Need a minute to vent about the forum, & advice/links for all newbies inside

Let me take a deep breath and say this:

This isn't about the right or wrongness of this action:  this about whether newish people seeing it that feel like 'oh crap, I better be careful what I say here'.  It isn't about whether anyone is 'ok' with that.  It's about how to fix the problem.

My post is about that.  I hope vets can understand that feeling.  Which is one of many I mention in my answer to Lori.

Definitely!    And you already saw my response - feel the fear and do it anyway.     That much we agree on.

--BT

 

lol - well - we sort of agree.  I think feeling the fear we agree upon.  I only believe in 'acting anyway' if it's a wise risk to take.  Sometimes fear is there to guide us to not take action because it is not worth the physical or emotional risk.

I suppose that is what i'm weighing in this thread.

You know what's interesting? The point is (you're like two months behind me in the surgery with the same office). I never for once thought anything you said was inane, much rather a personal post. Your posts have ALWAYS been informative and just brilliant and fresh. I keep thinking about a post I did to Irish concerning why people were getting a backlash and some others weren't. I wish I could find it. It's not necessarily the truth, just my assessment of things. The Emilie thing was an interesting thread, because I thought she got a lot of wonderful wonderful love and support, despite how frightening the situation was at the time (both physically and emotionally). It's so interesting how people have different perspectives. That being said, I can see how one would be gaurded and afraid that they'll be ratted out for choices they make in the journey. Anyway, I think my point is that 1. I have to find what I wrote to Irish, but 2. I'm really sad that you've felt the need to hold back, esp. when your posts have changed my own perspectives and ways of living.

I remember that - it was on R&R, if that helps you any.

Yeah! I can't find it, if you can believe it! Oh well.

 Thank you. I am by no means a newbie on here. I am newly post-op but I've been reading this messageboard, Duodenalswitch.com and yahoo group for years and it's true you don't know what's what until you've been through it. I told myself I would never whine about a stall. I would be happy with however much weight I lost, no matter how long it takes, but guess what? The scale hasn't freakin' moved in 6 weeks and I'm doing everything I'm suppose to. It freaks me out. My poor DH is sick of hearing about it and just doesn't get it. I too look for threads that pertain to me, yes I've read them before but it's nice to know someone is in the same boat as you are. I know we are suppose to throw our scales away, but it's hard to do when everyone measures your success by how much weight you've lost. I can't even tell you how many times I've heard,  "so how much have you lost?". I just want to slap them. I know I'm lucky because I didn't have any complications and have had an "easy time" adjusting to my DS but sometimes there are things that worry me and I just want to see if it's an issue for others. 

OH gosh - you must be SO Frustrated!!!  I know I would be.  And yes, my husban would also be sick of hearing about it!  lol

I never thought I'd be a daily weigher but in the first month it's HARD not to - thankfully I haven't gotten upset at all by it - just look at it and go 'ok'.  

*YOU* saying that you are afraid to post actually really bothers me, too.
Please, if you have it in you, answer Lori's question.
You're so insightful, and your opinion matters to me.

One of the best quotes I ever heard was this:    Courage isn't fearlessness.   It's the ability to feel the fear and do it anyway.

Love fuels many emotions - anger, sadness, grief - and it can hide behind the flare, but it is the underlying POWER behind them.     I wouldn't be angry if I didn't care.   The loss or degradation of the DS wouldn't make me sad if I didn't love what it has done for me.   The loss of opportunity, of potential, for people who never got the chance wouldn't bother me if I didn't care about them.

If you (or anyone) need a respite or time to huddle in a chrysalis, take it - but do it because it provides you with STRENGTH and life-changing opportunity, not because you're not willing to get up the gumption to do it anyway.     A life lived in fear is no life at all.

--BT