Need a minute to vent about the forum, & advice/links for all newbies inside

Stacey,

Let me provide you with a bit of wisdom that may make your time here more pleasant --- there has not ever been, nor will there ever be, a "I h8 newbies" post.  It is more than insulting to those of us that spend hours everyday helping pre-ops & newbies (on several OH forums, other places online, IRL, on the phone, via PMs, via email,etc...) to even attempt a joke about that.

Since you are busy asking questions via PM, I would ask you how you feel that helps others?  You are draining the time of someone to answer those questions, and nobody else is benefiting from the answers.  You are also doing yourself a disservice in not getting collective wisdom.

You're stronger than that, Stacey.

Stacey,

I have to agree with Kim on this one.  I don't mind answering questions on the board because I KNOW that people will see the answer that hadn't thought of asking a question that way.  I DO ANSWER PM's with questions, but it really takes a lot of time to type it all out, and I feel more than one person should benefit from it.  Besides, I've never seen you ask a stupid question, or bite a vet's hand, so you should feel free to post anything at anytime!!!!  REALLY!

Lori

(Edited because grammar is my friend)

Man, I don't know how to put this into words, but my first point was meant that some time ago, 'repeat' posts were encouraged, and lately it seems more like the thought is that you can get everything you need to by searching, or by reading profiles, so don't post unless you know that you have an original question. I didn't mean specifically you, or Kimberly, or any one vet in particular have been reluctant to answer posts/PMs. It just seems like the theme of several posts over the last few weeks. Can you see that going on too, or is it really just me?

Definitely some people ask questions that are too general before reading the board at all, that's apparent. There's a balance, like Jenna said. The worst that can happen with the first philosophy is that the boards get clogged a bit and people will skip over posts. With the second, people might not post *enough* and get the help that they need, and other people lose the benefit of seeing those posts.

I don't know, that just been my impression of the atmosphere over the last week or two. Your post made me wonder if anyone else noticed it too.

Oh, and in regards to PMs - I do think more people should use them (me included), but there is a productive and non-productive way to go about doing it. It is not helpful to anyone to PM someone a million questions, it just wastes that person's time. But something specific like - hey I lost my link to xx recipe, can you forward it to me? - is better PM'd IMO.

Anyway, maybe the other posters aren't as anti- confrontational and paranoid as me so they aren't as hesitant to post. I don't know why I'm so afraid of someone being mean to me on the internet, that seems so pathetic, but it's true!

I've definitely noticed what you're referring to Jenna, that's why I wrote this post in the first place.  I hope you didn't feel I was putting you down, that wasn't it at all!!  I understand what you mean about using pm's for asking for certain links to something that someone posted, I thought you were talking about pm's where people drill one person with a slew of questions that would be better answered on the boards. 

Please don't be afraid to post on the boards, and to the vets I was hoping to elicit a little bit of patience....that's all I wanted to say. 

That is a cycle that comes and goes, and it tends to pivot around newbies with a sense of entitlement.    If a new person posts a question that was just asked, and we say "there was a post on that yesterday", it is respectful of our time and energy for the new person to take the initiative to go look.   If they act like our sole purpose for being here is their personal DS-info Vending Machine, then it's going to **** people off.

MOST DS vets are NOT here on the boards.    I am here occasionally, and many of the people *I* remember from my early days haven't been here in ages.......The few who stay here do so for various reasons, but their numbers are finite.    That makes the ratio between new people and vets huge.     Also - there are a lot more new people in general.     It used to take a day to fill up one or two pages with posts......now it takes less than an hour. 

Being a DS'er REQUIRES self-reliance and the ability to handle things on your own.    You do NOT have PCP's who have a clue.  You're lucky if ONE person in your local hospital saw a special once on a DS, much less ever actually handled a DS patient.    If a new person can't get their information on their own by reading the boards, they are NOT going to be able to handle the tough part post-op when something happens, and they need to educate the medical personnel around them.    

Being a DS'er doesn't exempt us from other crises in life - divorce, pregnancy/birth, deaths in the family, car accidents, cancer - but it IMPACTS every one of these......and if we are not capable of doing our own research,  we're not going to be a valued partner in our own healthcare when it comes to treating these other issues.

