I'm A Little Verklempt! I'll Give You A Topic: DSers,Why are They Sew Meen? Talk Amongst...

I have been posting on the VSG boards lately asking questions and have been invited to go on to the RNY boards to "recruit" people for the DS.  Just because I said something about there being other alternatives than RNY.    (For some reason I have noticed some think it is either band/VSG/RNY over there... not alot of info on the DS.)

But, I have not been recruiting, just telling the truth.   I have a VSG tummy, and have had a lapband, so why can't I tell them how each feels and how much better it is now?  But, when I put in the extra stuff about the DS I am the devil or something...

Maybe, I am too nice...

How dare you burst their bubble? You MEENIE.

Ah **** - my DS must be broken... I'm not mean yet.   I'll work on it and get back to ya'll

I seen the SNL talk in earlier posts but wanted to respond about the meanness,lol

I am 10 months post op. I don't think I'm "mean", just passionate!!
I have a new found confidence and don't take ANYONE'S **** anymore!! I will not be disrespected, nor will my DH or kids. Some people don't like this but frankly my dear, I don't give a damn,lol. My husband says I like to argue. That's not the case. When I see things differently then others I stand my ground. I no longer back down and just let it go. NO ONE is gonna use me for a door mat, those days are over. I'm not talking about my DH, he's great. He just pointed out that I argue my point more now. When it comes to the same people I guess I can be "mean" but again, don't give a damn. I guess I just really don't care what other people think anymore and people in my everyday life haven't gotten use to that yet. But I think I'm still a very caring person, just don't **** me off!!


Ruby

p.s. With much research, I'm very passionate about the DS! I'm not as DS savvy as most but I know who to ask for help, for myself and others. I learn EVERYday!!

I am taking the meaning of this thread as why DSrs are perceived as mean. IMHO, there is a 'selection bias' for those that do well with the DS. There seem to be some pretty consistent traits even amongst the "good and bad cops": analytical, questions authority, pushes for answers, self advocates, encourages autonomy for others, research oriented (regardless of education or employment background, etc) I can go on. Good, bad, or other- DSrs will 'put it out there.'

I think the real issue here is delivery because if you take the message from the good cops and bad cops and whittle it down to the take away message it's the same. If you don't like their delivery- then block them (although beware you might miss out on some good feedback). Keep in mind that as a patient with a DS who WILL need to advocate on their behalf when it comes to medical care, you may potentially face a lot more difficult situations than some anonymous person on this board (who you could not pick out of a lineup if they were they only person in it) crawling your ass about something.

And I don't divide the DSrs by good cop and bad cop but rather by "who knows their **** and who doesn't." If I needed help I wouldn't care if they telegraphed the message on my ass with a cattle prod.

You want to avoid 'mean' DSrs? Try to at least make an effort to research your question because it has probably been asked (I bet if you had to pay them for their time you would do a little digging yourself first). If you ask for their advice, follow it. Don't preach or try and dictate behavior on the board- it doesn't go over well. And last but not least, if for some reason you incur the wrath of the board don't post a message to the effect about all the people that have privately contacted you to express their support about the 'board bullies'. It's one of the worse cliches I've seen. And it is usually followed by a deactivation.

Ann

 STANDING OVATION!!