is that I know that there is hope that I will come out of this place... that I can... Thank you...
-Jody
-Jody
Original LapBand Surgery - 07/26/06- DS Surgery - 08/16/2011
HW/LW/SW/CW/GW
289/195/277.5/242.5/170
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