Need a minute to vent about the forum, & advice/links for all newbies inside

I like newbies.  I don't mind them at all.  They keep things fresh.

Things I can't stand that seem to be happening more frequently:
-posters that have been around for plenty of time asking stupid effing questions.  And not just one or two, like TONS of stupid questions, repeatedly, everyday, as if they hadn't read a single thing the entire time they've been here.  There are some people not doing research before they get surgery, and I'm honestly horrified by the things they are asking.  I can't BELIEVE they had surgery while not being prepared with this info.  Then basically coming here with the attitude of "I got paperwork, I could sift through it, but I'd rather just ask a bunch of people here instead of educate myself."  I just go back picturing myself pre-op pouring over everything I could get my hands on because I was so excited and wanted to be prepared, and I cannot believe we have posters that aren't doing that.  It's like they don't care about themselves, and that just makes me not want to care about them, either.

-people whining when we tell them to eat protein and not a bunch of carby junk when they are 2 months out.  It's just getting old.  Chips, pasta, candy...at a few weeks out?!  OMG!

Otherwise, I think there have been some crazies around as of late, but I mostly just ignore them instead of indulging the wackiness.  I don't have time to keep up with multiple identities.  If a good question is asked, I'll answer it.  Whether a nutcase asked it or had an ulterior motive when asking it or not, the answer could still help someone, I hope.

Lori, I don't believe I was involved with any of the incessant questions thing...although if I had been, my impatience would have glowed like a beacon in the night.

But, from here, it looked like the obvious unwillingness of at least one of the parties to do anything other than grab quotes and nonsense from one uninformed site/person or another and share them with everyone wore thin on the part of those who would generally help.

I don't mind helping with questions I can answer.  But, for example, once someone has been told that the NIH and Pub Med are probably better sources of information on medical issues than USA Today and E!Entertainment...they've been told.  After that, I don't care if the reason they aren't spending some quality time with stuff written are a reading level above fourth grade is that they are too lazy to read it or that they just can't comprhend it...either way, they just may not be good candidates for the DS.  If I'm not polite enough about the laziness/stupidity issue...I'll just live with that character flaw.

Sue

PS--I am acquainted with an electrical utility person who went to a home because they were having trouble with their electrical service.  Seems the people had earlier added on to the house, moved their electrical feed themselves and then roofed over the wires...creating a HUGE fire hazard.  The electric company dude climbed the pole and cut the wires.  Reason?  "These people are too stupid to HAVE electricity." 

That's kind of what I mean.  If people really cam't wrap their minds around some of the concepts, I'd rather not encourage them to have the DS and kills themselves in the process.

Sue

Good point, Sue. I sometimes struggle to pay it forward on the Main board for that very reason.   I have really missed you around the boards.  Tell me you've been doing something fabulous while you were MIA!  Good to have you back!

Lori

Lori,

I am still preop and would like to thank you for your post. I didn't have all of the links you provided but I am thankful for the additional information.

Sophia

ETA: Sorry this is so effing long!

