What would you do??

If your 9 year old son comes home and asks you, "Mom, when can I start dating?" Oh my goodness I felt like I was going to faint! I came home yesterday from work and my son wasn't home only my little cousin whom I'm also raising as my own. My boyfriend watches them for about an hour after school while I get home. My son had gone with my boyfriend to take the dog to get bathed at the carwash. Yes, there's a place specially for "dogs" to get bathed at the carwash. My boyfriend comes smiling and says, "Joey needs to talk you." I was like..ok. They were both smiling and acting funny. Kinda goofy. That's when my son asks, "Mom, when can I start dating?" I was left speechless! I turn to look at my boyfriend and he's just there smiling at me! I was like, "Did you tell my son to ask me that?". He said No. I looked at my son and he said, " No, mom. He didn't." He then says, "There's a girl in another classroom who I know she likes me and I want to ask her out." I honestly felt like fainting!!! What would you do? I did have a talk with him and told him he's welcomed to tell this little girl to come over and play with him with his GoKart. Or we can all go out to a movie TOGETHER. Please help!! I was not expecting this until my son turned perhaps 16 or 18 years old. It might just be a game for him and I'm sure he doesn't know what "dating" means, but I'm really freaked out. Hugs, Letty

Hi Letty! Your son, Joey, sounds so cute! I have a 20 year old son, Kenny, who is now married, who loved the girls and it started about the age of 9. He grew out of it pretty quick though. It was like he was discovering that there was the opposite sex and was fascinated. We kept him pretty busy with sports, schoolwork, family outings and church, etc. He wasn't interested in girls again until he was about 17. We prayed that all the godly training we had given him would kick in. There are a lot of great Christian books out there for boys going through puberty on dating, etc. PTL we made it through his teenage years with no major girl problems and then this beautiful young Christian girl, Faith, he knew when he was 9! came back into his life and they were married this summer. They are continuing their college happily married. God is good! So I guess what I would say is, don't sweat it too much right now except to be training him in areas of the opposite sex, spend a lot of time with him, and encourage his growth in the Lord. Trust me, it won't be too long before girls have cooties again! Then when 15, 16, or 17 hits just pray that all the training and encouragement that you have given him will kick in! I love you Letty! God Bless, Lynda Phil. 4:8

Lynda thank you so much for sharing your experience! It wasn't too long ago that my son would say girls had cooties and now, look at him, he wants to "date"!! I still need to sit down and talk to him a little bit more about it. Love you, Letty

Letty, Kids say the darnest things. I agree with everything that Lynda said. This is a hard one because you don't want to say the wrong things yet you want to make sure that you say the right things. You don't want to make it seem like you aren't okay with him liking someone of the opposite sex but at the same time, he is only 9 years old and he'll have plenty of times when he gets older to date and ask girls out. I know that my 8 year old daughter has just started saying, "Oh he's cute" to every boy that she sees on TV or someplace that she thinks is attractive. But I know that its going to be a time when she is going to start wanting to approach boys and I am going to have to be ready. Hopefully, by my walk and action I can lead her to make the right decisions in life. Another idea that you may give your son instead of asking the girl to come over or go to the movies is to have him maybe plan a small party or get together for a few of friends including the girl. It can be some type of themed activity and he can invite a few of his classmates including this girl that he is interested in to come over one afternoon. That way, he will get the opportunity to be around other people his age in a social setting. Or maybe, call a few of his friends' parents including this girl for all the parents to get together with your children for an afternoon of fun and games. As a mother of a young girl age 8 and she came home and said that a boy in her class asked her to come over to play or go to the movies, I would kind of be hesitant because I do not want to rush anything on her so soon. I think at 8 or 9 years old, their focus should be on other things then planning to go out with the opposite sex. I think its because I am old-fashioned, even at 27 years old. Let me know how things work out Letty. JaNae

JaNae thank you so much for your advice!! Planning a small party sounds like fun and since he just had a birthday (Jan.2nd) and I didn't make a party for him because he preferred for me to buy him some raising games (he loves cars), then maybe I can rent a moonwalk and make hot dogs and have his friends come over. You know what, I'll do that! Even though I already spent $$ on him for his birthday, a moonwalk and hot dogs sound fun! I love you my Angellette, Letty

Letty, Hi there!!!! I have a son and he was asking the same questions. I did not too much focus on what he said as "DATING" I think he meant maybe a movie or something like that. At least I think that is what he meant. I think if he asks her out it can be a trip to the Mall. I don't think his idea of dating is what we did at a much older age. I know kids mature much faster now a days,,,,,, but I am sure he means it in a different way. To me he is still a baby. I wonder what the girls Mom and Dad will think? Can you imagine that one. I would never have let my daughter date at that age, but she did go to the movies with a few boys and girls. Just pray and hope that your son has the right path to follow down the right road. It can only be in Gods hands. watch over our children. Lorraine.

Thank you Lorraine! I'm also sure he really doesn't know the meaning of the word "dating", like us as adults do. For me he is still a baby and it really freaked me out when he asked me that. I'll be praying about it. Hugs, Letty

Oh Letty, I don't envy you girl! I am not sure what I would say to my son. Nine? Gosh that seems early. I don't know, I pray God gives you the wisdom and the grace to handle everything appropriately. Maybe he could invite her to church or something like that. Good luck, and God bless, Candy

Hello Candy! I just planned a small party with a moonwalk and some hot dogs. This way if he wants to invite her over, it'll be kids of their age. I'll still be having another talk with him tonight. Hugs, Letty

Letty, the party with the moonwalk and hot dogs sounds like a wonderful idea. I have a son who is 19 now. When he was 6, he swore that he was going to marry my friend Lori's daughter, Jennifer. Every day I would hear about what he and Jennifer would do when they were married. By the time he was 8, Jennifer was no longer the topic of his conversation because girl's had "cooties". At 16, he developed an attraction to a sweet young lady at our church, L. and she was 15. Her parents did not allow them to be alone together but they could talk together at youth group. They were not allowed to sit by each other in a church pew. Things continued this way until L. turned 16, then my son courageously asked her father if he might take L. on a date. It was approved but her father had to accompany them. They went on two or three dates and then the relationship fizzled out. My son has not been seeking a relationship since that time. And Not for the lack of young ladies flirting with him especially now that he works at Blockbuster. L. and my daughter still hang out together whenever L. is home from college. In fact, they spent this past weekend together. L. still talks about my son but she has found another young man that she feels God brought into her life. I agree with Lynda, Keep your son active in the youth group, church activities, and family activities. Train him well and you will not have to fear the future. Blessings to you my WLS sister, Kathy from MO