i am praying sooo hard, please pray with me

hi my name is maureen, I have recently re-invested myself into Jesus Christ. my BMI is 58.3 and I weigh 398 lbs. now many of you know how that feels. My sister who i have lived with for the last 30 years passed away on Sept 28th. she was sick for apx 2yrs in the hosp more than she was home. We had talked about this surgery, and even when i wasnt sure, she was. she was worried I'd die if I didnt do something about my weight. She even had me call mortgage co's to see about refinancing her townhse to get me the money I needed to have the surgery. Well when she died she had a little money saved and I was one of the beneficiaries, so thru her dead she will give me life, or so i hoped. The company I work for is changing ins co's the 1st of the yr. naturally the new carrier doesnt cover the surgery. so i have been jumping thru hoops to get everything needed done, and submitted to the ins co. Well I called Cigna yda, and I am APPROVED......YEAH!!~~right? well not so fast.. I cant get the surgeon to set a date. He still want to talk to my psych dr. who is horrible when it comes to getting him on the phone. called the sureons ofc today, but he wasnt in. I tried to shop some today, tried being the operative word. Halfway thru i was sweating to death, my back felt like it would break, and my knees felt like they would blow out any minute. When I went to church tonite, I could hardly focus, because I kept having horrible muscle spasms. My sister (Rhona) has a birthday this Saturday, she would have been 49. I feel the greatest tribute or way to honor my sister is to fullfil her wish for me to start a good life, a healthy life. I pray to God that he reaches out to my surgeon, and get me this surgery. please pray with me, or for me. God help me! our surmon tonite talked about positive affirmations, so I am speaking loudly.. God hear my prayers! Give me a new life, a healthy life. After church I was speaking so strongly to God, (and in so much pain) that I just sat in my car and cried my eyes out. I know my sis will be my guardian angel thru the surgery. I miss her more than i can put into words. I am pinning all my hopes on my future, because if I dont, I dont know how I will be able to let go of her or my past. So as asked in the begining. PLEASE PRAY WITH ME! Oh God Please Help me! I can also be reached at [email protected]

Hui Maureen. I am lifting you up in prayer right now that your surgeon and psych dr. move swiftly and get you the surgery just when you need it. God bless and keep you in His tender care. Peg

MAUREEN, I PRAYED THAT THE DR'S WILL MOVE SWIFTLY AND YOU WILL BE ALL SET TO GO . GOD IS ALWAYS ON TIME. HUGS, AND PRAYERS. TRUDY

Hi Maureen, WELCOME! You are now in the company of brothers and sisters who love the Lord and will pray for you - I love this board! I am so happy that you are walking with the Lord! It sounds like you are going through some trials to get this surgery approved - I will definately be praying for things to move along smoothly and I pray that God will give you peace about your sister and your past. You have a bright future ahead in the Lord Jesus Christ! Love ya - please hang in there! God Bless, Lynda Phil. 4:8

Maureen, First let me say "hi" and welcome to our group!!! Do you realize that every situation we face has a solution right in God's word? As I was reading your post I felt the spirit of God taking me to Matthew 14:25-33: Now in the fourth watch of the night Jesus went to them, walking on the sea. And when the disciples saw Him walking on the sea, they were troubled, saying, "It is a ghost!" And they cried out for fear. But immediately Jesus spoke to them, saying, "Be of good cheer! It is I; do not be afraid." And Peter answered Him and said, "Lord, if it is You, command me to come to You on the water." So He said, "Come." And when Peter had come down out of the boat, he walked on the water to go to Jesus. But when he saw that the wind was boisterous, he was afraid; and beginning to sink he cried out, saying, "Lord, save me!" And immediately Jesus stretched out His hand and caught him, and said to him, "O you of little faith, why did you doubt?" And when they got into the boat, the wind ceased. Then those who were in the boat came and worshiped Him, saying, "Truly You are the Son of God." You have asked God permission to have this surgery. He said "yes". Now you have to keep your eyes focused on Him. If you allow yourself to doubt and look away, you will begin to sink.(break fellowship) But praise God, the text says that when we call out to Him for recuse that He IMMEDIATELY will grab our hand and save us!!! Never doubt the blessings that God had in store for you. We serve an unchanging God. Never in the bible do we read that God changed His mind on anything. Stand firm and KNOW that if God said that He wills WLS for you...it WILL be done. Don't let the enemy try to fool you. God bless, Dawn

