Wayyyy OT: My daughter has ADHD and Depression

Oh Ruby, what a terrifying thing to go through - for you all. *hugs* A good therapist with a license should be able to help y'all with setting up a behavior plan to help her get a handle on some of the impulse-control issues. I know the meds are scary, but as long as she's closely monitored, they are truly helpful.

I'm so sorry to hear of this, Ruby, that is so sad.  I will definitely say a prayer for her and your family.  It might not be a bad idea to actually chart or journal her symptoms & possible side effects for when you f/u with her doctors.  It's so easy to forget something you meant to mention, we've all done it, even when it is important. 

I think that you should feel free to post here.  While there are a lot of lurkers, there's many of us who post regularly & we've all gotten to know each other's lives to a degree - we are a source of support and you should use us!!

*HUGE HUGS*

 

I grew up with ADHD and depression.  It stinks but with the right combo of meds the effects can not be as harsh.  She has a good mom and that makes a world of difference.  Although my om was awesome medically our choices had been very limited when I was a kid so my mom could only help but so much.  

My son also has ADHD and we're starting to see some anxiety or possible OCD behavior (constantly checking the door to make sure it's locked, always worrying).  He's been on Concerta and we hated it.  EVERY CHILD IS DIFFERENT though and each child reacts to meds differently.  Right now he's on Intuniv which is a non stimulant ADHD med which we love.  He also takes herbal supplements. 

I used to take Celexa and I LOVED it.  It's the only depression med that EVER worked for me.  My insurance doesnt cover it so I have to see a specialist to get it.  

Going through all of this can be super stressful for you so make sure you're taking time out for yourself.  As hard as that might be you can't be at your best for everybody if your not at your best for yourself.  

 

If you need to talk msg me.  *hugs*

Hi Ruby.  We had similiar issues with my son right around that same age as well.  We also tried Concerta (among others) but he ended up taking Vyvanse because the dosing allowed him to get an amount better suited for him.  (With Concerta it was either too high (zomibie-like) or too low (extremely impulsive).  He also took Clonodine for a few years.  The good news is he's 14 years old now and we've seen a huge improvement in his symptoms.  He actually hasn't had to take the Vyvanse now for almost four months.  We may have to see about his taking it again once the school year starts but for now, it seems like he is learning to deal with ADD better on his own.  It may be a rough couple of years, but I do believe that as they get older the symptoms become more manageable.  Best of luck to you and please always feel free to reach out.

I too have ADHD as well as my daughter....I went down the same road you are now traveling.  The meds are a godsend....many people do not like to "drug" their kids but the alternative is sometimes worse.  The meds will allow your daughter to focus in school and have a better chance at making and keeping friends.
I too have a strong family history of mental illness on my late mother's side of the family. My son tried to commit suicide twice when he was a teen and ended up spending 10 days in a mental health wing at the local hospital.  He was diagnosed with severe depression. 
I wanted to mention that I have tried every drug on the market for ADHD in order to find one that worked well....I now take Adderrall.  I just wanted to mention that one drug I tried was originally out just for kids and worked very well for me.  It is the Daytrana patch and I have recommended it to many people. I had so side effects taking it....the reason I stopped was I could not get it to stay in place on my left side due to being morbidly obese...it would stay in place on the right though.
Just take it one day at a time and I hope you have a good neurologist for your daughter...that's the key....a good doctor.
Sending many hugs,

Valerie

I have no advice.

Just know I'm thinking of you both.

 Hi Ruby, 

When I read your original post, I wondered if your daughter was being bullied.  Then I saw your second post and thought wow, my feelings may be right.  I'm so sorry you have to go through this.  Please know you are not alone, and there can be hope at the end of the rainbow 

I have went through a similar experience with 2 children.  One was my adopted daughter, the other is my biological 10 year old daughter.  It took time, a lot of heart-ache, counseling, etc. but we made it through for both girls.

My adopted daughter was sexually, physically, and emotionally abused before she became my foster then later adopted daughter.  She came to live with me when she was 6 years old.  Due to her abuse she had a number of mental health problems...depression, anxiety, PTSD (post-traumatic stress disorder) ADHD, dystemic disorder (basically violent outbursts of behavior), etc.  She was only bullied at school once, but she snapped when it happened.  When she retalitated she beat the girl up pretty bad as well as assaulted a teacher that tried to break the fight up.  Needless to say, it never happened again.  As she got older, and therapy continued, many of her her diagnoses improved.  By the time she was 15 and entering high school she was off meds and allowed to discontinue therapy.  She is now 22, recently married (too young imo, but in a healthy relationship), and has a successful career. 