If any one of you is going to be one of my Switch Sisters or Switch Amigos, you'd better treat this surgery with respect - because I won't have you screwing up a fantastic life-saving option for the rest of the MO community through laziness, impudence and self-will.  Do your homework.   Earn your DS stripes, and I will proudly claim you as one of my DS family.

--BT

OMG! I heart this post!!! Thank you!  Thank you.

Wow, you are an awesome writer. Thank you for this!

this is probably one of the best posts i read on this subject. all i have to add to your post is...

R-AMEN!!!!!

Scott

Yes, I can think of one sort of newbie in particular who's been very demanding as of late.  I won't go into who she is, but I went back to read her posts and she kind of treated everyone like a child from the get-go.  Serve me!  I demand answers; your time is inconsequential - this was her tone.  Notice she now has no friends.    

Don't quote me, but a medical professional recently told me that weight loss surgery is now the number one surgery in America.  I thought it was the gall bladder.  We're probably all being pointed to ObesityHelp.com.    I do think this thread should be a sticky, and that further threads should be put to some kind of vote as to whether or not they are stickies; some of the top of the page board highlighted sticky threads are ones in which I never read or have any interest in...wonder how they get unstuck, and who determines that?  Perhaps there could be a button we push at the bottom of the post; maybe if a certain number of people clicks on it, then it's automatically a sticky?  Who do we talk to about that?  

I also think that one's privacy needs to be taken into consideration.  I'm rather startled by the calling of one's surgeon, thereby reducing the post-op to tears, and the posts of one vet in particular who...well...if you can't say anything nice about anyone....

I really tried to say something nice within the context of ObesityHelp world...She makes a lot of sense, but the delivery of her messages are woefully acerbic and veer into territory that has little to nothing to do with obesity.   She is undoubtedly very smart in her professional life, but can be incredibly insensitive, with no provocation.  THIS IS ONE REASON WHY NEWBIES ARE AFRAID.  

We are HUMANS sitting behind computers.  If someone bothers you, how many times do we have to tell you to block them?  We all log out and read everything anyway.  I might have people blocked today that I won't have blocked tomorrow.  I unblocked people today.  I blocked one person because she reminds me of an ex best friend I hate; I can't stand to think of her face at this time.  All we know from here is the way people speak, and here it's often a first impression.  Blocks don't always last forever. I read everything, but certain people get to me on certain days; I could totally agree with you when I log out to read and unblock you the next day.  Someone gave me a piece of advice once:  DON'T TAKE IT PERSONAL.  She repeated it.  DON'T TAKE IT PERSONAL.

I come here in peace.  I can't believe there's no white flag smiley; there should be.

Not all of us have met everyone else in real life, so sometimes getting flamed is very hurtful and alarming because a lot of vets are already best friends forever (you know, as in "Been there, bought the T-shirt").  Do you see how we're coming in unarmed?  Take it easy, vets, sometimes.  It's a major internalized "Whoa!" to write a post about one thing, and be attacked for another minute detail out of nowhere...in the same post.  How can vets insult our intelligence and claim we have mental problems when they don't KNOW us?  Can you see how sometimes a person's heart might skip a beat or two, out of sheer terror?  Some newbies have been admiring vets for MONTHS before they dip a toe or two in the pool.  People retain their privacy here for reasons; it's referred to in the Terms of Service.     
 
I spent loads of time cutting and pasting from dsfacts and duodenalswitch dot coms, and I went throught thousands of OH DS and RNY board pages when I got here; I learned a lot.  It took me three or four days; though I didn't read every thread, I read the ones where I could actually learn something and that weren't repetitive.  You've taught me things, for sure.  

I still have a lot to learn; I don't have a clear grasp of the DS anatomy, other than the fact that most of the stomach is removed.  I wonder if someone posted a side by side of the before and after of what our insides should look like, and explained it in the simplest of terms.  This is a NEED TO KNOW thing for every DS patient.  I'm not a scientist.  I saw a recent post that kind of went there, but again...college biology was only one semester.

I'm done.


Edited for clarification/truth a couple of times.   

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www.lapsf.com/weight-loss-surgeries.html