Hate, Resentment, Despise..Please help!!

WOW, I'm speechless!! I actually was thinking this morning of asking him to keep his child support money and for him to give up all his parental rights he has over my son. I honestly want him as far away as possible from my son since all he knows what to do is hurt him. So his wife is now friends with you? WOW. We should always fight evil with good and you've done that!!!! Thank you so much for your reply. I sometimes need to be reminded others have been through what I'm going and there testimonies sure do help to encourage others and I THANK YOU!! Letty

Well...now...of course...I don't need his money. I did back then because I had nothing. I have not asked for it now...even though I have the kids more. I am sure that was a big help in me getting the kids without much of a hassle. That is kind of sad, when you think about it. They are priceless treasures. Gifts from the Lord. God says so, and they were reduced to money. But, now...I don't have to worry about it...and they agreed to it willingly. I am praying for you Letty! Good things will come from this! Romans 8:28! Love, Stephanie

Dear Letty, Reading your post reminded me of all the emotions I used to fill when I was newly divorced with three children to raise in 1992. I would be filled with so much anger as you are now when I saw my children suffering because of their father's behaviour. There were so many broken promises, broken dates, birthdays spent alone, holidays spent alone and unreturned phone calls. My children are now 21, 19, and 17. The pain is still in their lives. Their father remarried and has one son. As my youngest daughter stated (when she viewed her father's family potraits at her oldest sisters house) "why didn't Daddy ever smile in our pictures". I will pray for you and your son. Blessings, Kathy from MO ps I must take my son to work will write more later

I'll be praying for my resentment not to be contagious as for my little man not to feel what I'm feeling. I'm having a talk with my baby tonight and I'll make sure he knows I love him no matter what. Last night when I sat in his recliner that my son has in his bedroom I saw a picture of his dad, him and myself at an amusement park we took back in summer of 02. I had closed the door to talk to my son and when I was talking to him I looked up and saw that picture. I asked him what that picture was doing there and he said for me to please leave it alone. I'm not going to ask him to take it down but I'm curious why he has it there. **sigh** Thank you for your prayers Kathy. Letty

Hi, Letty WEll I am back home and I am finally able to post to you again. This time however I read the other posts first. I really can't add much to what they have said. I am amazed at how many of us have "been there, done that" among the group. I did want to mention that although my ex-husband did not maintain good contact with my children, I did not stand in the way when my children expressed a desire to go live with Dad. Believe me, it was very hard to do emotionally. I just kept thinking of the saying, "If you love someone, let them go. If they love you, they will return". My oldest daughter went to live with her Dad when she was 16. It lasted three months. He brought her back home and said he couldn't deal with her. She was in special needs classes at school. She was considered educationally mentally handicapped. I allowed her to go live with her father because her therapist said it was very important for her to establish a relationship with her father. My son decided at age 15 he wanted to live with his father. Of course, the fact that Dad was moving to Hawaii might have influenced that decision. LOL. My son lasted 9 months living with his father and step-mother. He called my parents up in tears and begged them to help him get home. His step-mother accussed him of inappropriate behaviour. My son still will not visit with his father and step-mother alone. This past fall he helped drive his father's vehicles from Colorado to Florida. However, my son was never alone with his step-mother. He made sure his father or sister were with him at all times. My son is struggling with relationship issues with the opposite sex. He is afraid he will turn out like his father so he refuses to pursue any relationships with the young ladies at church. He has sought counseling with our pastor about the issues he is dealing with from his childhood. My son has surrendered his life to Christian ministry. He is active with the Praise Band, youth deacon program, youth mentor program, and 262 ministries at our church. He is a soul-winner. I prayed that he would be a soul-winner. I named him Andrew so that he would be a soul-winner and God has kept that promise to me. Praise the Lord!! My youngest daughter does not remember her father very well. She drew up a list of questions for him. She asked him point blank "Are you ashamed of us?" "Why doesn't your family know about us?" "Why don't you call us?" I have decided that I made the right choice years ago when I decided not to speak ill of their father in their presence. My children are now asking their father the questions I have always wanted to ask him on their behalf. He made his choices years ago, now he has to live with the consequences. Thank God I was able to raise my children in a Christian Home and environment. The greatest blessing that has occurred in the past year is My children consider their step-father "DAD". In fact they now introduce themselves as the Crider family. Praise God!!! I apologize if this seems lengthy to you. I will continue to pray for you and your little boy. Keep turning those feelings over to God. Remember Satan likes to keep us out of commission and always strikes where we are vulnerable. What mother isn't vulnerable when it comes to her children? If you ever need to talk you can reach me at 573-528-6165 or email me at [email protected] Thank God for Christian sisters who lift each other up in prayer!! Love, Kathy from MO