Alcoholism and Diabetes don't mix after GBS
Below is what I just posted on my blog and I am also planning on posting this to the addictions forum as well so hopefully I could save someone from what I did to myself. What I didn't put on my blog due to I didn't want to scare my family to death was the actual side effects that occured from my extreme Low blood sugars caused by excessive amounts of alcohol....which were... it took my daughter pounding on my chest and pulling on my hair to wake me up so that I could drink some orange joice. She knew my BS was low because my insulin pump also reads my BS readings every five minutes and if they go below 75 an alarm will sound. The second instance was scarier than the first so if I decide to ever drink again....please just hand me my "stupid sign". My alarm was going off one night for four hours before it woke me up finally (or it might have been my bladder). Anyways since no one was around to hear my alarm (this night I was sleeping in our guest room since my husband had a cold) and I had low BS for about 4 hours.....guess what happens to your nervous system when you don't send enough sugar to your brain for an extended period.... it shuts down baby!!! Till my BS came back up to normal (guess who had to save me again with bringing my OJ to me and this time feeding it to me since my arms wouldn't lift up to hold anything!!) Also my legs were like somewhat paralized. Remember I said my bladder might have been the one who woke me up.... well, that was scary as ever making it to the bathroom as a temporary quadropredric. (I probrably didn't spell that right). Alcoholism is a very selfish disease and in my daughters case I see why they call it that. I can't believe I have put my daughter through this!! I have had diabetes for 34 years since I was 7 and by the grace of God... no side effects. Except of course for the ones my addictions cause me.
Here's what's on my blog:
Well here's my latest story on my journey and it's not pretty!!!
Unfortunately without being able to emotionally eat when I wanted to I turned to alcohol. BIG MISTAKE!! I actually had a couple of instances due to my diabetes, of having extreme low blood sugars that I nearly did myself in. For those who don't understand addiction don't even try to understand why I did this to myself. I unfortunately know why... once an addict always an addict. If I didn't have the diabetes I probably wouldn't have stopped drinking because it was a perfect opportunity to get a quick fix when I needed it. With the surgery I was able to be actually drunk within a few minutes. But with the diabetes what would happen is that my blood sugars would reach extreme lows at night. And in two cases I almost didn't recover without serious consequences. My guardian angel just happen to be working some overtime those two nights and I did recover but not from the guilt I had the following day knowing what I almost did to myself and my family....and for that I am truly sorry. Gee if only I loved myself better or as much as others do... I would be a "normal" functioning person.
The positive is that besides going to AA meetings for the past two weeks and being sober every day, I have started praying more, once in the morning praying for a happy, calm & peaceful day and for a day of sobriety.... then at night to thank him for the gifts he had given me that day. I never have done this before... I have always done what some call fox hole praying in which you only pray when you are in need of Him. You know we always try to figure out what are plans are in life and now I have a new plan to ponder on which is ... wondering if the diabetes was intended to actually save my life one day instead of just being my obvious burden. Cause I'm serious if it wasn't for my diabetes "interfering" in my attempts for a high I would still be out there and I am sure of it!
I am very sorry for disappointing a lot of my family and friends and I'm sure Dr. Perez isn't going to be too happy with me on next Tuesday either!!! Yikes
Well.... here's to another day of sobriety, exercising and eating right!!
Amen and Good Night!!
Soon To Be Melted away!!
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