Okay. Wow. I hope I don't get blasted for this, and I just might.  And I apologize in advance for what this may sound like, but I know this sounds insane, but I don't see where so many  newbies are getting slammed. I've seen two newbies get slammed and there were reasons for it. Michy and Inky got slammed and hardcore.  And this is why I perceive that to be the case: Michy started out on the wrong foot. She had her surgery, stumbled onto OH's DS forum and started asking questions that really only a medical professional should have been dispensing answers to. When people urged her to go to her doctor, she got seriously uppity and started to argue with tried and true vets. This went on for several threads that she created and at that point some people labeled her as potential problem. People consistently advised and advised her to the point that there were a lot of other newbies who fell through the cracks, because they were drained after dealing with Michy (who needed a lot of hand holding, albeit  nothing wrong with that).
In Michy's defense, she really was sweet as can be  (and alone in this process and unfortunately) she took things people said (much later on) to be slams against her, when they weren't. They were friendly warnings and advice that with the climate of the board (at the current time) her questions were more than likely going to be overlooked and ignored. She was offended and it got ugly from there.
The same thig happened with Inky, except Inky is a slick one. She claims sweetness and light and that everyone should cumbaya their way to heaven, but she was an instigator with her myriad responses rife with belligerence, angst and superiority complex on issues she had no ******g clue about (like protein shakes). She was offensive and then would be a consistent post deleter, leaving the respondents looking like pure ******** yelling at the sky. I've only seen these two women get attacked (catholic school girl doesn't count, that ***** is nuts and full of pure sick and vile venom) and honestly, in Inky's case, she had it coming for a while. In the beginning, not so much, but when she was getting the nice sweet vets (example: Val, Colene, Julie R.) writing competent, concise answers to her, she still showed her natural ass and it got off the hook ugly and with great speed. At this point it started looking like she was coming to start a lot of **** and then bounce. This got people in an uproar, because they took her questions seriously and answered with extreme competence, worry and love. She then started blocking some of these people for no apparent good reason. Who blocks people like Colene?! Obviously, she was nuts. She started saying she was pm'ed a list of people to block and then she started on her vetting process of surgeons. She was purely crazy. Look, people are tired of ******g crazy ass people. Period. I know people say: don't click on the thread, but how are we supposed to know that someone is effing crazy if we don't click? More importantly, we have enough bull**** in our lives, to come here is a respite and then you have psycho people blocking sweet and innocent people who are giving good advice, trying to literally save a life and this is the thanks they get? People are broke, hungry, sick and tired.. the last thing they need is an attitude problem from some grasshopping instigating chick. I know that sounds mean, but it is true. There are so many serious DS seekers out there. People who are falling through massive cracks, because the attention is being put on crazy people like Inky and Catholic School Girl. A prime example is Lorie 2 (I think that's her screen name). Chick had a severe problem and was lambasted and then ignored, because people confused her with being a troll. This has become out of hand, when someone with bowel or insurance issues is discarded and could be legitimately helped, if not for the likes of people like Inky sucking the board dry. That's why you see the ugliness rearing.
There are two types of newbies, people who are Type A obsessed with getting the DS and making the switch, and then you have people who want a free ride and have you digest the protein for them. That is just irresponsible, annoying and ignorant. I know that sounds awful, but it is true. We have seen that the TYPE A pursuants are the most successful with the DS. I honesly feel that the derision that is popping up here and there is the separation of the wheat from the chaff. Ignorance is deadly when it comes to the DS. If these types of people (Inky and not so much Michy, but I'm just throwing her in there) can't handle the truth, what makes them think they can handle the DS? The DS is a demanding baby that constantly needs to be fed, burped, ass cleaned and so on. You know how diligent you are, Lori. You're a ******g military Admiral and Goddess with all the **** you've been thru. Can you imagine Inky or for that matter Michy undergoing such stressors?! It would kill them! If they can't handle the board and talking about protein supplements to them, or what have you, they could end up in serious trouble. Now if I'm wrong, call me out, please. Tell me where there have been other newbies who were horribly abused. I've observed this board. All the varying types and no matter what ALL THESE PEOPLE, every single last one of us come flying to the aid to support, love and give advice, even when there is a common thought that the poster could be crazy. Inky AND MICHY both got that love, no questions asked. It was only until they started getting nasty, that people started getting nasty in return.  And for the people who are going to post, how you asked a question and you got slammed, PLEASE POST THE THREAD where you were abused. I know of a prime example where there's a poster who doesn't post nearly as much any longer, because she was slammed hardcore. However, she was slammed, because what was written by her was deemed nasty  (when it was really frustration on her behalf) and she got slammed for it. That is the general principle here, it's the attitude problems by the OP that crop up, after they've been answered and then they go immediately there after and write a post about how the board is full of slits and how they're tired of being mistreated. And honestly, part of me has to say: "What was your part in this? How did you incite this kind of response?" I know that seems like victimizing the victim, but really, there is some responsibility to be shown on the part of the OP/Newbie. JMO.

