Trouble with your support system

 Hi there everybody. I had my RNY in 2007 and have had problems from the start. Without boring everyone with the horrible details short version I almost died. I spent 7 1/2 weeks on a respirator and in an induced coma. I made it through and it has been a tough road. My husband and kids were wonderful and we thought the worse was over. But unfortunately 4 years later I'm still sick. I've been in the hospital 4 times since July 31st for aspiration pneumonia cause I vomit in my sleep. My children are numb with the fact that I'm always sick. It's just become the new "norm". However my husband is a different story. Everytime I get sick its like he's mad at me. When I tell him things hurt or he hears me vomiting he unintentionally makes me feel bad. He will roll his eyes at me, or sigh or just do different body language letting me know he's mad. Last week he told me he was mad 24 hours a day 7 days a week and I'm no longer the woman he married. My first surgeon stole me from him by botching my RNY. Has anyone else experience this lack of support and feel like you are alone? Does anyone feel guilty that they put their family through all this pain? How do you cope? I already see a therapist but trying to get my husband to go is like pulling teeth and on the occasion that he may go he sits there like a lump on a log and says nothing. Any help would greatly appreciated. Thanks guys!!

I ABSOLUTELY feel guilty for putting my family thru all that they have. My inability to work caused us to lose our home, cars, dogs and way of life.
The lack of support is astounding. Even my wls community peers seem to go on the attack when I mention the negative things that I've encountered because of wls.
Its sad that surgeons will line up around the block to perform the surgery, but then talk about how dangerous a takedown is, like cutting up perfectly working organs to begin with is sooooo safe.
I had my rny takedown 3.5 years after my wls and its the best thing I could have done. My takedown was 4 years ago and I had to fly from Colorado to new York to get it done but it was absolutely worth it.
Grace

So sorry you're going through all of the hardships. In times like this the best you can do is pray and I'll be praying for you too. My husband had the RNY a year ago and he is super skinny but he seems to be healthy. I'm preparing to have it so your experience is a little scary to hear. I'm tired of being in pain so I'm. going forward. I'm wondering what a take down is.

I am sorry about what has happened to you.  I also had surgery complications and felt like a huge burden to my family when I first got released. I still feel like a burden now. Luckily there have only been a couple situations where I am made to feel guilty for having surgery in the first place and made to feel bad about feeling bad.

As for your husbands comment about the botched RNY taking away his wife. I am sorry that he feels that way.  How do you feel?  Are you the same woman that you were before the complications? Personally I feel like a lot more than extra stomach was taken from me on that table.