I hate food.

I pooped!  Are you proud?

And today I've had diarrhea and I've been *****ing about it.  Can you believe that?  Nothing makes me happy except perfect poop schedules.

Apparently if you mix an entire bottle of miralax with 64 ounces of gatorade, you'll go.  And go.  And go and go and go.  Gastro doc said to just pretend I was having a colonoscopy and get cleaned out reeeeeal good.

I'm still bloated though.  When I get this dadgum ovarian cyst yanked out and all my doctors stop blaming my bloating and constipation on a cyst, I'll be in their office *****ing until they listen to me.  Sumpin just ain't right and I'll ***** and ***** and ***** until they make it so.  I'm a great patient.  LOL

I looked 5 months pregnant yesterday and instead of trying to hide it, I just went with it.  People are actually really nice to girls that look 5 months pregnant.  People keep asking me when I'm due anyways, I might as well just go along with it instead of getting all offended.  It's not their fault I look knocked up.

If anyone asks, I'm due in April.  That's my story and I'm sticking to it.

And yes, 3 (THREE!) people have asked when I'm due within the past month.  No effing joke.

People tend to ask me if I had cancer, if I got hit in the face, and if I have an armflap diesase-- you're getting off easy.

I blame your gallbladder. I think gallbladders suck.

If *I* had diarrhea, I'd think it was just me poopin', mixed with God's grateful tears. ;) It'd truly be an event.

But nothing will ever top my first post obstruction poop. I really should have taken a photo. Fourteen days of poop is a lot of poop indeed.

:::sob::: Now I'm gettin' all melancholy about great poops of my past. I'm passing ball breaings again, gah.  My poops actually PING!

I'm pretty sure 14 days of DS poop could not be captured in one photo.  Or in one toilet bowl.

I should start parking in the pregnant lady parking spots, too.  If I'm gonna look pregnant, I really need to live it up.  People were letting me go ahead of them in line yesterday and everything.  I decided to talk in a southern accent, too.  Everyone loves a southern pregnant chick.

WTF is armflap disease?  LOL.  People are so freakin' ridiculous.  Most people shouldn't be allowed to talk.  A lot of people at my work think I am anemic, have low blood sugar, and/or have cancer because I'm pale, eat frequently, and carry a water bottle.  No...I'm not dying and no I don't need them to ***** my finger "just to check".  Just wearing SPF, avoiding the sun, and avoiding starvation and dehydration.  But thanks anyways, idiots.

Kayla I  loved your pregnancy story! Gave me a good laugh. Damn right, park in those prego spots!

Bev

Thanks, Kayla! I've actually been buying lots of fancy soft cheeses (Boursin, etc.) and have been disappointed with the protein count. I guess I need to go with harder cheeses.

I almost forgot about Greek yogurt. That stuff was awesome right after surgery. They had some at the grocery store in Atlanta that had 13g of protein per serving. I was so excited when I got home and found some at our health food store (our grocery stores don't carry it) but then I saw the protein count - 1g per serving. WTH??? le sigh....sometimes it sux living in the wilds of Alabama.

Ahh...expensive tastes!  haha.

I wouldn't get a bulk of protein from fancy cheeses anyways, or else I'd end up in the poor house!  I buy the embarrassingly large 2 pound bricks of cheese for like 8 bucks.  112g of protein for $8?  Not too shabby!

$3-$4 for like 5 ounces of soft mini babybel cheeses = yeah, kinda a rip off for someone that eats as much as I do.

Anna - I found this website to be great! www.highproteinfoods.net    It has oodles of foods and tells you how much protein is in it...example

Here is sockeye salmon

Number of displayed food(s) - 4 Serving Size Protein Calories Calories from Protein Percent of Calories from Protein     Fish, salmon, sockeye, canned, drained solids with bone 3 oz 17.40 g 130.05 69.60 53.5% 100g 20.47 g 153.00 81.88 53.5% 1 can 75.53 g 564.57 302.14 53.5%     Fish, salmon, sockeye, canned, without salt, drained solids with bone 3 oz 17.40 g 130.05 69.60 53.5% 100g 20.47 g 153.00 81.88 53.5% 1 can 75.53 g 564.57 302.14 53.5%     Fish, salmon, sockeye, cooked, dry heat 3 oz 23.21 g 183.60 92.85 50.6% 100g 27.31 g 216.00 109.24 50.6% 0.5 fillet 42.33 g 334.80 169.32 50.6%     Fish, salmon, sockeye, raw 1 oz, boneless 6.04 g 47.63 24.15 50.7% 3 oz 18.10 g 142.80 72.42 50.7% 100g 21.30 g 168.00 85.20 50.7% 0.5 fillet 42.17 g 332.64 168.70 50.7%

