Seeking Guidance

Not sure where to start without writing a novel but the long and short of it is, I don't feel I belong at my church anymore. I don't have any peers there, and I'm not just talking about WLS. The average age of member in my church is about 68 with the majority being older. I just turned 40. There is only one other career woman with college age kids, there are a couple women a few years older than me but in vastly different life cir****tances. There is no longer a Sunday school class that addresses "middle aged" issues, there are two adult Sunday school classes, one for those over 60 yrs and one for those over 80 yrs. I'm feeling lost and not sure how to reconcile my commitments there. I've tried to meet with the Pastor but he has fallen ill (actually hospitalized) and is not available. The things that first drew me to my church are no longer there. There is no youth group any longer (very long story), I already mentioned no Sunday school, I'm very frustrated and don't know what to do. I do have commitments at the church, I sing in the Chancel Choir, I chair the College Ministries Committee, and am on the Communications Committee, plus I've already committed to the VBS Director that I'd help her with the program. I'm so conflicted because I feel I need to go somewhere else to be spiritually fed but at the same time I feel like I can't leave because of my current involvement. Any advice or guidance is appreciated. Thank you Toni

Hey Toni, Here is my two cents for what its worth. I really do understand how you feel. My church and bible study class has really gone through a lot of changes in the last 2 years and I have felt disconnected. However, I have also felt convicted to not only stay, but to serve as much as I can. It has not been easy. However, I now think I see the reasons God wanted me to stay. So, I am glad I listened to Him. My bible study leader said this just last week: We often think that at church, we are the audience, the pastor is the actor, and God is the director. However, in fact, the pastor is the director, we are the actors, and God is the audience. The point of the comment was that we go to church to worship God not necessarily to be fed. Although I do believe that there are times of feeding for all of us. It sounds like you have been and are serving in your church. If I were you, I would pray about what God wants you to do and try to keep your commitments as much as possible. God will tell you what He wants and needs from you. I hope this helps some. Love, Jacinda

Hi Toni! I do agree with Just Jac that you should defiantly pray and ask for Gods guidance and direction. But I also know that in my life there was a time I was at a church I was deeply committed too and loved. God used that church and the people there in a mighty way in my life... for a time. After a few years I started to not really feel connected anymore and wanting something more something different. God lead me to another church. I know that I was meant to be at both of these churches. God used them in totally different yet wonderful ways in different parts of my life. We had to move away form that church last summer but have decided that we will be moving back. I just emailed my pastor there to let him know. I am soo excited and ready. As I grew, I changed. I know this was God will for me. I don't know that it is for you, but let Him lead you and you will be in the right place! I will be praying for that!! God bless you~ Candy

Toni~ I can totally sympathize with you and your dilemma. Just a few months ago my husband and I went through a difficult church move. My thoughts are this and it may differ slightly from the other girls. First we go to church to worship, we serve outside of the church building. If you find that you are leaving every Sunday with a heavy heart, your worship is being hindered. You need to fall on your face before God and ask for direction. For us it was a little more complicated as my husband was an associate minister. But every Sunday I went home miserable, sometimes even in tears. I felt as though I was going there to worship and left feeling completely empty. When we decided to make the change I was even more withdrawn. I felt so bad leaving people that I have grown to love as family. But after we left it was like a weight had been lifted. I look forward to Sundays again for one. The major change is how God is just blessing our family in every way possible. I believe that the hard feelings I was having in the old church was preventing God from blessing me. I know that the decision you have to make is a hard one. Especially when you are so involved with the ministries there. But you need to remember that this is about your relationship with God, not the members of that church. You need to be where you can be closest to Him. My husband was an obvious leader and I was the children's church leader, so it was hard for us too. But let me tell you, it was the best decision we have ever made. Love, Dawn

Hello toni, Yes I agree with the other members, pray and ask God for direction. If God sent you there ask Him if your mission is completed. Make sure that your leaving aren't for selfish reason. I"m not saying the next statement is you, but some times we have dessert only christians, as long as things go smooth we are right there. But when things get rough, we start looking for a place that's serving dessert. God wants stability. If your church is not serving spiritual food, don't sit there and die of starvation. You may have to bring some food in or go where it's being served. Let the Holy Ghost lead you. God bless, pooky