God is Patient with me, hope you folks are too!

Hi everyone, I just discovered this board, and I am so thrilled! I wanted to post about something that I have been struggling with. About 2 years ago I joined The Weighdown Workshop at a chuch close to my work. It took me awhile to get the only 2 rules down, Only eat when your are physically hungry and stop when you are satisfied. I was praying , meditating, jornaling, and reading scripture more than I ever had in the past. Somehow, for a time all of that worked very well for me. It was a miracle. God's intervention when I attempeted to eat something when I wasn't truly hungry and a sensation of fullness, very quickly. I was eating at the most about 4 or 5 oz at each meal, and whatever I wanted. Then there was a break in the meeting schedule for summer, and I watched some of the WD at home tapes, but it really wasn't the same, and I soon got out of the habit of the constant prayer, scripture reading, journaling and meditation. I had lost about 50 lbs in 4 months. However, like Peter, as soon as I took my eyes off Jesus, I sunk, big time. I regained all of that and then some. I knew that I was a slave to food , and I couldn't have 2 masters, as I would love one and hate the other. I knew that dieting also was just an attempt to get around the "hard part" of getting real and throwing myself at the feet of Jesus and saying HELP!!! I felt so guilty. How could I have done this? How could I let food be my master again ? Why couldn't I get back on track? I felt like I didn't deserve to consider something like surgery when Jesus was willing to take the obsession away from me if I would just get my dependency on Him . So, I wouldn't even consider the idea of surgery. Until last month when I had picked up a free local health magazine to line my animal cage with, and opened it to an ad for a laproscopic center here. I read the story, screwed up my courage, still not sure. Then I went for a consult, and let them send UHC the info to see if they would approve it, if I decided to do it. Then i found out the insurance my company has is changing 1/1/04 and excludes WLS. I was approved with UHC in 2 weeks, and started getting all of my tests, all the time vacillating, yes or no, should I or shouldn't I? Right now I am almost done with all of the tests, however if the surgery can't be scheduled by the end of Dec it won't be covered. Has anyone else had these issues they have struggled through. I believe nothing happens by accident, and seeing the ad, getting approved so quickly with nothing else requested , the money for the WLS center provided, and the tests scheduled so quickly all within a month of the first inkling of even haveing the surgery. leads me to think that I am getting alot of divine intervention. Thank you for reading this, it has given me a safe place to air these very personal issues that I would not have comfortable with on the main board. Blessings, Maureen

Maureen, Hello. I just found this board also and am glad I did. I too did Weigh Down for a long time. I would lose some, then take my eyes off Jesus and gain it back. I bounced around with my weight for a long time. I had a really hard time with WLS because Gwen was totally against it. It was changing the body that God made. Anyway, a friend up in Chicago had the surgery and she helped me see it a different way. So, I started praying about it. I asked God that if this wasn't his will, then please stop this surgery by not allowing insurance to pay for it. But, you know what, insurance paid every cent. I didn't have to pay anything. I went into surgery with such a peace and calm knowing that God was taking care of me. And He has! I haven't had any problems and I've lost 137 pounds so far. I'm 5'10" and starting weight was 317 pounds and I'm now down to 180 pounds. I've gone from a size 26 to a size 14! I thank God so much for this surgery and what it has done for me. The only problem I've had is low iron and I'm taking iron pills for that. Oh, also, my insurance was also changing from Guardian to UHC. But, they got my surgery date in time. My surgery was September 20, 2002 and our insurance was changing on October 1, 2002. God is good. Just keep praying His will be done! God Bless--Shelly

Well, here's my problem with WDW: before my surgery I didn't understand what "full" was. I never experienced it. That's been one of the most amazing and mind blowing parts of the DS for me. Because the portion of the stomach that has the gland that produces the hormone ghrelin in it is removed, for the first time in my life I know what it means to say, "One more bite and I'll explode!" I had never felt that sensation before. For me - there was an acutal physical issue at play here and because that is an unknown in many cases - tying one's spirituality to it - is well, pretty hurtful! In fact, I've known people who have been publicly rebuked by pastors, etc., for an "obvious" spiritual flaw because of their weight issues. I'm sorry, but that's so not Jesus, so not the character of God. Just my two cents worth... Blessings, dina BPD/DS July 2, 2002 Dr. Aniceto Baltasar in Alcoy, Spain SW: 365 lbs, BMI 64 CW: 180 lbs, BMI 31.9 GW: 130 lbs, BMI 23 Read my story at: http://www.duodenalswitch.com/Patients/Dina/dina.html See my photos in the Photo Gallery at http://www.bodybybaltasar.com/ Wondering what I eat? Check out http://www.fitday.com/WebFit/PublicJournals.html?Owner=dinamcb

Yes GOD's patient!!!!!!!! This is my first day using this forumand I am so glad that I found this......by the time you read this I hope that you have had your surgery....please keep in touch with me....Sis Gail...