Here is Blueberries

Number of displayed food(s) - 4 Serving Size Protein Calories Calories from Protein Percent of Calories from Protein     Blackberries, canned, heavy syrup, solids and liquids 100g 1.31 g 92.00 5.24 5.7% 1 cup 3.35 g 235.52 13.41 5.7%     Blackberries, frozen, unsweetened 100g 1.18 g 64.00 4.72 7.4% 1 cup, unthawed 1.78 g 96.64 7.13 7.4% 1 package (18 oz) 6.02 g 326.40 24.07 7.4%     Blackberries, raw 100g 1.39 g 43.00 5.56 12.9% 1 cup 2.00 g 61.92 8.01 12.9%     Blackberry juice, canned 100g 0.30 g 38.00 1.20 3.2%

Very cool site, Maya, thanks!

Anna, I forgot I post about the Shiritaki Noodles earlier this year. This might add some variety for you! Hope it helps!

Have you heard of Shiritaki Noodles?
I was just reading my daily digest from my surgeons yahoo group. Some one mentioned these noodles that are low carb, Shirataki noodles. I had never heard of them so I looked them up. Here's what I found.

Benefits of Shirataki Noodles: There is some evidence that glucomannan, when tested as a powdered supplement, can play a role in blood sugar control, as well as improve cholesterol control and weight loss (see this report). It also contributes to fiber intake, and can be a substitute for starchy noodles. Tofu Shirataki Noodles: Shirataki noodles tend to be a bit “rubbery”. Although this can be somewhat reduced by a short period of boiling, one food developer found that adding tofu to the shirataki produced a “tamer” texture. It also adds a bit of protein and carbohydrate. (1 gram protein and 3 grams carbohydrate per serving). This product is a little easier to find, at least in my area, than plain shirataki noodles.

I also found this web site which explain how to cook them.

http://www.shiratakinoodles.net/index.html

Here are some pics of yummy recipes that are on that site. I hope this is helpful for anyone looking to add variety in their diet!
Hug, Maya

How do I cook shirataki noodles? Cooking shirataki noodles by themselves is relatively straightforward. Since shirataki noodles are packaged pre-cooked, you simply heat them up and enjoy. The liquid that shirataki noodles are packaged in has a slight fishy/seafood smell to it, so it's recommended that you run the noodles under water for a couple of minutes before you eat them. To add flavor, you can add: Salt Soy sauce Garlic powder or garlic cloves Tofu Spaghetti sauce Vegetables The House Foods America Corporation website contains many good recipies for their tofu shirataki noodles. Click each name for a direct link to the recipe on their site: Zucchini Pancakes Chicken Cacciatore Pan Fried Noodles Lite Seafood Noodle Soup Chicken Noodle Soup Sweet Cabbage Slaw Shrimp & Vegetable Curry Cheesy Noodle Bake Tropical Island Chicken Spinach Noodle Bake Southwest Chili with Noodles Italian Sausage & Spinach Soup Raspberry Turkey Salad Stuffed Portobello Mushrooms Pasta with Mushroom Marinara Sauce Shrimp & Noodles in Peanut Sauce

Eggs are also an excellent source of protein and there are a number of foods at the health food store made from egg protein.   Specifically Quorn products.   They have some of the best vegetarian hot dogs as well as other meat substitutes.   They pose a good alternative to soy.   Also sprouted grain breads tend to be high in protein.  

Hope this helps.


I too seem to be having a lot of problems.  I don't often feel hungry and when I do, I can not tell when I get full.  I am a little over 3 weeks post-op.   I am a revision from a lap-band and there were a lot of problems getting the band out - hole in stomach,  lots of scar tissue, yada yada.   I hope this gets better.  I am tired of tossing my food.    I am hoping to go back for the intestinal part in a few weeks.

Good Luck,

William