TERRIFIED, DO I REALLY WANT TO DO THIS?

I am in the process of my surgery , and i am scared to death ,i have 2 beautifull lil girls ,4 and 7, and i have had alot of health problems since i was 15. i am now 23 and weigh 356 pounds.I know i cant lose the weight on my own ,and I thought i really wanted this surgery ,which would be the open RNY,because of my previouse surgeries they have to do it open ,but the closer it gets the more scared i get ,and now i dont know if i want to go on with this ,i have this bad feeling inside that wont go away , and i try to be positive but i just cant ,and im not really a religous person ,so its really hard to tell my self i will be ok,and i dont know what to do . i dont have much suport about this besides my husband he sais what ever i want to do is what he wants ,but my mom and the rest of the family keeps saying ,oh no dont do it ,u can lose weight ,just try harder, and that they are afraid that i will die if i have the surgery , but i know they are just scared because i have had a really hard time with my health ,and they have almost lost me to many times , sometimes i just think well its not so bad like i am , but i know im going to get worse so I guess my question is how many other people feel like this ? I want to go in there knowing that i am 100% sure but im not sure i can. I need advise on what to do about this , im so scared i really want to feel good about this .

Hi Christal, I am 50 and am just waiting for my insurance approval. My husband says:" good for you" when I update him on my progress with appointments. I think he'd rather me fat for some reason. But bottom line, I'm doing this for me and my health and my future. Although my BMI is 38.5, i suffer comorbidities. And basically I'm tired of feeling the way I do. I want my life back. I want to be healthy. At times I'm scared but still very sure of my decision. The good outweighs the bad. I've never been more sure. Good luck. Kathy

Hi terrified.... I understand where you are coming from and I have been through some of the worst of the worst with complications. Read my profile for all the info, but I made it through the complications and now I am able to live my life to the fulliest! I know at the darkest moment last summer I questioned myself and my thinking about going through with the surgery but now I am off ALL medications and all my comorbidity diseases are GONE. My resting heart rate used to be in the 90-110 range and now it is in the 60's! My asthma has disappeared and I am off my CHF medications and HBP medications(yeah I was only 36 and dealing with the beginning stages of CHF). It is good to get other peoples prospective on the surgery and especially talk to someone who has had the worst of complications also...that way you aren't going into the surgery "blind". If you would like any other information please let me know....most people make it through surgery with NO complications but there are the 2-5% that have complications. Be sure to ask your surgeon what his complication rate is...what his morbidity rate is and have him explain some of the details of what went wrong and why. Good luck....I am sure that everything will go fine! Dawn

Hi Christal, I just wanted to say that I'm in a very similar situation as you. I'm 23 and weigh the same as you; however I'm having my surgery laproscopically on April 11th. I don't have kids yet, but I am married and we want to start our family as soon as possible. All this waiting and jumping through hoops and its finally going to happen .... and I'm scared! I do feel excited about life after the sugery and I am 100% ready to take on the lifestyle changes. It's just the constant worry, what if I'm the one of the 2% who doesn't make it through??? It has invaded my dreams, which freaks me out worse because I'm like is it some sort of omen or sign? That may sound silly, but I don't get much rest. I know this is the only way to take control of my health. I just wanted to say that you're not alone and I hope everything works out for you. April

Hey Christal, I was in a very similar situation to you. I currently weigh around 300 lbs. and was planning on having surgery this summer. My biggest fear was that in a year or two I would regret my choice to have this punitive style surgery or I would have extensive complications. My other big issue is that I was self pay so any problems would have been my responsibility to pay, which is very scary. I was also having that feeling that something wasn't right about going a head with the surgery. So I decided to postpone a year, to give myself time to try out one last time on my own. I am comforted knowing the surgery is an available option, but it is lifetime change and I have to know without a doubt that I am ready and it is right for me. No one can tell you what is right and best for you, and don't feel uncomfortable putting on the brakes whenever you need to. I guess my biggest advice is to listen to yourself and feel empowered enough to really do what is best for you. Best of luck! - Tara

Hey how are you? I also am scheduled for surgery April 3. Im terrified of the chance I can be a part of the death rate.. I always dreamed of growing old with my husband (dont have one yet) and living a long healthy life.

Hi Christal, I think most people that have WLS go through the fear process that you are going through, especially if you have children. I have children as well so I understand how it makes your decision that much tougher. I backed out once and then decided to do it the very next year after gaining more weight and developing more health problems. It sounds like you know the risks. I was nervous the day of my surgery. I was not afraid of making it through the surgery. I felt very confident in my surgeon. My doctor does both Lap and open procedure but I only wanted to go open (I never felt comfortable with the Lap procedure but many people swear by it) and besides borderline hypertension and joint pain, I was in relatively good health. I was more concerned with the months and years after the surgery. I didn't want to spend my life in and out of hospitals and always being sick. So far I have had a great experience since my surgery. I don't get nauseated. I have not had any food troubles. I never had pain from the surgery (thanks to the epidural). When I was at my lowest point prior to weight loss surgery. I was sitting in this same chair crying and journaling how I felt physically and emotionally. My whole body ached. Every joint seemed overloaded and overworked. I was a mess emotionally because I was I felt like life was passing me by. I barely went places with my family because I could not walk or stand for long due to the pain in my joints. I was depressed. I wanted to journal how I felt at that moment so that I would never forget just how bad I felt and to remind myself to do everythin within my power not to go back there. I am only 4 months out but I feel like a person again. Coworkers that ignored me, speak to me now. I move very easily without stiffness and pain. I have gone from a tight 24 to a size 18/20. As nervous as I was, I am very, very happy that I had WLS.

Hi Christal, Have you researched other weight loss surgeries? I also have two little ones, so I was scared to death that I'd never see them again. I believe the bypass is too drastic, your whole digestive system is altered. I had the gastric sleeve done on 2/9/06 & have lost almost 40 lbs. With the sleeve all they do is make your stomach smaller...that's it! No re-routing of your intestines, no dumping syndrome, no malabsorption, none of that. The lap-band is supposed to be the "safest" procedure, but according to many of the doctors that I've spoken with, its also one of the ones with the highest complications. Please research the gastric sleeve or sleeve gastrectomy, you won't regret it. Best of luck, Maggie

Maggie, I was just reading your reply and was suprised to see you had heard that the lapband was one w/the highest complications....Im still in the research mode...plan to do lap band before the years up..so any input i can get will help....I have read the most complications are with rny including the higher death rates 1-200 verses 1-2000 with lapband...can you tell me what you have heard as far as complications being the most with LB??thanks ~Chantay

hi, i am 32 and i have 4yr old twins i have a date for the rny april 27th, i am so scared, i just keep thinking if i dont come out of it how will my hubby tell my babies that mama is not coming home that she went to heaven??? how do i even explain to them that im having surgery??? im 290lbs and i was insulin resistant and just crossed over to full blown diabetic which is also so scary with my blood sugars out of control... i feel like poo poo, i cant get through the day without a nap, i always have a headache, i really dont know what to do, my dr. does both lap band and rny and i have switched back and forth between the 2 for a long time, i still dont know which one i will end up doing, i am self pay and im worried that with the lapband if it slips or erodes i will have to pay again to have it fixed, i will be in so much debt. with the rny as long as i come out of it i feel that i will be ok but its just the waking up part i need to get over that fear. i wish that we could all know if wed be ok it would make things so much easier, best of luck to you tami