I'm A Little Verklempt! I'll Give You A Topic: DSers,Why are They Sew Meen? Talk Amongst...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kvIxOSb2jCQ&feature=related    this is pretty funny.  Linda Richmond goes on stage with Barbara and they both become verklempt.

 Do you notice that's Madonna? :)

Yes.. Madonna and Rosanne.  lol.  Gina's hulu version shows the full clip.  Too funny.
 

I'll give an explanation.

A few of us are self-appointed Bad Cops.  We say provocative things about the DS, deliberately, to get people's attention.  And then the Good Cops come in behind us to explain, to soften, to deliver in a different tone of voice.  It is a very effective technique for getting The Word out.

This device also works in rebutting stupidity we see here.  Someone says something stupid, and the Bad Cops call it out bluntly, while others say it more softly.  One way or another, not only the OP, but also those who might have been tempted to do the same stupid thing are educated - they benefit from the shock value of the OP being told bluntly.

Different people hear and understand things different ways.  The Sew Meen Bad Cops use their blunt posts to grab attention - whether anyone in particular learns from either those posts or the follow up Good Cop posts, makes no nevermind to me - but someone almost always learns something.  Getting them to notice the topic in the first place, however, can be expedited by creating a bit of controversy.

PS: Yes, I kinda enjoy being a Bad Cop.  I get to exercise my stifled snarkiness.  In real life, I'm not all that confrontational, and in my professional life as a patent attorney, I am under an obligation to be significantly more cordial and courteous than most attorneys are, because my "adversary" is the Patent Office, representing the People, and not an opposing party.  So I like being the Bad Cop, especially since there is a good reason for doing it - sort of like with celebrities, (almost) any publicity is good publicity, if it gets the DS into the awareness of the newbies.

 The way I'm taking this post is not an insinuation that all DS'ers are "mean," but why do they have the reputation as being mean?    I'm certainly not mean, but I am direct, and I usually try to be so in a tactful kind of way.     As Diana terms it, I'm not a "bad cop" but I'm not always a "good cop" either.

I think we have the rep of being mean on other boards because we often defend our surgery to the point of stridency.   Sometimes, it's the only way to get our point across.   I am still amazed at the lack of knowledge of the DS, even amongst regulars on OH, especially in regard to malnutrition and diarrhea issues.     People who have been hanging out on the main boards for YEARS will still perpetuate some of the DS myths, and we'll often take the bait they dangle in front of us and chomp it to death.      When they do that?  Yeah, I can get mean.   For the average newbie on the DS boards though, I consider myself pretty patient.    I can handle newbie ignorance, and I usually ignore newbie neediness, but I'll smack someone down who comes on these boards and become an uppity newbie who smacks people down or preaches to us.   Ugh.

My meanness reputation is partly well earned. I am impatient and scarcely suffer fools at all, not just "not gladly."

I expect new people to make big efforts to find their own damned information and not insist on being repeatedly spoonfed. For an average adult, one spoonfeeding in this wild new world should be a great plenty to get them started down the road to learning. Then I expect them to come back and ask questions about the new information they acquire.

I also have zero tolerance, no make that far below zero tolerance, for being preached at. That's a personal matter, but I'm not going to soft pedal it in this environment. You don't like my delivery? Tough **** My (at last count) over 1,700 pages of posts on this site show well enough that I'm devoted to informing and helping where I can. If that's negated for you by my delivery, then use your block button and go on about your life. Don't waste your breath whining that I'm not saying things the way you want to hear them.

I have opinions on almost everything. I have particularly strong opinions about RNY and crap band: They are butchery. I can back that up with a hell of a lot of professional material if I'm in the mood. Sometimes I'm not in the mood. I'm not required to change moods to suit some reader. But bottom line is THAT IS MY OPINION. It is worth the pixels it took to type it. I KNOW this. Funny how so many readers seem to think I don't.

It's kind of amusing that a lot of folks put me in the Bad Cop category with Diana lol. I'm not good enough at it to begin to qualify as a proper Bad Cop. But like Diana, you bet I know I get snarky. It's generally done with good-natured intent unless you're being a forum nanny/preacher or you're on the highway to DS destruction. Then it isn't.

The other thing that amuses me is how certain people completely miss all the hand holding and there-thereing that I do daily. Nope, I'm a wild crazy psychotic freak. Oh well. Their loss, or not. I. Don't. Care. And neither should they. The Internet is a big place and so is this one. Just go on about your life fergawdsakes.

My ten cents on meeeeeenness.

I think its hilarious. By no means, are all dsers 'mean'. I think most of us are analytical in nature and tend to no bull**** or sugar coating. hmph. I enjoy the banter. It is funny though, I grew super thick skin in the firstyear post op. Probably bc no ds surgeon in Fl and I have to handle everything myself. I definitely have low bull**** tolerance now.

I post on the VSG board pretty regularly, and the ridculously negative reactions I get when I even MENTION the DS in a positive light is insane. Of the people I know who have me blocked, I would bet at LEAST 90% of them are VSGers who got their panties in a wad when I tried to share some *gasp* factual information about the DS to pre-ops asking questions on the VSG board.

Not to say ALL VSGers are that crazy - I have quite a few friends on the VSG board - but the ones who are certainly take the cake, and, of course, make me out to be the big bad DSer. I've even been accused of having changed my surgery type to "other" simply so VSGers would think I had a VSG instead of a DS. Umm, if I wanted people to think I had a VSG, wouldn't I change my surgery type to, oh, I don't know...VSG?! I did, in fact, change my surgery type to "other" for the benefit of those on THIS board who might notice me not necessarily having the same concerns or questions as most others since I don't have the same amount of intestinal malabsorption.

But I digress...

I'm really not a meanie. I don't resort to name calling or harsh swearing (unless someone attacks me with such first!), but I know full well I can be a bit of a sarcastic ***** and that, even on the internet in writing, my eyerolling tone can come across quite clearly  :P

The VSG ******** screwed their compadres by mommy buttoning the information I was posting about a temporary special deal for self-pay VSG and DS.  I hardly ever block anyone (I think I have 15 people blocked, at least 2/3 of those being long-dead troll accounts), but I blocked a couple of those ********

I was trying to be fair, to make sure VSG pre-ops got just as much of a chance for the opportunity as DSers, and because the VSGs count exactly as much as DSs for the purpose of the opportunity (getting COE status), even though they are less hassle, expense and risk for the surgical team.  I kind of felt like Anita going to the soda shop in West Side Story when I got attacked.

But after that, I figured **** 'EM.  Since then, our underground network has generated mostly DS referrals, and I feel great about that.

I figure the ******** are just hungry and sick of dieting and fighting regain and worried they made a mistake.  And jealous.

Honestly, as a newbie myself.  I don't think I have found anyone being mean, to the point of rudeness.  I have found your information INVALUABLE!!  Actually speaking to people who have had this surgery and know the ins and outs of it is such a huge help.  I have looked into the other surgeries, however the DS is the way to go (for me).

And hey, if I get whiney or ask stupid questions PLEASE let me know.  I try to look up previous questions in the forum, but sometimes I miss the answer to my questions. 

I would certainly LOVE to have each and every one of you in my corner when I go through this life changing surgery.