A new kind of hangover

OMG... I can't believe you did that! I had to cover my mouth not to laugh out loud here at work. But tears are still streaming down my face. That is just priceless. I will keep it in mind for later.. muahahahahaha!

 LOL- OMG that was me last weekend after taking my daughter to her college of choices Open House. She wants to be a Pastry Chef, so if you live anywhere near us and want to go the small college way, it's Paul Smith's College. They served us danish the baking & pastry class had made. Then because of flooding in the next town over their bake sale for the weekend got cancelled, so they had a huge bake sale....who can resist cupcakes for 50 cents each? Or Lemon/Rasp pinwheels, or fresh baked bread (no, I did not eat all three at once! ) But what I did eat after my lunch at the chinese buffet didn't have my family loving me that evening, or the next day. :)

 My husband has NO sense of smell, and even he just said to me a few hours ago, "Hun, your farts were brutal last night!"    Then of course, what'd he want for dinner tonight?   Pizza!   I told him to be prepared to pay the consequences if that's what we got.

 My 5yo nephew went home Saturday evening and said "Wow, Aunt Tina's a good farter, she can clear a room!!!" My brother and sil thought he was joking, I haven't corrected them. ;)

 If I lived closer, I'd offer to pull your finger and help you out!  

I got home from work the other day and walked into a green cloud in our living room.  Tracy was cutting farts left and right.  I finally looked at her after about the 5th fart in less than 3 minutes and asked, "OK!  What did you eat today?"  It was like a confessional after that!  I'm surprised she didn't shart that night.  

Right or wrong, I have discovered if I'm going to throw caution to the wind and eat a lot of highly-processed carbs I'd better eat some ice cream with it or something equally as sugar-laden.  It seems to push everything right through me (literally) and the fartfest only lasts for a couple of hours and it's over with because I'm clean as a whistle.  It's kind of my own little pastry purgatory. . .



 

 OMG Steve, I  never thought of doing something like that, and now that you mention it, I have experienced that before, just not consciously.   I have been known, when I get constipated, to break out the Jelly Beans though.   Works like a charm.

I get the same thing from my DH and kids.    My daughter will go, "Moooommmmmmm - what did you EAT today?"

Humm... now you got me thinking. I have done that before, but never consciously. For example if I eat french bread I will get the toots and then I will end up with DHR a couple of hours later and that will be the end of it. Lots of other things just give me the toots and bloating for hours on end and no actual relief. I just might have to try this during those emergency situations where I actually have to interact with people and I can't get the gas to stop. Thanks Steve!

LOL!  Julie, you cracked me up on this one!  Thanks for the great laugh!  Being a teacher myself, I just want to ask you HOW you handle ripping a SBD one in the classroom?  I have gotten really good at spraying spray under my desk if I am sitting there! 

The other night when I was at our prom, I was in a group of about 8 people and couldn't hold one in.  I just acted like nothing happened.  When the other teacher and I were walking away... I said Peeeeeewwwww!  "She said I know!  Wonder who it was?" 

My students are making chili this week in their cooking labs.  WATCH OUT!  I better get an extra can of spray! 

 I'm usually pretty good about timing my carbs for later in the day, but yesterday was an inservice day and we had carbs presented to us from 7:30 a.m. on!

I think the only time I've ever had any uncontrollable farts have been when I've eaten something with mallitol - so I learned to not do that.     Sometimes I'll let a couple loose on my prep hour and I spray both my desk seat and the surrounding area with Ozium.    

 LOL!! you guys crack me up.  I'm sitting here laughing out loud.  I had pretty good "pipes" before surgery. Laughing about these stories has my family scared to death!!!