Just need to chat...

Hi everyone. I am needing to chat about a few things and I was hoping it would be okay to do so here. I am three weeks from surgery and I am, well lets just say I am worried about how well I will do. I have not been able to stick to any kind of eating plan, low-cal, low-carb, low-fat, three meals a day, nothing. I am kind of in a mind set of "eat what I want since I won't be eating this way for a long time." I don't know if anyone else has had these kinds of feelings. I am quite frustrated with myself and really beginning to question if I can do this. I don't have to start the pre-op liquids until about 4 days before my surgery. Part of me wants to start earlier, just to help me drop a few lbs before surgery. Yet part of me says no way. Eat all you can and where you want before it's all over. I don't get my mind sometimes. My dh's birthday is 5 days after my surgery. He wants to go out to eat before my surgery so that we won't miss celebrating. I know he wants to be supportive. He doesn't want to ask me to make his favorite meal and dessert when I can't eat any of it. So the reason for celebrating before my surgery. I am now fearful that I will fail miserably both on the pre-op diet and following surgery. I want this so badly. I need this! I can't fail-AGAIN! So if it is really that important to me then why am I already sabotaging myself before I even begin. Does any of this make sense to anybody? Did any of you feel this way? I sure hope I am not alone here. I have been journaling all of these feelings and more. I am hoping that writing it down will help me to get it all out and get over it more quickly. Weight is one area of my life where i have not been able to succeed. I am ready to succeed. I have to admit that I quit talking to the Lord about this after a long time. I was tired of failing not just my diet or myself, but Him as well. I really need to get back to praying about this. I need Him to be with me and I need Him to give me strength to do what I have to do. He has made a way, were I had been told for years that there was no way, for me to have this surgery. Everything fell into place, literally without any snags, hicups or problems. I believe this He indeed made this happen for me. I just need to give my fears and concerns to Him and recommit myself to following the plan and getting his help to do it. He is my Lord and wants to bless me, answer my cries and give me the desires of my heart. Well, thanks to anyone "listening". I am so glad to have all of you here to help me, to learn from and to share with. God bless you all. Love, Robin S.

Robin~ I was feeling SUCH similar things before surgery. I even did some of the last supper things you are doing. You know, once you have had the surgery, things will be different. For the first time in a long time you will SEE RESULTS. Those results will in turn motivate you to WANT to succeed. Does that mean I don't have bad days. NO. But, it means that when I do, I am much quicker to get back on my feet, dust myself off and start all over again. You will be FINE. Come here and do JUST what you are doing. Talk to us. Talk to people who will support you. Also, go to God. He is your Daddy God and can handle anything. Be honest about what you are feeling. HE DELIGHTS IN YOU!! You are His child and he desperately wants to be there for you. He isn't disappointed in you, rather, He is giving you and opportunity to be weak so HE can be strong. You will do GREAT...don't give up~

Becky, Thank you! I receive the encouragement from you that God delights in me. I know this, it's just great to be reminded sometimes. I am really looking forward to seeing results. I know that God will not ever fail me and He is going to lead me every step of the way. You all are the best. I love this site and my friends here. Love, Robin S.

Robin, I'm new in here and haven't even been approved by my insurance yet but I totally understand you feeling like a failure. I just wanted to give you a word of encouragement. " Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer & petition, with thanksgiving present your request to God" Phil 4:6 That one always brings me back to reality! You are precious to God and He has made you "fearfully and wonderfully" Psalms 139:14 You are human is why you are having doubts but you will be a much smaller human in the near furture Romans 15:13

Thank you Jereni. I love that verse too(phil4:6). I must remember to keep going back to God. I love the anagram PUSH, Pray Until Something Happens! I can't quit asking God for help in ALL areas of my life. I will pray that you are approved soon. I look forward to being a much smaller human with you, my friend! Love, Robin

Robin, Your last comment, I would like to address first.....you acknowledge God's divine intervention in this process and if you are able to recognize it...you're still in touch with Him. Oh, maybe you haven't been committed to regular daily devotion or prayer but His spirit dwells within you for you to give testimony to His work. It's interesting now, because everyday I wake up and say "thank you God for my life and where you have brought me to in this journey" so, in that respect, my surgery has brought me closer to being a responsive child of God. I can't imagine one day without talking to Him now. It is normal that you eat in your presurgery anxiety and/or stress. After all, that is what brought many of us to the state for the need to have WLS. This does not mean that you will be a failure after surgery....you'll be using a whole new bag of "tools" to cope. I had my surgery just before Christmas and I still made the desserts for our holiday dinner....I was not tempted at all....the desire for those things was no more....and I'm a true carboholic. Celebrate your husband's birthday and tell him not to feel bad if all you are able to eat is only a few tablespoons of soup, or sip warm tea..that's just the way it is for awhile. That was a big adjustment for my husband but now he knows.... You are in my prayers....you will do well. luvitsunnyv

LuvitSunny V, Thank you for your kind, encouraging words and wisdom. I know God is with me all the time. I know he understands how I am feeling and He wants to comfort me. I am encouraged to continue asking God for help and success in doing what is best for my body and for success with the tool of WLS. I know that God want me to succeed too! I appreciate your words regarding my dh. He is very understanding and I know he will continue to be. We will all be going through changes and will have to make adjustments. I am so grateful for the support that I have in this journey. Thank you again. Love, Robin S.

hello -- Robin, I feel you very much. I'm pretty much going through the same emotions you are. My surgery date is April 3rd and I have been eating everything like a mad women. I've been through the million and one comments flying through my head about how committed I am to the diet restrictions after surgery. Wondering, if i can't be successful before surgery how in the world will I make it after the surgery. Here is the truth in the natural: The devil is seeking to throw everyone obstacles in our way as possible and the best deterrent is to mess with our minds. You see obesity is a disease and it needs to be treated. It will be treated with the "tool" that you choose. You wil be provided with the information on how to best manage your tool so that you are healthy and a great "loser". Here is the truth according to your faith: As a faith based individual we put our trust in God. We belive in his holy word and find comfort in it. It is only natural that you have fears and concerns (DON'T BEAT YOURSELF UP ABOUT THEM). God wants us to latch onto him for comfort. He perfectly understands that we make mistakes, that we fall, that we aren't perfect. He is a great big and mighty God who wants to be our saviour. You see when you think you fail, you actually succeed in christ because you know to call upon his name. You are not a failure. You will succeed. Look at each day and not ten or twenty days down the road. Everyday I thank God for who he is and what he is doing for me in my life. Even when I willing reach for the snacks. I say lord I'm making a poor choice right now because i'm weak. You know what he doesn't even bat an eye and condemn me he simply gives me encouragment. Every day doesn't exactly goes as plan but everynight when I go to sleep and every morning that the lord allows me to awaken I thank him.....and the hard spots, the low moments, the poor food choices simply don't matter anymore. I hope your spirit is encouraged. continue in the faith and put your fears and concerns in the masters hand and leave them there. You are more than a conqueror. God bless you your sister April or nepo

Nepo, Thank you for reminding me of those truths! I needed to hear them again. I know that I need to continue taking my requests to God, making them known to him. He wants to answer me and give me the desires of my heart. I will be praying for you as you pray for me. WE are more than conquerors. Thank you for encouraging me. Love, Robin S.