My biological daughter (now 10 almost 11), tried to hang herself from a tree in the yard with her jump rope (she was 8).  Sound a little familiar?  After the event I started taking her to see a child psychologist.  Meanwhile, she was having issues in school.  The school tested her and stated she had ADHD.  I asked the child psychologist if he could test her for ADHD...which btw many insurance companies require a psychologist to test for an accurate diagnosis, not a school social worker.  The results for ADHD were negative and more accurately she had an anxiety disorder.  The school wanted me to medicate her for ADHD, so I had to get records from the psychologist to prove the school had misdiagnosed her.  It was a mess.  Over the course of 3 school years (third, fourth, and fifth grade) we found out she was getting bullied by 3 girls in particular.  It was affecting her self esteem, her grades in school, relationships with her peers, and moods at home.  (At my daughter's school a 6th grade boy recently commited suicide for being bullied so this is common in some schools.)  I talked to the staff at the school to handle it several times.  Things would go well a few days or weeks then return to normal (her being bullied).  So finally I went on a field trip with my daughter's class, asked my daughter who the girls were that picked on her, and approached the girls.  Yeah call me the mom bully LOL but I told the girls if my daughter has anymore problems with them that I would be contacting the principal and their parents and that they would be kicked out and probably in big trouble at home.  Then I got them all (my daughter included) a treat while on the trip.  The next day they all told my daughter her mom was nice  but scared them a little.  Now the girls are still not the best of friends...but they all tolerate each other which makes life a little easier on my daughter.  Her grades are starting to improve and I don't have to fight with her to make her go to school anymore.  She continues to see the private psychologist, but her coping skills, communication skills, etc are all improving.  Recently she commented on how her psychologist, that she calls by first name, is so nosey, asks too many personal questions, and is always trying to get in her business!  LOL  Perhaps there's more progress there 

My point is, keep sending your daughter to therapy.  If you want a second opinion, get one.  There is nothing wrong with covering all the bases.  Make sure the people that give her any diagnosis are aware she is being bulllied in school or if there are any issues at home (like the loss of a loved one).  The bullying alone can cause so many mental health problems.  Talk to the staff at the school about your daughter being bullied...threaten the school if you have to if things are not done and it continues, or try what I did and approach the kids.  I think too many people are afraid to approach other people's children.  When I was a kid, the neighbor could yell at you and it was no problem.  I think it takes a community to raise a child (and yes mostly the child's parents) but your children need to learn to respect other adults too.  As long as you do not physically discipline the bullies I see no problem in talking to them and telling them your intent, which is especially effective in kids under 12!   Stay as proactive as you can in your daughter's life with everything she does.  Praise her for little things, talk to her, be a good listener, and validate her feelings.  It will take time, yes there will be heart-ache at times, but I promise you it can get better.  You are doing great with this already...you said it yourself "We just take it day by day."  

(((HUGS)))

~Roxy

Oh and before I forget, depending on where you live, there may be support groups for parents of children with depression and/or ADHD available in your area.  I would ask the professionals currently working with your daughter.  If they don't know of anything, you could always make a few phone calls.  It's really worth looking into.

 Ruby, 

It's so humbling for me to hear the seemingly insurmountable things that people are dealing with.  Wow...  wow.  I have a thought and am not suggesting it as a fix fix but maybe a few steps closer to a fix type fix.  Have you gotten your daughter tested for food allergies?  Allergies can have some big effects on people, not just the runny nose and swollen eyes kind of stuff.  If she's allergic to gluten and she came off of it, maybe it would help to settle her nerves just a little and get your just a couple steps closer to your goal.  Just an example, my friend's daughter breaks out in hives from anxiety so she has to take an anti-anxiety med.  But, they just recently learned that she's allergic to peanut butter and she loves peanut butter. But, one of the effects was that it was breaking her out in hives!  Now, yes, she does break out in hives from anxiety... but not all the hives were triggered by anxiety.  It's just a thought.  Hope it helps!

Elia

Thank you so much, Everyone! It means so much to me! We have her in with a child therapist who she adores and a child psychiartist. He is highly recommended and they only work with children/minors. It is a total Youth Services Center. She really is showing signs of significent improvenment since starting the medication. We are totally taking advantage of ALL options to make this the best situation it can be. Love you all!

Ruby

Hi Ruby...
First let me start with this {{{ HUGE HUGS}}}  ...
My daughter is 6 years old and was initially diagnosed with ADHD with and underlying anxiety disorder... then in addition to the she was diagnosed with Autism (Aspbergers) ...
I have her on meds... and I struggle with it all the time... but she is not able to get her proper education without the meds.... She is sad at times... but I don't see her as a danger to herself....
I am so sorry to hear about your daughter... I just want you to know that I understand the struggle with putting your kids on meds... you wonder if you are doing the right thing....
I don't have any good advice... but I wish you and your daughter the best.... the my prayers that things will get better....

If you need to... get a second and 3rd opinion... have her tested and re-tested....
You are the advocate for your child....

I wish you the best.....