Can't Stand Formerly Fat Friend

Yup, I was nodding off at the time and knew if i waited to post it, I would forget. But I didn't have the energy to write my own opinion.

I agree, that regain comment really grated on my nerves. But, then again, they ARE talking about the RnY here...

I was on the other side of this situation as I lost my weight. I was discovering an entire different person within myself and in retrospect, I was COMPLETELY annoying. I would feel new bones and concave places where before it protruded...and the clothes! I wa****ting all the thrift shops and dressing most likely too sexy for someone my age-and a single mom of 2 teens. I did lose some friends along this journey- all after the surgery.

I cannot blame the DS. I was seeing a therapist and perhaps she was not right for the situation. She encouraged my behavior as healthy and explained that perhaps these weren't true friends. I let them pass by the wayside and ended up realizing that it was ME who wasn't being a true friend. I was very self-consumed and only focused on my food intake, exercize (my new/transferrd addiction at the time), and how I looked. I became someone who I could admire for my strength, but paradoxically, someone who I didn't like at all.

I would check in with your friend from time to time, if I were you. If she's like most of us, she'll come around after the weight loss is no longer the main focus in her mind. I really miss my friends from before and wish we would have remained in conact- even if it was only so that we could get together after I got off my 'me train.'

Good luck to you!
Donna

Hi Donna,

I was wondering have you considered going back to those friends and sharing with them what you shared here?  If they are TRUE friends, I bet they'd cut you some slack and you could see the relationships restored  :-).

Christy

My first impression was that Prudence needs to be ***** slapped by encouraging the wait for the supposed inevitable weight  re-gain.  (Yeah, I admit that I wish that for Oprah, but I see her dieting as more of a markering gimmick for her latest whatever she's trying to sell.)  So while I may be wrong about Oprah, the friend could be wrong about her formerly fat friend.  We only have one side of the story and so does Prudence.  Or maybe Formerly Fat is obnoxious. God, know I was when I quit smoking.  Real friends work things out between themselves or one goes to therapy.  There's way too many dynamics at play here to turn to some newspaper advice columinist.  Seriously.