Inspiration at the Hospital

Hi , I went through a real spiritual journey during my stay at the hospital. My first trip was seemingly easy and i forget most of it, but I was throwing up too much when I got home so I had to go back for a revision. I felt tormented when I first got there that it was sin that ,although not the cause of my current physical state- a leakage of some sort or blockage?? ,was something I wanted off my mind. Being Catholic and in a Catholic Hospital I had the luxury of being able to ask for a priest and one came pretty soon. I had waited in prayer, sometimes singing the hymns and prayers I knew. After being unburdened of my sins and the priest left I sunk into my earthly cares again. When will I have the operation, this bed is uncomfortable, will I fall asleep entirely when anestizied (yes! of course I did)for the investigational and larger operation. I was not yet thinking of life and death, that was on hold. They did tests that kept my mind off things, physically i felt ok since I wasnt eating anything. The operation came and went. Then there was the sobering hour of waking up and waiting for the surgeon to pronounce how my surgury went. My heart was frozen. Life or death is what I thought. They came to my room and said the surgury was difficult but went well.I thanked the surgeons but I left someone out (guess who..).Well anyway there were more tests to test how this second surgury went. One was a swallowing test. I didnt pass it and there was much concern from the technician. I took it like a deth knell. I gave up. I was so dismal after that. There was one thing that gave me hope and help. Down the hallway was a beautiful old statue of the Blessed Virgin holding the Christ child in her arms. I would sit impaitiently in my room then many times ask myself "What can I do now?" Well, I would keep being drawn to get up, and take a walk out to that statue and sit next to it in one of the chairs. I cant remember praying , but maybe this was Gods time to work and my time to rest.I was so miserable , so many times I said to nurses or loved ones "I'm going to die here in this hospital" I couldnt quite imagine of what, but I felt for sure I wasnt getting better. The hospital cafeteria didnt have good ideas of what to serve gastric bypass paitients as of the time i went in, and for a few days I was getting sick all the time. This and the technicians dismal look convinced me that the second surgury had also failed.So, as I said, I would keep getting up and going to that statue ,which by the way turned out to be very good physically for me as well as spiritually.I went down and at times the negativity even tried to convince me there was nothing after death.When I realized how serious this low was (althogh its not what I would call "depressed" it was less a mood then a struggle for sense of place in life) I realized I must do something about it. I looked good and hard at the cross , remembered that there was a parapligic down the hall (who was probably enjoying a good meal I have to add), and determined to carry my cross whatever it was going to be. whew! once i did that things got easier. I found my head was clearer and remembered the advice of my nutritionist outside the hospital,no salty soups, absolutly no sugery juices and such. So I got on the backs of anyone I could find about getting me off the "nutrition bag" and back off NPO and give me something my body could absorb, and in smaller quantity this time. Well, the nurses made my survival as much a do it yourself project as it was. They didnt have protien drinks, not even a sugarfree carnation instant breakfast! What were they serving the diabetics? They took me off NPO and I ignored they trays filled with all the wrong things**** cream??).I stuck with dixie cups of milk every fourty minutes as tolerated for a couple of days. Then my Mom brought me in some Atkins Advantage drink and sf jello. My last couple of days there were what I would say was even enjoyable listening to some praise music(the perfect gift my sister brought for me) on the CD player and just being happy knowing ,even though things had turned around for me and I was OK again,that no matter how things had gone it would have been OK to carry any cross God had seen fit. He never gives us too great a burden to carry, for He is always with us along the journey. I'm glad I had the operation, two months out and down 40 pounds, I can walk again without always having to stop and sit down (althogh I was 250 to start i have scoliosis and was in pain a lot). Even though I had complications, I would recommend this surgury to anyone who needed it.

Dina, Your posting was very touching to me. I am going to have the surgery on July 15th. I also rely very heavily on the Lord. Thank you for sharing your story. Melanie G

Dina, I too am having my surgery in a Catholic hospital in Ft. Lauderdale, Fl. I'm a Catholic myself and was so surprised to find that out.( I feel very blessed because of this ) Sorry you had such a rough road with your surgery. God has put you to the test for sure. I hope all is well with you now and you can begin to walk with the Lord through your weightloss journey. I will remember you in my prayers during this Passion Week. God Bless you. margaret

Thanks Dina for your story, this reminds me that we are to give our burdens to him and lay them at his feet. I am thankful you are well and you overcame what Satan threw at you. He is so trying at times when we feel weak. He has sure attacked me lately when I let my guard down. But it sure does feel good when we get back up and let him know who is our Master and Saviour. God BLess you and keep the faith! In Christ Love, Tonya