Thank you Dawn, I loved the passage you chose. Its so describes how I am feeling. I am trying soo very hard release this and to place this in God's hands. It is so hard, I have sooo little faith in doctors, I have alot of faith in the lord, its the dr's that make me crazy. While my sister was sick for the last 2 years, she left it to me to handle dealing with the nurses and dr's. I found most of them to be uncaring, and to busy to be worried about her needs. They had the big picture in their minds, not the individuals. I am still working on accepting and forgiving in my grief. I still feel its the hospital's fault she died when she did. I know it was God's decision. Its just really hard knowing they ignored my warning that nite that something was wrong and didnt even call her dr. But i am at church every sunday and wednesday, praying for Gods help in my mourning. And I pray nite and day, thru out the weeks, I am seeing a therypist. I have also been talking to one of the pastors at my church about starting a support group. I recieve online daily devotionals from greifshare.org. But I am sorry, this is not the place to go into that. I came to you and the others for prayers that I hear from my surgeon with a date for my surgery b4 its to late. I was only trying to explain why i am having so much trouble staying focused on trusting in God for this, considering my history with doctors recently. But make no mistake, I love our God with all my heart. And even when I didnt take time to go to church, I still prayed and had an abundance of faith. I am just trying to pray very hard right now, and need all the help i can get. Because I am only human, and the grieving process is hard, and I've been told its very natural to have conficts at this time. So for those moments that I loose focus, I pray that you and others helping with prayers will make up for my short falls. God Bless You, Maureen p.s. again thank you for that chapter and verse

Maureen, The grieving process is to be expected and everyone goes though it differently. Ecclesiastes 3:4 says that there is "A time to weep, And a time to laugh; A time to mourn, And a time to dance;" Right now you are in "a time to mourn". But you know what, one morning you are going to wake up and realize the mourning is over. As a women of faith, we can rejoice in the fact that our brothers and sisters in the Lord are only apart from us for a moment. As she laid on the bed of affliction I'm sure you prayed for her pain to go away. Sweetie, God answered that prayer!!! She is pain free. She is in a place where there are no tears, praise God!! Revelations 21:4 "And God will wipe away every tear from their eyes; there shall be no more death, nor sorrow, nor crying. There shall be no more pain, for the former things have passed away" If you must grieve, grieve...but do it because of you, not her. She is walking hand in hand with our precious saviour!!!! Oh, can you imagine what it will be like on that day when we can look at His glorious face and see His nail scared hands; when we can embrace Him and thank Him for redeeming us back to His Father? Personally, I can't wait!!!! love, Dawn

Dear Maureen, My condolences to you upon the death of your sister. My sister-in-law died on Valentines Day of this year. She would have been 49 this coming year. My sons birthday is Sept. 28th. He will be 20 years old in 2006. I will most definitely pray for you and with you to have your surgery approved. I understand the frustration you must be feeling. My husbands insurance company changed 2 years ago which prevented me from having the surgery then. However, this year when he was activated for military service, I was able to have the surgery. Praise God! Just as you said, it makes all the difference in the world. I weighed 354 before my surgery. I could not walk around the store because of the pain it caused. I would be so out of breath I could not talk to others. I am so happy for you. When we turn our lives over to God, he will send his angels to guard and protect us. I hope you don't mind if I share the following verse with you. It is a promise I claimed as my own while I awaited my surgery. It is found in Psalm 91:9-12. "Because you have made the LORD, who is my refuge, Even the MOST HIGH, your dwelling place, No evil shall befall you, Nor shall any plague come near your dwelling, For He shall give His angels charge over you, To keep you in all your ways In their hands they shall bear you up, Lest you dash your feet against a stone." NKJV My email address is [email protected] Drop me a line if you ever want to talk. Prayerfully, Kathy Crider

Maureen, I am praying for you. God knows what is best for you and most importantly He is an on time God. Just know that weeping endures for a night but joy cometh in the morning time. Your time is coming, hold on and be strong for your sister. May God bless you and keep you under His wings! JaNae

I am adding my prayer to the others here. I too believe that the Lord loves you with an everlasting love and cares more about you and your future than anyone else on earth every could. So glad to read that you have made the decision to put your trust in Jesus!