Need a minute to vent about the forum, & advice/links for all newbies inside

Gotta say, chica, you scored points with this one!  Very insightful, and I am really glad to see this come out in you.

You / your new guts are back in first grade, and just like any 6 year old, you're going to do / say stupid things (that does not make *you* stupid), and get your hand slapped and time outs.  You can pout & live your day / week / life angry, or just get the f' over it, because the teacher sure as hell has.

Right now you are a dumb little twit (in the DS world).  Don't expect anymore from yourself right now -- nobody else does.  Actually, enjoy it!  Heal & learn.  Absorb all you can --but you can never absorb everything, and you sure aren't going to pay any attention to things that don't pertain to you right now.  That is normal!  You'll be expected to step up soon enough.

You pouted the other day with me, but you took it and moved on.  You didn't block me, remove me from your friends, and you keep showing up.  Good for you.  This is your place as much as it is anyone else's, but sometimes you need to create your own experience.

In the mean time, keep your own analogy in mind, Ashley, because it is brilliant.  1st graders still have accidents, they still get tired, cry, and lash out, they stumble & scrap their knee, they get their clothes dirty --- they get punished and love & protection from the same people, and they learn & evolve.

Ya know with me, I am a sensitive chick, but throughout this process, I have learned to build a thick skin and I HAVE to take criticism with a grain of salt. After all, it's constructive criticism that is for mine and others benefit. I have to realize that people are dishing out tough love cause I need it especially because I am still in my "new" period right now. And who am I to block someone? That person could post something or respond to someone with something I totally needed to know. I am in NO positiion to deny any information that I can get at this point in my journey.

The thing with me, along with other newbies is, I want the info and I want it yesterday. I have learned that this whole thing is a journey, not a sprint. I, as well as others, cannot be expected to absorb everything in a day and be educated on every possible DS topic there is, that is why I look to all of you for advice on similar experiences.

After all, these are our bodies that we are talking about. I have to live in this body for the rest of my life and want to know all that I can to be able to nurish and provide for it. And the funny thing is is that until now labs and vitamin deficiences really meant not all that much to me. But suddenly I am questioning everything that is going on in my body! I think that has to be because I have, as have so many others, put so much time, effort, and emotion into this journey. I DO NOT WANT TO FAIL. I WILL NOT FAIL MYSELF!!!!!!!!! Yes, I have done dumb things and a few things that I shouldn't have done since surgery food wise, but I take it all as a learning experience and that I want to feel good now and not bad. It is finally time to stop beating myself up and learn to love myself. This is the best place to get my start!

Hopefully one of these days I can get schooled and learn the answer to many questions so I can be of help to people, but as of now I am on a learning basis. But until I can help others, I just have to absorb as much of the great info on this board that I can.

Thanks for all those great links - it's now bookmarked!!

You obviously haven't read Nicolle input on this yet, it is a classic:
www.obesityhelp.com/forums/ds/3998134/Some-of-you-newbies-an d-DS-wannabes **** me-off-LONG-rant/


            I wondered when I would here about that PM you were sure to get from one of your angelettes that I blasted ---- sorry, but she had it coming to her.

The interesting thing?  For as many that don't like my style in all the drama over the last couple days, there are just as many that do, and PMs & friends request to my inbox increase.

We all take on a lot with newbies, Lori, and anyone that doesn't understand that is just ignorant.  We all may have a different style, and some people feel more comfortable with certain personalities than others, but the core group that hangs out giving & giving continues to do so, even when it isn't fully appreciated.

One thing I will add as a helpful hint to pre-ops & newbies:  if you feel the need to wag your finger at a vet providing information because *you* don't like the way the information was delivered --- do yourself a favor and familiarize yourself with the block button and save yourself a lot of grief.


ETA:   I see you included Nicolle's thread above, my bad!
Also, adding what I wrote to you on another thread a few minutes ago:

I admit that I have allowed myself to get sucked into this drama over the last week, and it really chaps my ass --- because it means that people are not getting the attention the rightfully deserve.  I am so far behind on what really matters.  People that feel they can't ask questions because of all this drama?  Well, that is on them --- Nicolle clearly explained the difference (if you missed that thread, it is worth reading, a true classic) and laid out some helpful hints on not being an asshole.

Hi Kim,

Yes, I did hear about it from my angelette, we can talk about that when your phone is back in service.  How da hell can we tal****il you get a new phone??  Do you have a number where I can reach you?  PM me with it if you do.

I hate it when I'm all lost and confused like I feel after being unable to be here for a few days.  It's like missing an episode of your favorite TV show and then wondering what the hell happened.  I agree with you about people not getting the attention that they rightfully deserve.  I have to go back and read Nicolle's post more thoroughly because I really only had time to scan it.

Anyway, I love you girl.  I saw your post on my other thread a minute ago and hope job searching goes well.  Get a new phone, we need to talk!

Lori

I'll PM you P's numbers!

It's a really tough balance to strike. 

The thing is, if newbies like Inky and Michy post 10 threads a day, including misinformation and ignored advice without anyone intervening, I think the board would go downhill fast. Vets would be driven away, newbies would be confused, and important posts would get lost in the shuffle.

Unfortunately, the type of posters who start 10 threads a day and don't seem to absorb the info, also tend to be unreceptive to polite corrections. So, things escalate to a harsher and harsher level, and then other newbies (probably unfamiliar with the history) see the drama and are scared to post. I think the vets also start getting fed-up and wary of trolls.

It's frustrating to watch, but I'm not sure that the alternative of letting everything slide without commentary would be good either. That's just my two cents, anyway.

Your two cents is always pretty damn insightful, Jenna.

I effing love you, Jenna.

I would imagine that the reason you're getting private messages is because you ladies (Lori & Major Mom) are generally very friendly in your posts.  I've seen you tell the truth without being brutal.  I remember my newbie days of lurking and it didn't take long to figure out whose advice I paid attention to and why.

My problem with some newbies, note the some and not all, are the ones who chastise the board for not being what they want us to be.  I cannot be responsible for how they take the answers they get.  If I didn't like reading the brutal responses I saw on the forum I had and still have several choices:  1) Read for content and not style.  2) Ignore those infrequent poster who I find annoying on occasion. (Note again, I'm not calling anyone annoying, I find myself getting annoyed...my reaction.)  3) Block those frequent poster that I find annoying.

It is rather easy to tell who has done some research and is asking for personal experience from the vets.  If someone doesn't want to do the research and wants information spoon fed to them, they need to realize that not all of us are willing to do that.  Do I have the right to expect every single person here to respond to my requests?  No!   I only have the right to post here and take responsibility for how I receive the replies.

I love something Ms. Nicci said and I said I would steal it:  Sometimes it's not all about sunshine and rainbows but common decency and civility.  That goes for anyone who is seeking information as well anyone responding to the request. Often you get back what you put out.

ETA:  While I was typing my long ass reply, several other posts appeared.  I did not mean to imply that only Lori and Major Mom are the only friendly folk. Theirs were the only post I read before I started my long ass reply.