divorce

God's yellow pages....I clicked on divorce and found this.... http://web2.airmail.net/dpelc/yellow/ Mark 10:2-12 (New International Version) 2Some Pharisees came and tested him by asking, "Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife?" 3"What did Moses command you?" he replied. 4They said, "Moses permitted a man to write a certificate of divorce and send her away." 5"It was because your hearts were hard that Moses wrote you this law," Jesus replied. 6"But at the beginning of creation God 'made them male and female.'[a] 7'For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife,[b] 8and the two will become one flesh.'[c] So they are no longer two, but one. 9Therefore what God has joined together, let man not separate." 10When they were in the house again, the disciples asked Jesus about this. 11He answered, "Anyone who divorces his wife and marries another woman commits adultery against her. 12And if she divorces her husband and marries another man, she commits adultery." *************************************************************** I've read it before and even talked to my pastor's about it....does this mean I won't be able to get married again and if I do I will be commiting adultery? Please help!...PLEASE..I'm so confused. If you read on my 8/2/05 update on my profile, you'll read that it wasn't my choice...Please someone give me some words of wisdom. God blessYOU, Letty

Letty, I believe this is where God's grace comes into play. I really don't have any scripture to back this up. I know a lot of people who are godly folks and are being used of the Lord who were divorced and have remarried. Do not allow people or satan to heap condemnation on you. The bible tells us there is therefore no condemnation in Christ Jesus. Were both you and your ex husband Christians when your divorce took place? I will talk to me dad (retired A/G pastor) and get his thoughts on this for you. Don't worry, Blessings. Suzzette

It says "And if SHE divorces her husband and marries another man, she commits adultery" YOU didn't divorce him, HE divorced you. Your only obligation was to seek every possible method for reconciliation before agreeing to the divorce. I believe you did that. Because he was the one that left you, he was the one that broke the covenant. I believe that you can remarry without fear of sin. Dawn

Hello Letty, It has been a long time since either one of us have been on the board. It is good to see you are still alive. My wife was met with the same question when we were due to get married. In fact her pastor wouldn't even marry us because of that reason. At the time I was not a very strong believer, but one thing that my wife and I both knew and that was God did forgive us for our sins once we asked. If Jesus can forgive a thief, then He can forgive adultery. I feel in my heart that you are a strong woman in Christ and you know where your heart is and God knows where your heart is. Everyday we sin, knowingly and unknowingly. Everyday we ask for forgiveness in Jesus name, God will wipe those sins away and cleanse us. Everyday it is a new start, to make a new life for ourselves and not go back to the same sins as yesterday, because yesterday is gone and can not be brought back. Put your past at God's feet and walk away and let him wash you clean of any sins that might still be in your life and enjoy a new life with your husband as ONE. God bless you Letty and don't let the devil take your joy and happiness by making you doubt and question. Have a good day. Ken

Hi Letty... While I know there is fault on both sides of a divorce, you are not the one who broke the covenant of marriage - your ex husband did. I have manyt friends who are pastors or teachers in various churches and they all agree that the person causing the divorce by breaking the marriage covenant (by adultery, leaving, filing for the divorce, etc) is the one that will be committing adultery if they remarry. The person who does not break the covenant is free to remarry. (Of course, if both commit adultery, then neither is free to remarry without sinning). Now remember, that sin is sin, no matter what it is and that God does not say that adultery is any worse or better than another sin. Furthermore, the only unforgivable sin is blaspheming the Holy Spirit. My last thought I want to leave you with is that God hates divorce, but loves the divorcing parties. From your profile it is clear that it is not your fault you are divorced, so I really do not think that it would be a sin for you to remarry. God Bless and remember Jeremiah 29:11

