"No One Teaches You What It's Like to Be on Maintenance"

A very wise DS'er, someone who I really admire and is a vet of about 3 years, said that to me over dinner a few months ago.  At first I didnt know what she meant.  I was thinking of maintenance in terms what you eat, like Weigh****chers maintenance diet- thinking, sure, you get to add a few more carbs and watch your weight, no big deal.

Nope, that's not what she really meant. 

It came up in the context of myself and another DS'er, still in our weight loss window, marveling at the loss and all the Wow's.  The vet interupted us and said she wanted to talk about maintenance, and how no one teaches you what it means to be in maintenance.

What she went on to explain is that the day comes when your weight loss dramatically slows down, or stops, and the struggles people might have in recognizing it for what it is.  She went on to relate that when it stops, you are left wondering if it's you and what you're doing - and that you can make yourself crazy trying to change it up - eliminating carbs, adding carbs, exercising, pushing fluids....whatever it takes to try to lose more.  She said no one tells you how to recognize when your body is at or near it's goal, and that it's hard not to make yourself crazy trying to control it.

She also went on about some of the emotional aspects - how the "high" of people constantly telling you that you look great goes away once people accept the new you. 

I really listened to what she said, and now find myself in the same place.  I have an analogy in my head of the past year being a rollercoaster, and my ride now being that tame part at the end as the car is coasting back to the platform.  The excitement is over and you see the hard stop ahead.  I'm kind of sad about that.

By the numbers, I should be thrilled with my results.  I lost 96% of my excess weight, and am 5 pounds from a normal BMI.  I lost 3 pounds last month so I'm pretty sure I can make it.  But another part of me sees my scale bouncing up and down between the same 3 pounds over and over again.  I know I'm near the end.  I try to think normal BMI is an arbitrary number and try not to make it the focus, but damn I want to hit that goal.

Anyway, not really a question in this post, just some rambling on what it feels like, and a shout out to my DS vet and friend, who doesnt come here a lot but if she does ...(hugs to you my friend, you were right)

Here's me in size 8 pants.  I feel like a hypocrite thinking this is not good enough:

Thanks for posting this. I have been dealing with a lot of feelings lately related to this. Still not quite sure if I have words to express it.
Ya know, for so long, it's always about my weight. If I was fat, it was about that. When I was dieting, it was about that. When I was researching surgery, it was that. When I was in the insurance hoop-jumping phase, it was that. Then it was the surgery/recovery part. It moved onto the ongoing weight loss phase. For a while, it was about malnutrition and recovering from it. Now....what? So this is it. I used to always think that losing weight would make everything better. In many ways, it has. But in the end, in many ways, I realize that it's not about food, scales, BMI's, etc...

I am enjoying discovering me. It's sometimes terrifying and sometimes exhilarating. Sometimes, it rather boring.

As for the maintenance eating part. I find myself in awe at how simple it is and how much fun. I had rather spend time figuring out something I enjoy eating that's good for my DS, than drooling over something not as good for me. I find this to be a GREAT relief. I was so worried I would get "there" and then just start eating like a maniac. I do have a mild sense of impending doom at times, wondering when I'll sabotage this. I get the same feeling when the scales go up a pound for a day. It was terrifying the first few times, now I am starting to feel the eb and flow of my body.

Always a journey huh?

You seem like a very grounded person Joanne while you may want to get into a 6 or even a 4 I am sure you know that 8 is great! I think your going to handle the transition to normalcy pretty well.
To use the example of the rollercpaster, your day at the park is not defined by one ride. You may love the ride and have good memories but it's all part of a fun (and expensive) day out.
In life I am sure that you never let your weight define who you were when you were overweight, and it's not going to define who you are now that you are an average Jo. The weight loss is fun and exciting, but in the end it's just one part of our lives... Enjoy it

 Where's the like button when you need it? 

 I think that it probably feels the same for anyone with something that has taken up a large portion of their time and energy. Whether you have leukemia, obesity, or are an Olympian... when it's time to move on I think it's normal to have a moment (or a thousand of them) of feeling like "where do I go from here". As well as a few "Am I really done?" moments (Brett Favre comes to mind). 
I can't empathize yet, but I suspect that it's much like anything else. You have to take it day to day, and just accept whatever feelings you have as they come. 
Hugs.
(And btw: You look FABULOUS!)

Even if you get to goal or below, maintenance is a new beast.

I've lost weight many times and NEVER maintained so this whole maintenance thing is uncharted territory for me.

I agree it isn't discussed enough.

Jenna Lynn does a monthly carb count which sounds like a good tool to use.

I know I've gone a bit carb crazy and probably need to rein them in.

I don't want the dreaded rebound weight gain. Do you think it is unavoidable?

I'm glad you posted this. I hope lots of vets will comment and help those of us who are new to maintenance figure this part out.

Hi Becky, my take (for what its worth) on the bounceback is that it seems to be most pronounced on those who actually need it! I got way too skinny at 115lbs at 5ft6 after all my complications, so I did bounce back and I think I needed it badly!. My happy weight is about 135lbs and apart from recently (I stress ate on 7lbs by eating so much crap you wouldnt believe, (Sour Gummy bears are the devil BTW!), I can stay around there without too much problem. I usually weigh once or twice at the most each week and keep an eye on it that way. Although these days my clothes are actually a better indicator of when I've put on a few pounds. I went back to low carb eating for a few days and those 7lbs have vanished, my tummy feels more agreeable and I feel less weighed down generally and I'm back at my happy weight.
 
No doubt I will overindulge over Christmas but thats OK, I can take it off again with my trusty DS!! Kind of takes the anxiety out if it for me and I no longer see gaining a few pounds as making me some kind of failure. Normal people lose and gain a few pounds throughout the year too!!

Yorkie xx

Hey Yorkie,

I'm hoping you are right. My BMI is 21.5 which is right in the middle of "normal." I don't think I'm too thin, but my face would look a lot better if I gained 10 lbs. I'd rather dream of a facelift than trade my jeans in for a larger size, but if it happens I'll survive.

PS How did the dinner with the buyer go? I missed an update after that.

Hey Becky, I'm with you on the face/body thing. I think it was catherine Denevue who said that after a certain age a woman has to choose which part looks better , her face or her backside!! lol  Life's full of tough choices!!lol

The dinner was a complete waste of time. I had to drive 40 minutes on the Turnpike to get to the stupid restaurant, sit there with him talking about himself all evening and he still hasnt made any noises about actually buying the business! I gave him a file with the figures in when I got to the place and he just put them on the seat next to him and said "oh I dont feel like talking about business tonight, lets just get to know each other", excuse me while I vomit you creep!!! all in all a waste of a perfectly good evening.

Yorkie xx

Yuck. I'm so sorry. I know how badly you want to sell the business. I bet you feel like I do, trapped in a place you no longer feel like you need to be.

Have you any more interest in the business?