That's it.... just sign my name to everything you write from now on!!  I am going to turn into one of the slackers, and feed off of you for awhile.

Ummm, why would I blast you for your opinion?  I know exactly what you mean.  I agree with what you mean about the difference between the victim newbies and the type A newbies.  It becomes apparent very early in a person's posting which person they are.  I guess the reason I wrote all of this is because I had 18 pm's this morning, majority of them newbies I've never seen asking for help b/c they don't wanna be flamed on the boards for asking.  I don't feel spending 20 minutes on a response to help just one person is very valuable for the boards.  Like I said, I haven't been as present for several days as I LIKE to be, damn I'm an addict to this place, but I get flooded with these kinds of pm's when the boards have been in an uproar.  That's why I asked earlier about what had been going on....I haven't answered all of the pm's yet, and I'm thinking about posting them annonymously in one thread and just answering them on one post....I probably won't, but you know what I mean.  I think the gonecrazyinky crap is just that, CRAP.  I even gave her my phone number early on so that she could talk to a live DSer and get her questions answered.  She never called.  Go figure. 

I'm not doing a good job collecting my thoughts today, I'm totally pre-occupied with getting my arse out the door for a walk before the kids get home from school.  I'll be back, probably tonight or hell, maybe Saturday.  You hafta  know I loves ya Sia.

Lori

Chica, I heart you like you wouldn't believe. More importantly, I seriously respect you. I'm just sad to view vets and non-vets getting slammed for telling the truth as they see it and being abused for trying to help people who can't handle the truth. My posting didn't have so much to do with what you posted as much as what I've been reading and witnessing on the boards as of late. I'm going to be honest, when I first got here, I read EN and Diana's post and was like: "gaddamn, I'm never going to **** those women off." I was seriously frightened of getting blocked by one of them or told off. What is amazing to me is the EN seriously changed my life around, in one post.  The reglan and prilosec ****tail post of hers cured me! It gave me the strength to pursue my own healing and eff the rest to hell.  Diana's posts have saved me on a weekly basis too. I was about to rip my hair out, when I read about her stall posts. These women who I deemed "scary" at first saved my existence and the thing is.. I think what makes a DS'er successful is humility. Being educable. Humble your gaddamn ass and let someone teach your ass something. I'm one of those people, who doesn't care who the **** says jack **** to me. If it's the truth, I'm listening. That's how we get better. That's how we become wiser. And I think that the DS will do one of two things to you. It will either destroy you or make you better. One of the people I often say, who changed my life prior to surgery was Justin. He was determined to make this experience beautiful and define his destiny and that's the thing that I feel is lacking in people like Inky, they have no goal or DS destiny. They just want what they want and **** everyone else. It doesn't work like that. I wouldn't be having the success I'm having with this DS had it not been for the likes of you, Diana, Elizabeth, Justin, AA, Julie R. Colene, Kerry, Levitt, Shani and a slew of others. But it took my ass to have goals and a plan to get what is coming to me. I'm just baffled that there are people who think that the DS world owes them. It's astounding to me. I'm sorry you've been saddled with the number of messages that you've received. I can only imagine how tired you are and when you sign on, you aren't signing on to be a professor. I guess I just say to these people who fear writing on the board: If you give us a chance, we'll give you a chance. If you love us, we'll love you back. You get out what you put in. Period. Some come join the party!

 "I guess I just say to these people who fear writing on the board: If you give us a chance, we'll give you a chance. If you love us, we'll love you back. You get out what you put in. Period. So come join the party!"

I know, that is EXACTLY what I was trying to say, only a hell of a lot shorter!!!!!  Me and my damned inability to make anything short and sweet!!!  Lol!  I think I'll edit my post to include this, hope you don't mind girlie!

Lori