Dear Letty, I haven't posted to the board in a while. I have to comment on your post though. It was a little over 11 years ago when I struggled with that same verse of scripture. I felt that my usefulness as a Christian ended when my first husband divorced me. I talked with my pastor for a long time concerning the issue. He assured me that I could still be an active member in the church--God did not condemn me for my divorce--He condemns the sin of divorce but not the parties involved. I was given a book to read entitled "Good News for Divorcees". I will try to find it so I can send you an e-mail about the topic of that book. That book was a blessing to me because it helped to remove that mantle of guilt I carried around along with the stigma I felt because I was "divorced". I have been remarried for 10.5 years. This is the second marriage for myself and my husband. WE both had similar experiences of our spouses walking out on us and then filing for divorce. In fact, his ex-wife walked out on him and left him with two children at home, she didn't make contact with him for over a year. When she did come home, she told him she wanted a divorce. Being divorced yourself, I don't need to remind you about the emotions involved with divorce. I agree with the other posts. You do not sin if your first husband left you and filed for divorce. Especially if you did everything you could towards reconciliation. I'll talk with you again later. If you send your address to my e-mail I will mail you a copy of that book if you are interested in it. That is if I find it. God bless you, Kathy [email protected]

Letty, My own pastor is divorced and we have talked about this very thing. His wife left him and he actually left the ministry for about 5 years because of his own struggles with that very thing. He was struggling between what HE wanted and what God's word said as you quoted. While he is still unmarried, he does believe that God's grace will allow him to marry again and be faithful in that marriage. We live in troubled times my dear and God knows our true heart. All I can say is PRAY and PRAY some more. You will feel God's pull on your heart and you will know the right thing to do when the time is right. God Bless you! Kim 217/192/135 Lapband 12/29/05

Letty, please remember that God hates divorce, but divorce itself is not a sin - remarriage when you are the one breaking the covenant of marriage is the sin. This means your ex would be the person sinning if he remarried, but you are free to remarry because you did not break the covenant of marriage.

I am praying for God's peace to be with you. He has a plan for your life, you are precious to Him. He longs to bless you and use you for His purposes. I am confident that God will not withhold any blessings in your life, including remarriage if that is what He has for you. Whatever He has planned for you, that will be the life that you will want to live. I support what the others have posted. Try and find a christian divorce care ministry in a church in your area. God bless you with His love and grace and may a dump truck back up to your yard and beep,beep,beep, dump out all of His mercy and joy. I pray that you will know the overflowing of His Love, Blessings to you, J. Marie

God does prefer that a mrriage be reconciled, but he is also a loving God who wants the best for his children. Reconciliation takes two parties, and if one of them refuses to obey the Lord and submit to him, then the Lord will release the other child from the marriage bond. I also have another passage that the Lord showed me when I was struggling about initiating the divorce, it gave me great comfort, Isaiah 54:4-8 4 "Do not be afraid; you will not suffer shame. Do not fear disgrace; you will not be humiliated. You will forget the shame of your youth and remember no more the reproach of your widowhood. 5 For your Maker is your husband-- the LORD Almighty is his name-- the Holy One of Israel is your Redeemer; he is called the God of all the earth. 6 The LORD will call you back as if you were a wife deserted and distressed in spirit-- a wife who married young, only to be rejected," says your God. 7 "For a brief moment I abandoned you, but with deep compassion I will bring you back 8 In a surge of anger I hid my face from you for a moment, but with everlasting kindness I will have compassion on you," says the LORD your Redeemer. I have also found comfort in Ephesions 5:25-30. This can be a comfort for those who are not divorced, but essentially abandoned emotionally by their husbands. God may use these wives to lead their husbands to Him, but God knows that some men will never choose to obey Him, and God does want his daughters to be loved and cared for and he may release us from abusive relationships, even when our spouse has not committed adultery or abandoned us physically. You are not to blame if you did not initiate the divorce, even if you played some part in it. You are not to blame for leaving an abusive relationship either (if that applies to you), even if you initiated that divorce. Finally, if you marry in disobedience, God can forgive it. I don't believe God included the passages that you quoted to condemn a person for being abandoned, but rather to warn the person doing the abandoning. That is just not the God I know. God is not a God of rules, but a God of love. Keep Praying for clarity and I am certain the Lord will show you his desire. Also if you have not found a Christian Divorce Care group in your community, you can also find the ministry online at www.divorcecare.org. Best of Luck to you in your new relationship. Love in Christ! Heidi L-S