I'm pretty darn proud of myself!!! *Encouragement for DS revisions*

Being 475lbs was uncomfortable, lonely, and intimidating.  It didn't matter how many people said I was smart of had a "cute face" because I was not living.  When you're so severely, morbidly obese most often you're just existing in a vicious cycle of self loathing, misery and insecurity. 

Weight loss surgery changed my life in ways I never imaged.  A whole new world was opened up to me.  I learned to live!  It took years to lose that first 250lbs with my band and at times it still didn't feel good enough.  Nevermind the fact that I was flying in airplanes comfortably, riding roller coasters, climbing waterfalls and feeling like I finally belonged. 

Even worse than the isolation of being 475lbs is the the fear for regain.  All of a sudden as the scale creeps back up the accomplishment is appreciated.  How far you've come is realized.  Gaining back 105lbs of 250lbs lost is sobering.  Why didn't I give myself the credit I should have?  Why wasn't I good enough for me? 

Today, I feel like I'm on the right track with the best tool for me and my situation.  It's the tool I should have had to begin with, but everything happens in the matter it's supposed to happen.  There were lessons that had to be learned to appreciate the second chance I've been given. 

48lbs of those 105lbs gained are gone.  Forever!  I will not accept them back.  I'm learning not to compare my journey with anyone else's because my journey belongs specifically to me and what's meant for me is FOR ME! 

I just wanted to share my personal reflection because I'm done beating myself up over what went wrong in the past and forgetting to appreciate today.  Yes, there have been stumbles along the way, but how can I not celebrate how far I've come!!!!


 

You rock, Alysia!



--gina

That was a wonderful post. Congratulations!!!!!!!!!!!!! I completely understand how you feel.

*Like* This is a very timely post, at least for me and I appreciate your thoughts. Congratulations on your continued success!

Thanks Ann and good luck to you on your revision!

well I do have to say you are very pretty......gaining weight is a very sobering experience, I try not to compare myself to others either, but sometimes it is difficult.  you should celebrate how far you have come, it is a great journey and I am sure you feel like you hve been given another chance at life, as I do 

What a beautiful post!  Thank you for this.  It came at very good timing for me personally :) 

Everyday that you come along on your DS journey, as the weight creeps off more & more, I believe the feeling of appreciation and acceptance for yourself grows.  It's like an inverse, linear relationship :)

I love your attitude.  I think that positivity is best for the soul, for those around you, and most of the time, you'll receive it back from those who enjoyed your sunshine.

I read your background and we've had a lot of the same experiences in our FAT life...i also have been wearing lane bryant clothes since elementary school (and my are their clothes so ugly sometimes! i cant wait NOT to have to shop there!) I also have a band and im also revising to the DS!!!

You story is so inspirational to me! thank you for your post! AND you are soo beautiful!

Thanks Jenn!  OMG....Lane Bryant clothes were HORRIBLE when I was in 5th grade, awful printed shirts and khakis

So glad I could send some inspiration your way!